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Chapter twenty-one

Matty

"Are you sure, Daddy?" I asked, eyeing the clothes Daddy had laid out for me. The brightly colored dinosaur shirt and comfy shorts felt like a public declaration I wasn't ready to make.

Three days had passed since my rescue. Three days of barely leaving our cabin, of jumping at shadows and unexpected noises. Three days of slowly, carefully letting myself slip back into my Little headspace—but only behind locked doors, only with Daddy.

"Only if you want to, little one," Daddy replied, his voice gentle as he sat beside me on the bed. "No one will judge you either way."

I ran my fingers over the soft fabric of the shirt, tracing the cartoon stegosaurus. "But what if they do? Sophie already made fun of me once."

"Sophie has left town to go stay with her sister and won't be coming back," Daddy said firmly. "And anyone who has a problem with my baby boy will answer to me."

The protectiveness in his voice made something warm unfurl in my chest, but anxiety still churned in my stomach. The club was throwing a "celebration barbecue"—ostensibly to mark Harold's arrest, but really, I knew, to coax me out of hiding.

"I don't know if I can," I admitted, my voice small. "What if I panic? What if I can't breathe again?"

Yesterday, I'd tried to step outside just to sit on the porch, and a sudden overhead shadow—just a bird—had sent me into a full panic attack. Daddy had held me through it, rocking me gently until I could breathe again.

"Then we come back inside," Daddy said simply. "We take it one step at a time. And if today isn't the right day, we try again tomorrow."

I looked up at him, at the unwavering patience in his eyes. "You've already missed so much club stuff because of me."

"I'm exactly where I want to be," he replied, brushing my hair back from my forehead. "The club understands. They're not rushing us."

I picked up the dinosaur shirt again, feeling its weight in my hands. "Will Annabel be there?"

"Yes. Bolt texted earlier to say she's very excited to see you. Apparently, Princess has been asking about Patches every day."

A small smile tugged at my lips and the pressure in my chest lifted a little. "Patches has missed her, too."

Daddy's expression softened at my response. "You know, you don't have to decide right now which headspace to be in. You can just be you—whatever feels right in the moment."

I considered his words, rolling them over in my mind. The idea of not having to choose, of just being whatever version of myself felt safest in the moment, was strangely freeing.

"I want to try," I decided, picking up the dinosaur shirt. "But...can I change if I get uncomfortable?"

"Always," Daddy assured me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "We can come back any time you want."

I nodded, feeling a small flutter of courage. "Okay. I'll wear this one."

"That's my brave boy," Daddy said, his smile warming me from the inside out, and proceeded to put on his own dinosaur t-shirt, which made me feel a bit braver.

I changed slowly, still wincing slightly when the fabric brushed against my healing welts. Daddy watched me with careful eyes, ready to help if needed, but letting me do it myself. I'd said I wanted to dress myself, but now I was regretting it. I wanted Daddy to, and I knew he wanted it as well.

He also wanted me to go talk to someone and promised he would go with me. I knew it was a good idea, but I wasn't ready yet.

When I was dressed, I hesitated at the bedroom door. "Can Patches come too?"

"Of course he can," Daddy said without a moment's hesitation. "He's family."

I scooped up my stuffie, holding him close for reassurance, leaving Bear to guard the cabin just like his namesake was protecting me. "I'm ready," I said, though my voice trembled slightly.

Daddy held out his hand. "Remember, we go at your pace. Just say the word and we'll come back."

The walk to the compound's main area felt endless. Each step away from the safety of our cabin made my heart beat faster, but Daddy's steady presence beside me kept the panic at bay. I could hear music and laughter growing louder as we approached, and my grip on Daddy's hand tightened.

"Breathe, little one," he murmured. "I've got you."

We rounded the corner, and suddenly the barbecue came into view. Club members milled around, some at the grill, others setting up tables. Children played on the grass, their shrieks of laughter punctuating the air. It looked so...normal. So safe.

Feeling a little braver, I waved as both Maria and Daisy turned to look at me, and my feet stopped moving of their own accord. One by one, all the old-ladies turned to look at me, then the brothers, and finally the prospects, and I gaped. “Daddy,” I breathed out the word in astonishment.

Because every single one of them was wearing a dinosaur t-shirt.

Daisy opened her arms for a hug, and I ran into them, feeling Maria very gently at my back, then a giggling Annabel squished into our cuddle sandwich.

"Princess has been so worried," Annabel said, holding up her stuffie. "She's been asking about Patches every day."

I felt a small smile tug at my lips. "Patches missed her too," I said, lifting him slightly.

"Want to come sit with us?" Annabel asked, gesturing to a colorful blanket spread under a tree at the edge of the yard. I glanced back at Daddy, who gave me an encouraging nod.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'll bring you both some food in a bit."

I hesitated for a moment, then followed Annabel to her blanket, Patches clutched tightly to my chest. As I settled onto the soft fabric, I noticed she had her tea set arranged in the center, along with coloring books and crayons.

I noticed she'd even brought a little cart she could wheel the stuffies in which could be fun.

"I brought extra stuff today," she explained, arranging Princess and Patches side by side. "In case you wanted to color or have tea."

"Thanks," I said softly, touched by her thoughtfulness. I reached for a coloring book, flipping through until I found a page with dinosaurs. The simple act of choosing colors and staying inside the lines felt soothing, grounding.

As I colored, I gradually became aware of the activity around us. Club members moved about, setting up food, talking in groups, occasionally glancing our way with small smiles. But no one stared. No one pointed or whispered behind their hands. They just...accepted.

"Everyone got dinosaur shirts," I said, still amazed by the sight. "All of them."

Annabel nodded, carefully coloring a unicorn's mane in rainbow hues. "Daddy said it was to show sol..."

"Solidarity?" I offered.

"Yeah, that. So you'd know you're not alone." She looked up at me with earnest eyes. "And that nobody thinks it's weird. Because it's not."

A lump formed in my throat. I hadn't expected this level of acceptance, this deliberate show of support. These tough, intimidating bikers had put on cartoon shirts just to make me feel comfortable.

"That's really nice of them," I managed, blinking back sudden tears.

"The club is family," Annabel said with complete conviction. "And family takes care of each other."

We colored in companionable silence for a while, the peaceful activity helping to ease my lingering anxiety. Occasionally someone would walk by and compliment our artwork, or ask how we were doing, but no one hovered or made me feel self-conscious.

Bolt appeared with plates of food for both of us, settling them carefully on the edge of the blanket. "How are you doing, Matty?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Better," I admitted. "Thank you for the shirts. All of them."

Bolt grinned, smoothing a hand over his own shirt, which featured a T-Rex trying to play guitar. "Jono's idea, actually. We may have cleaned out three different stores."

"Where's Daddy?" I asked, suddenly realizing I hadn't seen him in a while.

"Talking to Doc by the grill," Bolt said, gesturing behind him. "Want me to get him?"

"No, that's okay," I said, surprising myself. "I'm okay here with Annabel."

Bolt's smile widened. "Good to hear. Eat up before it gets cold."

After he left, I took a bite of the burger he'd brought, realizing suddenly how hungry I was. As Annabel chattered about Princess's adventures over the past few days, I found myself relaxing more, the constant knot of tension in my chest loosening incrementally.

From my spot under the tree, I could see Daddy talking with the doc, his expression serious but calm. He glanced over, catching my eye, and his whole face softened. He gave me a small wave and a questioning thumbs-up. I nodded, managing a genuine smile in return.

"Your Daddy really loves you," Annabel observed, following my gaze.

"Yeah," I agreed, warmth spreading through me. "He really does."

"Daddy says Bear was super scary when you were missing," she continued, arranging Princess's tiny teacup. "Like, even scarier than when Cruise crashed the pickup into Bear's favorite bike."

I wasn't sure how to respond to that but was saved by Daisy approaching with a tray of cupcakes, each topped with colorful frosting and tiny plastic dinosaurs.

"Special delivery for my favorite artists," she announced, setting the tray down on our blanket. "The dinosaurs are clean—you can keep them after."

"Thank you, Miss Daisy," Annabel said, immediately reaching for one topped with pink frosting.

I selected one with green frosting, carefully removing the little stegosaurus perched on top. "These are amazing," I said after taking a bite. "Did you make them?"

"Maria and I stayed up half the night," Daisy confirmed with a wink. "Worth every minute to see you out here with us." She reached out, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before moving on to distribute the rest of the cupcakes.

As the afternoon progressed, I found myself gradually relaxing and my Little coming out more and more. When Annabel invited me to join her tea party, I did so without hesitation, making Patches speak in a gruff voice that had her giggling uncontrollably.