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“ W hat’re we doing, then?” Kevin came to stand beside me. He was sweating lightly and radiating heat like the freaking sun.

Jasper was as bad.

Compared to the two of them, I was a reptile.

“I could do with a model to demonstrate the proper form for Charlie,” Jasper said. “Got a couple of minutes to help out?”

“Yep.”

“Brill. I think we’ll recap the bicep curls, then do the basics—deadlift, row, overhead press—and before we finish up, I want him to try out a couple of barbell squats.”

“Squats are my favourite,” Kevin informed me. “Great for the back and butt. Spot on for me, what with all the lifting I do at work.”

Despite my brain yelling sharply, No! Do not! in the exact same way I yelled at Phil whenever he saw some geese in the park he wanted to go and make friends with, my eyes inevitably tracked down Kevin’s side to his arse.

And Kevin obligingly turned and presented it to me.

I was still staring at it, thinking, He is naked under there naked buttocks no pants just butt perfect round butt when he reached out, knocked my shoulder lightly and turned me to check out mine.

“Yeah,” he said, “you could do with a good squatting routine. You’ve got a flat little butt, you have.”

I twisted around to glare at him. “Excuse me?”

“Flat little butt,” he repeated, as if the problem was that I hadn’t heard the insult. “You do a lot of cardio, Charlie, but you’ll wear yourself down if you don’t put muscle on. I worry about you.”

“How dare you—what? You what?”

“You’re always zipping around in your shop. I’ve never once seen you take a break.”

“Well. I take plenty. You probably just keep missing it.”

I was always on the go at the coffee shop, yes. But at home I was mostly on my sofa, what with being knackered by being on the go at the coffee shop.

I had balance.

Also…? He worried about me?

He noticed me? Other than as a vaguely man-shaped dispenser of caffeine and pastries?

He smiled and said to Jasper, “Let’s show him how it’s done, hey?”

Jasper looked a little wary. He was probably expecting me to throw my dumbbell at Kevin for insulting my butt, and storm off.

Had it been anyone other than Kevin, I would have.

Instead, I politely passed Kevin one of my dumbbells, and ground my teeth when he giggled.

“Hee hee.”

“What now?” I snapped.

Kevin grinned at Jasper, who shot him a conspiratorial wink and said, “We’re starting him off easy.”

It wasn’t that light, for crying out loud.

I watched Kevin happily pump out a few curls.

On the other hand, maybe it was that light.

He may as well have been doing it with an imaginary dumbbell, going on the ease with which he was flexing his arm.

Jasper must have agreed, because he switched out the dumbbell I’d been using with one that was clearly heavier. Kevin adjusted his casual stance, holding the weight steady.

“Charlie, come around here and get a good look.”

I drifted reluctantly closer. Jasper nudged me closer still, until my eyeballs were less than a foot from Kevin’s big, sculpted arm.

He stood patiently while Jasper pointed out the muscles and the tendons, and how I should be able to see the tension in them as Kevin held the weight. “Do another set for us, would you?” he said to Kevin. “Nice and slow.”

“Yup.”

The bicep by my face tightened and bunched as Kevin curled the weight up. It flattened and smoothed out as he lowered it. Tightened and bunched. Flattened and smoothed. His breathing was slow and steady. His muscles worked easily, flexing under warm, tan skin dusted lightly with hair.

I glanced from his arm up to his face. He was watching me, and he gave me an encouraging smile.

“See what I’ve been talking about?” Jasper said.

“Yes,” I said uncertainly.

“Try it with your weight,” Jasper said.

“Hee hee,” Kevin said.

I glared at him, and snapped out a curl.

“Charlie, no,” Jasper said. “Don’t swing it, and don’t move your body.”

I lowered the dumbbell, exasperated, then shoved it at Jasper, who caught it with a sigh. “Clearly this is above my skill level.”

“Here.” Kevin took my hand with his free one and yanked me into his body. “Have a feel.”

I opened my mouth and my throat creaked.

He nodded encouragingly and set my hand on his bicep. Then he reached for my other hand and put it on his side. His hard, incredibly solid side. “This’ll help. Maybe you’re a kinaesthetic learner, like me. Means I gotta feel it in my body to learn it.”

“Good idea, Kevin,” Jasper said cheerfully.

“I’m not a kinaesthetic learner,” I said. “I’m really just crap at sports.” I wasn’t physical at all, which should have been wildly obvious to these two prime specimens of sweating, muscly manhood as I stood between them like a pallid, limp noodle.

I obediently clutched Kevin while he did a bicep curl. Jasper stood behind me, close enough that his body was brushing mine. He reached around to flatten my hand on Kevin’s side, and slid it up and down a couple of times.

“See?” he said. “Feel how solid he is? He’s stable. Grounded. What you’re doing is swinging your body weight forwards, and using the momentum to swing the weight up. It’s cheating.”

“God forbid I cheat at lifting weights.”

“Asymmetrical biceps,” Jasper reminded me in a whisper.

“I do not believe you about that.”

“Hush.”

“Shall I do some more?” Kevin said.

“Yeah, do a set of eight,” Jasper told him. “Right, Charlie. Press against his waist here, and you’ll feel his abs tighten.”

I stared at my hand, sitting on Kevin’s abs. Jasper was still talking, I was aware of it, but all I heard was white noise. A crackle, like static.

Was I having an episode, I wondered vaguely?

Kevin was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a black Under Armour logo dead centre on his wide chest. It was, presumably, chosen for its lightweight, sweat-wicking properties. It did nothing to hold back the sheer animal heat of him as he worked through a set.

“Now up here. Charlie. Charlie?”

“Hmm?” I glanced at Kevin before I realised that Jasper was the one talking. Kevin’s attention was on my face. He was watching me watch him. He blinked, slowly. I had no idea what he was thinking. One side of his mouth hitched, but mostly his expression was blank.

“Charlie,” Jasper said again. “Pay attention up here. His arm.”

Great. Now I was back to staring at his bare, gleaming, flexing muscle.

Seriously. I resented this. I really did.

This was supposed to be a blood pressure-lowering gym trip, not what probably looked from the outside like a three-way date, as we huddled at the back end of the main room, touching each other.

I wasn’t a big toucher. I liked my personal space, thanks all the same.

And yet here I was, quite contentedly touching Kevin.

Kevin pumped iron and I held my hand over the hot, sleek curve of his bicep as he did it.

His skin was smooth under my palm, contracting and relaxing in a hypnotic rhythm.

“Are you feeling it, Charlie?” Jasper said.

“Yes,” I said. I really was.

“Shall I do some more?” Kevin asked, and I realised belatedly that he’d reached the end of his set.

“Yes,” I said, still touching him.

“I think we’ll have Charlie do some first.”

“Yes,” I said. “Wait, no.” I snatched my hands off his body and held them up in front of me in a warding gesture.

“Ah, go on.” Kevin pushed his dumbbell at me. “Bet you can do it properly now.”

I took the dumbbell, said, “ Oof ,” and bent at the waist when it dragged me down.

“Hee hee,” Kevin said.

“Can you stop that?”

“Sorry. It’s funny.”

I huffed at him but he looked… ugh , he looked so sweet when he smiled, I didn’t have the heart to tell him off.

“Give it back here,” Kevin said, easing the dumbbell out of my grip. He took the lighter one off Jasper, who was being uncharacteristically quiet, and passed it to me. “Now you do it, and I’ll check you’re using your muscles right.” He put one hand on my waist and the other on my arm, exactly as I had done to him. He squeezed. “Go on, then.”

I did a few sulky reps, and scowled when they both made a big fuss.

“Yes, Charlie!” Jasper said. “ You nailed it. Woo! ”

“If you’re going to start wooing at me,” I told him, “I’m leaving and I’m never coming back.”

He and Kevin laughed.

They thought I was joking.

“Don’t go,” Kevin said. I nearly swallowed my tongue when he hooked an arm around my neck, turned me, and hauled me in the direction of the squat rack. “We’ve got to work on your flat little butt next.”

“It is not flat.” And what was all this we business?

Kevin released my neck, but only to grab my hips and push me ahead a step to get a good look.

“Do you mind?” I reached behind me and swatted at him.

He paid no attention, his big hands on my hips holding me firmly in place. “Yeah, I reckon you can lift it with a good squatting routine,” he said confidently.

“ Lift it? I?—”

I did not need a butt lift.

“What d’you think, Jasper?” Kevin said.

“Good strong legs and glutes are definitely a priority,” Jasper said.

“I have perfectly efficient legs and an absolutely adequate arse, thank you very much. They’ve served me well enough for thirty-one years and I’m sure will continue to do so for another thirty-one. And weren’t there other exercises I was supposed to do first?” For some reason it seemed imperative to stop Kevin thinking about my arse. “Deadlifts and Russian twists or whatever? Actually, you know what? I’ve got plenty of other things I should be doing. Time is ticking on. I should probably call it a day.”

“Oh.” Kevin was still holding me. In the mirror, I saw his smile fade.

Wow. You could see the happiness drain away.

My god. I was a monster.

I just didn’t think I could keep it together if Kevin dropped into a squat and Jasper made me get in close to feel up his bum and really get an idea of the muscle groups. I wouldn’t have even considered it a possibility before I set foot in the gym, but having spent the last ten minutes dutifully feeling up his arm and his abs as he did bicep curls, who knew?

“Or…” I said reluctantly. Kevin brightened. Shit. “Or I could probably fit in a few more minutes.”

“You can?” Jasper said.

I chewed my lip, not at all sure I was making the right decision here. “Mm-hmm.”

“Great! If you’re a bit tight for time, we can save the squats for another day.”

“Aw,” Kevin said.

Yes. Squats were his favourite. I had a feeling they would be my undoing.

I jumped on it. “Yes, I can go for another ten minutes. Show me the moves, and then I can buy some weights of my own, and do it at home.”

Jasper snorted. “Hah. No, you’ll come here to do it. No one ever uses the weights they have at home. So. Yes, another ten?”

“Yep.”

Jasper rocked back on his heels and hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ve got to run to the office and sort out a scheduling issue. Kev? You want to take him through it?”

“No problem. I can do that.”

“Wait,” I said. “You’re my personal trainer. Don’t palm me off onto Kevin. That’s not his job. What am I paying you for?”

“You’re not paying me at all,” Jasper said. “Back in a mo.” He strode off.

I watched him go with a bubble of panic, and then I realised that Kevin was still standing behind me, holding me with his hands curled around my hipbones and his long fingers stretching over my abs. I stared at our reflection in the mirror.

He was three or four inches taller than me, his shoulders were wider, and he was significantly bulkier. Held in front of him like that, I looked positively slender.

The thought caused something to turn over low in my belly.

He had a faint line between his brows. His lids were lowered and his short lashes fanned out on his cheeks. His mouth, which was usually in a wide, sunny smile, was closed and pressed into a stern line, which…?

Kevin?

Stern?

Kevin, who said things like hee hee, and was so laidback that he made Jasper look about as uptight as Ray?

His gaze flicked up.

I…

His eyes were dark and focused and pinned mine for a long, shivery moment as his fingers tightened on my hips.

I twisted out of his grip and lunged away.

I spun around to face him, my heart pounding. Before I could say anything—what? What was I going to say ?—he grabbed some dumbbells and thrust them at me.

“Deadlifts,” he announced cheerfully. “Right, what you’re doing here, is…”

Rattled by the crackling tension that was there and gone as if I’d imagined it, I let Kevin boss me through the basics of deadlifts and one-armed rows. He had me touch his triceps this time when he did it, and maybe there really was something about weightlifting for mental clarity after all. By the time Jasper deigned to return and Kevin and I were parked on the floor working our way through a set of Russian twists, I was feeling pretty mellow.

Or bored to tears. It was hard to tell. I was never mellow and I always had so much to do, I was never bored.

Both mental states were a mystery.

“How’s it going, boys?” Jasper said, standing over us.

“Great,” Kevin panted. “This is fun. Everyone I’ve ever met already knows how to use a gym. I never got to take anyone’s gym virginity before. I feel special. How about you, Charlie?”

All the mellow feelings evaporated at the mental image of Kevin taking my virginity.

I knew he was joking about what he’d overheard in the changing room earlier, but that didn’t seem to make a difference. My cheeks scorched with heat. I made a big show of concentrating on my final twists—god, this was the worst exercise known to man, second only to forearm side-planks—and grunted out, “Six…seven…eight!”

“Your virginity, Charlie,” Kevin said, good and loud. “Did I take it nicely?”

Okay. I’d miscalculated. I’d assumed he’d let the joke go when I’d pretended not to hear it. I was wrong.

He stared at me with a guileless expression on his face, then leaned over and nudged me. “Did I, Charlie?”

A lot of the time, Kevin was in his own little world. It was one of the things I loved about him. You took one look at him and could tell that he was clearly off thinking his thoughts, letting life and all its worries just wash over him.

I admired that.

It seemed like a valuable life skill.

And then other times, like right now, I got suspicious.

He wasn’t innocently asking the wrong thing, blundering his way through a social situation and oblivious to it. He was doing it on purpose. He was perfectly aware of the fact I was trying to ignore his question, and he wasn’t having it.

“Yes,” I said. “You were wonderful. Tender yet firm. Next time you come into The Chipped Cup, I’ll give you an extra cookie as a little thank you.”

“Ooh. Oatmeal and cranberry, please. The kind where half of it is dipped in chocolate.” He set the weight down and rose lithely to his feet. He stuck out a hand.

I took it and he tugged me up, laughing and catching my hips to steady me when I stumbled against him.

Jasper cleared his throat. “Um. Charlie. Don’t be mad. That scheduling issue? I have to cover Mel’s yoga class this morning because she needs to take her little boy to the doctor’s. It starts in about ten minutes, and I have a class of my own scheduled right after. I’m sorry, but I can’t drive you home.”

I knew I should have driven myself and not fallen into old habits of letting Jasper get his way with a bit of wheedling and a big smile.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ll catch the bus. Or walk. It’s a nice day.”

Not quite nice enough for an hour and a half’s impromptu hike, which is how long it would probably take me. The gym was outside Chipping Fairford and I lived on the other side of town.

“Nah,” Kevin said. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh. No. I couldn’t possibly ask?—”

“S’all right, Charlie. You didn’t ask. I’m offering.”

Of course he was.

“Okay,” I said, because I couldn’t think how to say no without offending him. And, sure. Kevin probably wouldn’t be all that offended. Unfortunately for me, while I had zero problem saying no to everyone else in the world—very much enjoyed it, in fact—when it came to the men I loved, I was a complete pushover. “Thanks, Kevin. That’d be so great.”

He puffed up, looking pleased with himself as he racked the weights.

I took the opportunity to glare at Jasper, who had the nerve to wink.

“I’m never coming here again,” I said.

“Oh, you’ll be back. You won’t be able to stay away.”

“I’ve managed blindingly well up to this point, Jasper, I can’t see why?—”

“Kev,” Jasper said. “On the way home, convince Charlie that coming to the gym is good for him and he needs to do it regularly.”

“Yup,” Kevin said, concentrating on getting the weights in the right spaces.

I was doomed.

“You fucker,” I mouthed at Jasper.

“You’re welcome,” he mouthed nonsensically back, and strode off.

I turned to Kevin, who had finished juggling the dumbbells and was giving the squat rack a wistful look. “You want to do some squats before we go?” I asked.

“Yes, I really do. I have my routine, you know. I like to stick to it. It’s good for me. Keeps me calm.”

“I can’t imagine you not being calm. You’re the calmest guy I know.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said. “But I’m talking, like, sexually.”

I felt as if I’d walked into a clothesline, throat-first. “What?” I wheezed, and immediately wished I’d kept my mouth shut.

“If I don’t do enough physical stuff, I get worked up,” Kevin said.

“What…what does that mean, exactly? Worked up?”

He lifted his brows a fraction. “Sexually.”

I flailed. Emotionally.

He leaned in and said, lowering his voice, “If I didn’t come to the gym and burn some of the energy off, I’d be wanking all day long. And picking fights with my mates.”

“I…nooooo. Uh. You…? Um.”

Wanking?

All day long?

… all day?

My imagination threw up a quick image of what that might look like, and I made a weak noise.

I couldn’t believe I was here. In a gym, talking to Kevin Wallis about his intimate habits like we were discussing whether he wanted an almond croissant or a chocolate muffin today.

He was as placid, unbothered, and frank as ever.

I was a seething mess of embarrassment and fascination.

This was not good.

“Right,” I said, backing up. “I’m going to go and shower—no! No no, do not come with me. It’s fine. You…you know.” I waved a hand vaguely at the barbells and racked plates. “Do your thing. Your routine. Burn all that…burn it off.”

“You sure? I don’t mind skipping it for once.”

“Yes!” I was sure.

I was sure that I didn’t want him to follow me into the changing room. Into the showers.

I was sure that I didn’t want to stand there, knowing he was naked in the stall beside me, big body wet and covered with suds.

I was very sure I didn’t want to stand there, hyperventilating, while I pondered the odds of him jerking out a quiet one because he skipped a few exercises in his usual routine and his uncontainable sexual energy was about to boil over.

“Cool,” he said, and turned towards the squat rack. “I’ll do some of these, then I have to wait until I can find someone to spot me while I do some bench presses. Oh, hey. You want to hang around and do that?”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times.

“I’ll do the bench presses first and you can spot me, then you can go and shower while I finish up with the squats. How’s that sound?”

“Amazing,” I said.

And so for the next twenty minutes, I stood at the head of a weight bench and soul-gazed with Kevin Wallis while he lay beneath me, body stretched out long, arms and chest flexing as he heaved the barbell up and down.

He was, he informed me, pressing well over three hundred pounds these days.

Since he clocked me as weighing one fifty after a big meal, he said, if I went rigid and held still, he could do this to me, easy.

I already was rigid and holding still. At the thought of him bench-pressing me, I went even more rigid.

Once he was working through his sets, his face turned blank and distant. His breathing was deep and steady. He raised and lowered the bar with the regularity of a metronome.

He didn’t take his eyes off me.

The second I helped set the barbell back into the cradle, I bolted.