Page 12 of Not that Impressed (Houston Pumas #3)

WILL

It should not be this hard to focus on watching game film. It never has been for me.

I can’t stop thinking about Ellie.

I press pause on the Blues-Rays game from last week that I’ve been trying to watch. We’ve gone over film as a team, but I’m not going to be the best defensive player in the league without an A-plus effort and some extra credit.

I can’t focus on the Rays offense like I’ve been trying to.

We play them in three days. I want to figure out all the ways I can sack Dash and get at least three or four big plays this game.

In the past, most teams have overlooked the Rays, but they’ve built a solid team the last couple years.

This game will be just as tough as playing our rivals, the Blues, in a few weeks.

I want to be prepared for all the tricks the Rays offense has up its sleeve, but that’s hard when every few minutes I realize I’m pondering over my conversation with Ellie at Charlie’s last night.

More of my judgments of her and her family’s TV show fell away when she pointed out that I do the same thing with the public image I present.

No, I don’t share all the nitty-gritty things.

I’m not in the same position as her. But she’s not wrong that I’ve chosen how to present my story.

That I’ve left out parts, maybe subconsciously, to prove to the world that I deserve to be a pro football player.

That I didn’t buy my way in—which is what she insinuated.

I didn’t like thinking about it that way, but that’s not exactly a lie either.

Ellie challenges me in a way people haven’t for a while. Yeah, my coaches and my teammates demand a lot from me on the field. Nobody calls me out like her. Forces me to think about things in ways I might not like.

She’s getting under my skin.

I’m not as annoyed about that as I should be.

Maybe it’s because I got to bed late and the exhaustion is making it hard to focus. That’s a reasonable explanation. Better than I might have caught feelings for a woman who hates me.

Ellie was in the guest bedroom with Janelle when I got back to Charlie’s after dropping her car off. I didn’t stick around after that. I already felt dumb for being at Charlie’s until almost midnight trying to prove to Ellie that I’m not a jerk.

But now it feels like it’s about more than just not being a jerk. Like I want her to know I’m a good guy.

Why in the world do I need her to know I’m a good guy? Why does it matter?

What comes after proving I’m a good guy? Being friends? More than that?

No. Her off-the-camera personality is intriguing, but I shudder thinking about having to spend time with her on camera.

That’s what a friendship or more with her means.

Her whole life is in front of an audience.

It’s probably in her contract that she has to film a certain number of hours with friends and … guys who are more than friends.

Stop, Pemberton, just stop.

Why am I dwelling on this? The fact that we had dinner together and can be civil is enough.

There was a brief moment in the living room before she gave me the keys that made me pause, made something stir in my chest. It was more than proving myself to her? —

No. Enough.

I press play again and force myself to watch for patterns and tics of the Rays quarterback, Dash. The tight end, Knight, is his go-to guy. If Dash can get the ball to him, he will. I’ll make sure to keep an eye on Knight.

I make notes on the offensive formations for the plays they run.

The quicker I can figure out the play in the moment, the quicker we can react as a defense.

The Rays run a trick play right before the half against the Blues that gets them forty yards and a field goal as they go into half-time.

I pause the game again to search the internet for similar versions of that trick play the Rays have done and manage to stay focused for almost half an hour as I make notes about the formation they’re in for that play.

I don’t want anyone getting a forty-yard run on me on Sunday.

When I’ve found all the YouTube footage I can, and my notes are making my eyes burn, I get up to burn off some of the energy with some drills I can do at home.

I have a decent sized home gym even though I live in an apartment, and I head there to do a linebacker readiness drill that will take a lot of focus.

Less brain room to analyze what Ellie might think about me.

I set my phone near me with an app that will blow a whistle at random intervals.

Then I crouch in my two-point stance, muscles tense and at the ready for the whistle.

When the phone blares the shrill tone, I snap my lead foot forward six inches then pull it back and set up back in my position.

I have to be ready to move fast when the center snaps the ball to the quarterback, ready to jump at the line as quickly as I can if I want a chance to get in for a sack.

It’s early in the season, but I’m already leading both my team and the league in sacks. If I can keep that up, I have a chance at being the defensive player of the year, and if I can push myself, maybe even winning the MVP award, as rare as that is for a defensive player.

When I’ve done several sets of ten of the drill, I lay back and stare up at the ceiling. It’s high so I can do jump drills without hitting my head. That’s one of the reasons I moved here. It doesn’t take long for my thoughts to roll back to Ellie, and I reach up and wipe a hand down my face.

Why does it have to be her?

Kara has thrown out hints for years that she’d be interested if I was interested, and she makes a lot more sense.

Mostly because I don’t have to worry about everything that comes out of my mouth when I’m around her.

Charlie and I have been playing together since high school, and the magic way we work on defense is the biggest reason we were recruited by the same college and then signed by the same pro team.

I’ve known Kara for over a decade. She doesn’t read all the worst things into whatever I say the way Ellie does. Kara is smart and driven?—

Well, so is Ellie.

Maybe it comes down to the fact that I don’t have to sort through a mountain of information about Kara and decide what’s fact or fiction, truth versus gossip.

I also can’t ignore the spark that ignites when Ellie looks at me with those fierce green eyes, even when she’s glaring, and I’ve never felt a spark with Kara, or we would have gone down that road.

She never judged my path to the pros or that my parents sacrificed a lot, in money and time, to give me opportunities. She was only making a point, challenging me, proving that her brand of entertainment might be different from mine, but we have more in common than I admitted at first.

Last night, when I stared at her in the dim light of Charlie’s living room, I wanted to reach for her, pull her into my arms.

I wanted to see what happened.

Ellie makes me feel . Like when I miss something on the football field and Coach gets on my case. When I get it right? When my work pays off? It’s powerful.

I want that off the field too.

I sit up and shake my head. That isn’t how relationships work. I’ll work on being Ellie’s friend, for Charlie and Janelle’s sake. That’s it.

Mr.Colin

Excited for some upcoming collabs! Who here would love to hang out with @Ellie.Bennet.IRL? Ever since meeting her, I’ve singled her out as one of my top ten personalities making a difference.