Page 8 of Notorious (Hollywood Heartthrobs #2)

When I asked it, I figured my question would get Connor to stop treating me like a fragile flower in need of protection or…

his. The touching, our late night talks, and the hope wavering in my heart that his jealousy and his resolve to stick close to me might mean something more than casual friendship put me in a dangerous place with the prospect of getting my heart broken.

“So we all agree that we safeguard Ollie until he’s ready to take care of himself?” Connor demanded.

I huffed out a laugh. “I’m not na?ve and I understand not everyone has the best intentions, but I can’t be afraid to find my future someone. He might be out there, waiting for me.”

“Um, based on the statistics, there is no such thing as true love and finding someone out there who is compatible with you and you with them is a hit-or-miss proposition. You’re better off finding a friend with benefits type of situation and not getting your emotions involved at all,” Emilia said.

She placed herself next to Landon, pushing Connor further down the couch, and I breathed out when the heat of his gaze moved away from me.

Omi glided into the room wearing tights and a pink and purple tie dye shirt that matched her calm aura and plopped next to Linus, who she wrapped up in a hug.

Then Valentina came with all the snacks for movie night.

I stood and helped her distribute them, but as she took the seat I was in, Connor snagged me around the waist and pulled me next to him and I cut off the groan bubbling up in my throat.

“You guys chastise me for sleeping around with people who know the score and you’re telling Ollie, our innocent, na?ve Ollie, to trust a stranger enough to be a fuck buddy?”

The room erupted in chaos at Connor’s harsh words, and I ducked down and covered my ears with my hands.

I’d been in the room during these discussions, but I wasn’t a fan of loud voices.

Enthusiasm and protectiveness radiated from the Blake family.

As much as I integrated into their lives, something in my chest cut off my breath as it tightened in anxiety the louder they became.

In the melee, Connor reached for my wrist and pulled me to my feet as we walked toward the back of the room and out a side door I hadn’t realized was there.

We took a set of steps up a narrow corridor and when he opened the second door; we emerged in the hallway right by the stairs up to the bedrooms.

“That’s cool, just like the movie Clue ,” I murmured. “Are there other hidden passages, like from a den to your basement torture chamber? Do you have a dungeon in your house?”

Rather than answering, he pulled me upstairs and into his room; the door clicking shut behind him. Intrigued, I couldn’t help but wonder why he’d whisked me away from the movie, and I studied him for a long moment. It appeared his hands were shaking as he gritted his teeth.

“You know they mean well,” I said.

“It’s not them.”

His statement was terse, before he began pacing back and forth, going into thinking mode.

When there was something on Connor’s mind, he worked through it by pacing and talking to himself until he figured it out or asked for advice to clarify his actions.

Knowing it would take a while, I walked over to the huge oak bookshelves and scanned the spines of the books.

I settled into the armchair near his bed and absorbed myself in a Betty White biography while Connor worked out whatever was bothering him. He’d open up when he was ready, but for the time being, I was in limbo.

Half way through the book, I blinked up to find Connor standing with his hands on his hips, staring at my mouth as if held the answers to all his questions.

“What?”

“You know I would never lead you on, right?” Connor asked.

“I’m not worried about you sending me mixed messages, if that’s what you’re thinking.

Although, admittedly, I have a crush on you.

I’m trying to work through it and while it dinged my heart a bit to hear, I’m glad I understand I had no shot with you.

But in a way, it was good to find out early on when I was getting to know you instead of later when I’d confuse my feelings of friendship with more.

When I grew up, there wasn’t a lot of exposure to gay culture, except online, but how realistic is that?

People invent a persona and very little of what they show is the real them.

I’ll get over it, and maybe someday be brave enough to find someone of my own. ”

“Well… shit.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair, messing it up and making him even sexier than any man had a right to be.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?—”

“Connor, if you want to give me insight on what has you tied up in knots tonight, I’ll be happy to listen.

But as a friend, I think you’re stressing over nothing.

I’m not hurt. And in time, I’ll get over you.

But dwelling on it won’t help either of us.

Look how much my world has opened up since I’ve been here.

And although I never thought it would happen, I even think Sam likes me a bit. ”

He huffed out a laugh and sat down at the end of his bed.

“In all the years since I discovered what sex was, I’d never once considered being with someone for more than one night.

It gives me hives if I stop and think about it.

You’ll meet a man who will give you all you want someday.

It’s just I think you shouldn’t dive right into it, especially putting a profile on an app or finding someone online. ”

Glad to be at the end of the conversation, I closed the book and stood, nodding my head.

“Understood. Besides, I’m busy with my writing and I get all the social interaction I need with your brothers as they drag me around town.” A smile broke out on my face.

He blew out a relieved breath.

“Let’s go see what Lyric picked to watch,” I said.

Moving over to the bookshelves, I replaced the biography, making a mental note to buy it so I could finish it and turned, finding myself face-to-face with Connor.

There was a flash of something behind his beautiful butterscotch gaze hidden behind his half lowered eyelids.

I expected him to step back, to play it off as though there was something on his mind, but he didn’t.

I watched in fascination as he lifted his hand and cupped my cheek. His warm palm shot white heat through me and I bit my lip to stop a moan from escaping.

“What…”

He stepped closer until our chests touched, and the spark in his hazel gaze turned molten, swirling around and pinning me to the spot.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Um.”

In the realm of all the hopeless ideas I’ve ever had in my entire life, having Connor’s lips anywhere near mine took the top spot. It was hard enough moving on when his touch could set me alight, but the knowledge of how his lips would taste would haunt me for the rest of my days.

But then again, wouldn’t the torment be worth one kiss?

Yes. Fuck yes, it would.

“Okay,” I croaked out.

The next few minutes moved at a snail’s pace as I watched his face light up with a smile that threatened to make me fall a little more in love with him.

But when his eyes flicked down to stare at my mouth, his playful expression turned into a feral one as his thumb stroked along the bottom of my lip, causing me to gasp.

“This is so dangerous,” he said, his voice low.

My throat constricted and, although I understood his words, the fear it provoked caused me to gasp and reach for him. Rather than back away and leave the room as I half-expected he would, he stepped closer and moved the one hand not touching my face down to grip my hip, holding me in place.

“I…” I cleared my throat and tried again. “It’s only a kiss. You have my word. I won’t make it into something it’s not.”

Apparently, when my body vibrates with a craving that I’ve never read about, much less found in the words I created for my books, I resort to mumbling random words hoping I’m making enough sense that the sole opportunity of kissing Connor Blake wouldn’t disappear before I made it a reality.

His fingers snaked under my tee and when I felt his warmth trace up the curve of my spine, I shivered, unable to hold back as fire ignited my blood, making me throb.

My eyes drifted closed as he opened his hand on my shoulder, dragging the hot skin of his palm down my back, and I bit my lip to hold myself back from rubbing my hard cock anywhere against this man.

“Those fucking whimpers you make, and the ones you seem unaware of, drive me insane.”

Words ceased understanding as he pressed his lips to my throat.

The moan I’d been holding in since he shut the door to his room, trapping us inside together, escaped without my permission.

His hand tightened on my waist and the other slithered up to cup the back of my neck.

When he squeezed, another embarrassing sound joined the first.

Vibrating with anticipation of a kiss that might never come and panting as though I’d run miles instead of standing here, waiting for more of Connor, I wondered if I wanted the kiss to come.

My next breath became complicated as he leaned forward and pursed his lips right below my ear, lingering there as I clutched him tighter.

“Oh, oh!”

As long as he kept up with the physical contact, I floated on a cloud of pure desire and need.

We hadn’t gotten to the kissing, and I suspected we wouldn’t at this point.

But as my heart thumped in my chest, I knew I wouldn’t regret a moment of this.

Life was for living and if I never met a man who made me feel a fraction of what Connor drew from me with simple touches and sure movements, I’d live off the memories and forgo the disappointments.

With significant force, I blinked open my eyes and surveyed Connor as he started with nibbles down my neck and across my collarbone.

Everything about this man screamed erotic; from the way his hands never stopped exploring to the pure ecstasy on his sculpted face, including his half-lidded bedroom eyes.

His touch set me alight; thrilled to experience it, even for a short while.

“Ollie?”

He raised his head and held my gaze, searching for something I couldn’t understand.

But my expression alerted him to my willingness because he leaned closer, giving me plenty of time to stop him, before he tilted his head.

When his plush lips brushed against mine, I opened for him and shivered as his hot breath warmed my tongue.

Something snapped in him and both of his hands cupped my face as he plundered my mouth, allowing me to savor him, absorb him into my being.

I whimpered, loving the control he had over me as our tongues tangled. Him, taking what he wanted from me and me, along for the ride as I memorized the sensations, his flavor, and the caress of his hands over my skin.

When he broke the kiss, we both panted. With great effort, I forced myself to let go of his clothing and not slide the material up and off the way I yearned to do.

I’d promised, and it didn’t matter at the hole widening in my chest, at the knowledge of never having this again. I smiled, grateful I hadn’t missed out.

“Wow,” I murmured.

Connor seemed dazed, confused when I spoke, but I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the regret when the reality of the situation made him aware of what we’d done.

His hands dropped away from me and with a loud, poignant sigh, I heard his feet shuffle toward the door before the finality of the soft click alerted me I was alone.

Despite my desperate need to cry, I pressed the palm of my hands against my eyelids and took deep breaths. Even knowing it wouldn’t go further than this, I’d hoped. It should have alerted me to what a horrible choice it was, to know Connor as more than a friend. But did I regret it?

No, I didn’t.