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Chapter Fourteen

The icy water stopped my heart, and for a terrifying moment, it felt like it might never beat again. The darkness of the ocean wrapped around me, a relentless, suffocating force pulling me deeper and deeper. It was so damn cold. And so very dark.

It felt like a bad dream, a terrifying nightmare, but one I'd never had before. Usually, my nightmares were about driving down steep hills and not being able to brake. That was a favorite. Or another one where I was lost in a maze and unable to find my way out. But this one was different. I didn't know which way was up, and I was fast running out of breath.

Some desperate need to survive cut through the fog in my brain. Simple, horrifying facts brought me back to reality. I was drowning. I needed to swim. I needed to get air.

I found energy I didn't know I had and started kicking and clawing at the water. There was a dim light above me. That had to be the surface. It felt like an eternity before my head broke free, and I sucked in a gasping breath—only for a wave to crash over me, pulling me under again.

When I came back up, the saltwater burned my eyes and throat, and I coughed and gagged, struggling to stay afloat. My arms and legs were already aching from my previous injuries as well as the cold and the effort of treading water. But I had to keep going.

As a wave bounced me higher on the sea, I finally had a chance to look around. To my horror, I saw the yacht at least a hundred yards away from me, if not more. Reality hit me hard. I was in the middle of the freaking ocean alone, and no one knew I was there.

Panic threatened to overwhelm me, so I started swimming but quickly realized there was no way I could catch the boat. Then I started screaming, trying to wave my hands. But I didn't think anyone could see me.

The truth hit me hard. I was going to die!

I could tread water but for how long? The waves were crushing. It was so cold, and I was already exhausted. I took a rest for a second, trying to float on my back so I had a minute to regroup, to get my strength back. As I looked up at the blue sky and felt the almost blinding sun on my face, I felt like I was hallucinating, because there was my mom's face right in front of me, her beautiful dark hair so much like mine. Some said we had the same smile, but I'd always thought hers was bigger, better. She was smiling at me now.

"I'm coming to see you," I said. "I didn't think it would be this soon."

"It can't be this soon," she told me. "You have more to do, Lauren, more life to live. You have to keep fighting."

"It won't matter. The boat is gone. They must not know I went overboard." I paused, thinking about that. Did someone push me? Did I fall? I remembered being dizzy and off-balance, but I couldn't remember now exactly what had happened. It was all a dark blur. I closed my eyes, thinking maybe this was fine. I could just go to sleep and be with my mom again.

"Lauren, open your eyes," my mother said. "Don't give up. I did not raise you to be a quitter. Remember what I always told you?"

I opened my eyes and saw her face again. "You said other people give up, other people leave, but not us, we never stop. We never quit. That's why you fought to the end."

"I wanted so badly to stay with you," she said.

"I miss you so much."

"I'm with you now, Lauren. I'm going to get you through this."

"How? I can't swim to shore. I can't even see the shore."

"They'll come back for you."

"It might be too late by then. I'm so cold and tired. It's been an awful few days. I don't think I married the right person. In fact, I'm not sure I even know who he is."

"Then you'll find out when you get back on the boat. You can do this. You have to fight."

"We could be together now, Mom. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

"It would be the worst thing in the world, because I love you so much, and I want you to have a life. You have so much more to live for. I want you to have children and grandchildren. I want you to experience all life has to offer. As for Andrew, you'll figure that out. But you have to give yourself a chance to do that. Come on, Lauren, swim."

I was getting numb from the cold, and as another wave dunked me under for a second, I didn't think I had it in me to keep trying, but when I resurfaced, my mom's face was still there. She was yelling at me now, her voice getting louder and louder. She kept calling my name.

And then I realized it wasn’t just her voice—it was lots of voices, echoing across the sea.

The yacht had turned around. It was coming back in my direction. I saw people on the top deck, more on the swim platform. They were yelling my name over and over again.

It wasn't over yet!

I came off my back, kicking hard with my legs as I tried to lift my arms in the air. I screamed as hard as I could, even though it felt like the wind was throwing my voice back at me. But thankfully, the yacht kept coming closer and closer. The people were getting bigger, the voices louder. And then I heard a shout. I saw a deckhand on the swim platform. He grabbed some sort of ring and jumped into the water, followed by another guy.

I tried to swim toward them, but I couldn't get far. I was so tired, so weighted down.

Another man jumped off the platform and into the water. It wasn't a deckhand. I thought it might be Andrew.

It felt like forever, but it was probably only minutes before the first swimmer reached me. He put the ring over my head and pulled my arms up over the sides of it so I was held aloft, and it felt like a miracle to have something holding me up.

The second deckhand reached us next, helping the other pull me toward the boat. We'd gone only a few feet when Andrew appeared in front of me, treading water. He looked absolutely terrified, his face grim, his eyes wide.

"Oh, my God, Lauren," he said. "I can't believe this happened."

I started crying as soon as he said my name.

The two deckhands pulled me toward the boat while Andrew swam next to us. When we reached the yacht, there were more crew members to pull me aboard. A blur of people crowded around as I lay on the swim platform for a moment, exhausted and in pain but, thankfully, alive.

And then I was placed on some sort of stretcher and the crew was taking me down the hall and into one of the staterooms. Andrew and Harper followed the medical crew into the room and got me out of my wet clothes and into bed. Some kind of special blanket was placed over me, which immediately helped me feel warmer, but my teeth were still chattering, and I couldn't stop shaking.

There seemed to be concern about hypothermia, and my temperature was taken on my forehead and in my ear several times by someone who told me he was a medical officer. He also checked my heart rate and oxygen levels every few minutes.

Andrew and Harper tried to talk to me, but I could barely generate a weak smile in return. I was so cold. Gradually, I began to feel warmer, and my tremors eased along with my chattering teeth.

The medical officer gave me a smile and said, "You're doing good. Your temp is coming up. How do you feel?"

"I-I don't know," I said, happy I could at least get some words out. "Better, I think."

"That's what we want," he said.

"You're going to be okay, Lauren," Andrew said, drawing my gaze to his.

"You're wet," I said, seeing beads of water on his face, and his wet shirt was clinging to his chest. "You should change."

"I'm fine. I'll change when I know you're going to be all right."

"You can do that now," the medical officer told Andrew. He turned to a deckhand standing just inside the door. "Can you get him some clothes?"

"Already done," the deckhand said. "Sir, if you want to come with me…"

Andrew hesitated. "I'm not sure I should leave yet."

"I'm doing okay," I told him, my voice stronger this time. "I'm not shivering so badly. You should change."

Before he could move, Victor stepped into the room, his blue eyes dark with concern. "How is she doing?" he asked the medical officer.

"Much better. Her temperature is out of the danger zone, but she should get checked out at the medical center in Avalon."

"Does she need to be flown to an LA hospital? I've got a helicopter on standby."

My eyes widened at Victor's question. "I don't want to be flown anywhere," I said. "I'll be fine when I warm up."

Victor ignored me, focused on the medical officer's response, not mine.

"We'll be back at the harbor in fifteen minutes," the man said. "If she maintains this level of heat and oxygen, she should recover quickly."

"All right." Victor let out a heavy breath. "What happened, Lauren? How did you end up in the water?"

I licked my salty lips, not sure how to answer that question, and I was suddenly very aware of everyone in the room: Andrew, Harper, Victor, the medical officer, the deckhand by the door, and now Bennett was squeezing into the room, too. I could hear chatter in the hall. There were probably more guests and staff hovering outside the door. They all seemed concerned and worried about me, but was all that worry about my welfare or about what I might say?

"Lauren?" Harper pressed. "How did you fall in?"

I didn't like her question. Everyone kept assuming I was the problem. I'd fallen off the horse. Now I'd fallen off the yacht. Did they really think I was that clumsy? Anger rose within me as I realized how close I'd come to dying, and it wasn't my fault. Someone had pushed me off the platform. They'd taken advantage of my unstable, woozy condition and given me a shove.

And that was after Allison had told me to go downstairs to use the restroom, after I heard two men talking about something in one of the staterooms, and maybe one of those men had seen me stumble away. Had I heard something I wasn't supposed to? At this moment, I wasn't sure of anything, because it was all a blur.

But they were waiting for an answer, and as the seconds ticked by, I knew I had to say something. But what if whoever had pushed me into the ocean was standing in this room?

God! I didn't want to believe that.

But how could I trust anyone?

"This is concerning," Victor said. "Her level of confusion. Maybe we need to get her to Los Angeles. Andrew, what do you think?"

"Wait," I said, finally finding my voice. "I took some pain medication earlier for my hip, and it made me a little woozy. I felt disoriented when I went looking for the restroom, and at some point, I ended up on the swim platform. I'm not sure exactly how I got into the water, but my head is clearing, and I'm sure it will come back to me. I need a little time."

I wasn't going to make an accusation in this group. That would only add more drama and maybe put my life at even greater risk. It was better to blame everything on the medication at this point.

"I never should have given you that medication," Andrew said. "You were in so much pain."

"I probably shouldn't have drunk champagne at the same time," I added.

The tension in the room eased at my words, as I'd given them a plausible explanation and taken all the blame onto myself.

"We'll let you rest then," Victor said. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, Lauren. I feel completely responsible for even allowing that area of the yacht to be open and untended. I had no idea it was possible for anyone to get that close to the water while we were cruising. I am going to ensure that whoever is responsible is punished and never works on my boat again."

His rage felt thoughtful but also irrelevant. I didn't plan on ever getting on this boat again, so I didn't really care about his plans for future security. I actually just wanted to close my eyes against the lights and the questioning gazes, take some deep breaths, and try to get my bearings.

"That's enough. Lauren needs some space," Harper said, taking charge. "She can answer all your questions later, but right now, everyone who doesn't need to be here should go. Andrew, why don't you get out of those wet clothes so you can come back and sit with Lauren? In the meantime, I will stay with her, and everyone else can go back to doing whatever they were doing."

At her sharp words, the room cleared, leaving only Harper, me, and the medical officer. I turned to him. "How am I really?"

He gave me a reassuring smile and said, "You're going to be fine."

I let out a breath. "Okay, good. I needed to hear that."

"I'll be back in a few minutes to check on you."

As he left the room, I looked at Harper. "Thanks for going bitchy Harper on everyone."

She smiled. "No problem." She sat down on the side of the bed. "I'm not going to ask you any questions, because clearly you are not up to answering, but I wanted to let you know that everyone was really concerned about you when I realized you were missing."

"You realized that first?"

"Yes, I came down from the bridge to look for you, and you weren't at the table. I went downstairs and didn't see you, but I saw Allison, and she said she'd actually been looking for you, too, because you'd seemed like you were feeling ill and had gone down there to look for the restroom. I started searching for you, and then I saw one of your shoes on the swim platform. I knew something terrible had happened. I started screaming, and they finally got the boat turned around. It felt like it took forever."

"It felt like that to me, too." I paused as Andrew came back into the room dressed in a gray sweatshirt and sweatpants.

Harper got up from the bed. "I'll leave you two alone."

As she left, Andrew stretched out on the bed next to me, putting his arm across my body as he gave me a slow, warming kiss. I wanted to savor his kiss, his embrace. I wanted to feel safe with him. But my brain was flashing on odd moments of memory, and I didn't know if they were real.

Had I heard Andrew talking to someone downstairs? Or had that been someone else?

I'd felt someone behind me on the swim platform. I'd thought it was him. But then I'd felt a push in the middle of my back.

I pulled back at that thought.

He gave me a surprised look. "Lauren?"

"Sorry. I was just remembering when I went into the water."

"I thought you didn't remember."

"It's hazy in my head. I'm not sure."

"You don't have to remember right now. Don't think about it."

Did he not want me to remember because he'd been there? That was crazy. That would mean he'd pushed me in the water, and he wouldn't have done that. If he'd wanted me to die, he wouldn't have jumped into the sea to rescue me.

Although he had jumped in after the two other guys. Maybe he'd thought it would look bad if he didn't try to save me. At that point, the deckhands had a better chance of bringing me back safely to the yacht. It had probably made for a good photo, though , I thought cynically. No doubt Megan and her team had been shooting my entire rescue. Not that Victor would want any of this to get out. It would be another secret to keep. There were getting to be so many of those, I didn't know how I could keep up with all of them.

Andrew propped his head up on one elbow as he gazed down at me. "You really gave me a scare, Lauren. I thought I was going to lose you."

"I thought I was going to die, too. The yacht was so far away, and I was alone in the middle of the ocean. But when I looked up at the sky, I saw my mom. She kept talking to me. She kept telling me to fight."

"I'm glad her spirit was with you."

"Me, too. I don't know if I could have held on without her there encouraging me."

"I never should have left you alone at the table. I had no idea you were feeling that bad. You should have said something before I went up to the bridge."

"I wasn't feeling that bad then. It got worse and worse. I felt like I was going to throw up, so I went downstairs to find a restroom."

"Why didn't you use the one off the main salon? Why go downstairs?"

"Allison told me the nearest restroom was downstairs."

His gaze darkened. "Allison told you to go downstairs? Why were you talking to her?"

"Because she came and sat next to me after you left the table."

He frowned. "What did she say to you?"

"I don't know. I still feel disoriented, Andrew." I did remember some of my conversation with Allison, but I didn't want to get into it until I had more time to think about what she'd said. And I was also so damned tired. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Of course."

"I need to close my eyes for a minute." As I shut out his handsome face, I wanted to believe that Andrew was the man I'd fallen in love with, the best man I'd ever met. I didn't want to think about all the doubts, the lies of omission, the extra phone, Ethan's warning words, or Allison's calculating smile.

But as I tried to rest, I kept hearing voices in my head, and there was a smell. Perfume. Had Allison been downstairs, too? Or had she been behind me on the swim platform? "Oh, my God," I murmured as my eyes flew open.

"What?" he asked. "Did you remember something, Lauren?"

I looked into his blue eyes, wanting to tell him everything, but then I remembered his secret phone, the message from someone named Al, the way Allison had implied there was so much about Andrew I didn't know.

I licked my lips. I had to answer his question. I had to tell him something. "There was someone behind me on the swim platform, and I think I smelled perfume, maybe the same kind of perfume that Allison wears. Then I felt a hard shove." I shuddered with the memory of flying off the platform and into the freezing water. "I didn't fall in the water, Andrew. Someone pushed me. And I think I know who it was."

He met my gaze and shook his head. "Allison wouldn't do that."

"Maybe you don't know her as well as you think you do."

"She wouldn't try to hurt you, Lauren. She wouldn't do that to you or to me." He paused. "Are you sure you didn't fall? You said you were woozy and out of it. How do you even know if you actually smelled anything?"

He wasn't completely wrong. I had felt disoriented and confused.

"Is it possible you stumbled and fell in?" he asked. "That seems a more likely scenario than someone pushing you into the sea during an elegant lunch cruise."

The way he said it made my doubts seem far less believable, and I could see he wanted to believe that the medication had made me fall into the water. I kind of wanted to believe that, too. Because the idea of someone deliberately trying to hurt me was terrifying.

But when I closed my eyes, I could feel the push from behind, and I knew with a terrible certainty that there was no way I had just fallen into the ocean.