Page 28 of Not That Guy

Weston

Had I made a mistake? Coming home to find the apartment empty and Brenner moved out, I’d blown up, cursing him for leaving.

Eventually I’d stopped ranting, pulled my head out of my ass, and thought about it like a rational person.

I’d acted like the spoiled, petulant brat he’d always accused me of being.

Brenner wasn’t some hookup I’d never see again or a mistake I’d made while drunk.

I’d known exactly what I was doing when I’d sucked his dick.

This was more than lust or desire. It was a feeling of rightness.

I wanted him. Maybe the reason I’d pushed him away all those years ago was because I’d known this was who I was and hadn’t been ready or able to accept it.

Now I had to own up to this—to me. Brenner was a successful attorney, not a scrappy foster kid with something to prove.

Nor was he someone I had to protect. The man was smart and quick and could handle himself.

The truth hit me like a punch to the jaw: I wanted him with me.

I liked having someone to sit and talk with after the workday was done.

I missed our banter over dinner and his smartass comebacks.

Once we’d stopped acting like dicks to each other, we’d discovered that a lot more brought us together than separated us.

I walked through my apartment, and it felt empty… hollow.

And so did I.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

But Brenner didn’t move, and my hope faded that we could recapture what had happened between us. I didn’t know how or why being with him turned me on, and it didn’t matter. I’d had a fucking week, and all I wanted was to be with the one person I could be real with.

“I don’t know. Why are you here?”

Bullshit didn’t work with Brenner, so I needed to lay it on the line. “I’m sorry I was a colossal jerk. Stuff happened that I don’t know how to handle, and instead of dealing with it, I took it out on you and pushed you away.”

God, being honest hurt like hell. Maybe that was why people hid the truth. Unless you had someone to put your trust in, how did you know you wouldn’t get hurt? I’d taken that first step when I’d told Brenner about my father.

He remained silent, staring at me with confusion and hurt in those big blue eyes.

“I need to talk to someone I can trust, and you’re the only one.”

Being with Brenner opened me up to such scrutiny, and though it made me squirm, I was willing to let him take the lead.

All I wanted was to babble my way out of the situation, but I shut my damn mouth and waited.

And thank fuck he didn’t slam the door in my face but instead opened it wider.

I didn’t stride right in, staying by the tiny entrance, which still allowed me a glimpse of the spectacular views of the skyline and the river through floor-to-ceiling windows.

It hit me—the scenery might be incredible, but my concentration remained solely on Brenner.

“Do you still want to tell me about it?” Brenner asked, his lips tugging up in a smile I could see he was trying but failing to suppress. “Or did you really come all the way to Brooklyn for cheese?”

I grinned, and the tightness in my chest unraveled. Suddenly I could breathe. “Maybe I want a taste of both? Cheese and…” I left the second part unspoken, but the flush painting Brenner’s cheeks left little doubt he knew where the second part of the sentence led.

Why and how had it come to this point where I needed to share the most personal part of my life with Brenner Fleming?

Grady had been after me all week to talk about my shitty mood, but as close as we’d become, and despite knowing he cared, the words stuck and I couldn’t speak.

But here, with Brenner, the pain easily flowed from heart to mouth.

“Come.” He led me through the tiny space of his one room to the couch, where he sat by my side and didn’t let go of me. “You can have it all—the cheese and me. But you need to get something off your chest first, so let it go.”

His hand burned in mine, and like the other night, his mouth called to me.

I didn’t understand it, didn’t try to explain or justify it, but instead cupped his cheek and guided our lips together.

The moment his touched mine, that switch flipped on, flooding my darkness with light, and all I could think about was tasting Brenner’s tongue in my mouth.

“Bren, I need you. Please.” Words I never thought would pass my lips escaped, and I pulled him close, sucking his tongue, swallowing his gasps. Brenner’s hands rested heavy on my shoulders and pushed me off. Panting, I gazed into his stern face.

“Talk to me.”

Pleasure drained from me. “It’s my father.”

Concern replaced annoyance in his eyes. “I kind of guessed that. What happened?”

I didn’t know what to do with my hands, my heart pounded, and a knot formed in my stomach. Not since my mother went into the hospital had I felt so lost and sick to my stomach.

“After the primary results and my no-show, I received a formal letter that he’s removed me from his will. He’s cut me out.”

“West, I’m so sorry.” Brenner pulled me close, lips resting in my hair.

“I should’ve expected something like this. He’s always been a vindictive bastard.”

Brenner massaged my shoulders. “You have every right to be upset.”

“I shouldn’t be, right?” Unwanted tears burned my eyes, and I grew angry with myself.

“Who says so?”

“I mean…we haven’t spoken in years. I defied him, and he’s made these threats countless times. I don’t need his money. I guess I just never thought he’d follow through, but he’s got his new family now. By getting rid of me, he can completely erase the past. Meaning me.”

Brenner tipped my chin and met my eyes. “I can’t imagine anyone who knows you ever forgetting you.”

I didn’t answer…couldn’t. I trembled and couldn’t trust my voice not to crack. When I leaned in close, I still wasn’t sure he’d meet me, but the touch of his lips on mine stole my soul. Soft kisses grew lingering, our tongues tasting, then chasing, until we couldn’t hold back.

“Bren,” I gasped and held his face between my palms, anchoring him to me. “I need you. So damn much.”

“God, West,” he moaned, and I’d never wanted anything more than to hear him say my name.

Brenner pulled my shirt up and over my head, our lips disconnecting for only a second before he took my mouth again, and damned if I didn’t like his bossy, demanding side. My dick stiffened and ached to the point of pain.

“Please, Bren. Please.”

“Yes.” The husky rasp traveled straight to my balls. “Everything. God, do it.” Our clothes went flying, and he grabbed my hand. “This way.”

In my fevered mind I remembered his injuries and held him, letting his body weight lean on me. Around a half ledge, his bed sat tucked into a nook, and we tumbled down together, legs and arms tangled. Our full, leaking cocks rubbed together, and though it felt fucking amazing, it wasn’t enough.

Not anymore.

As if reading my mind, Brenner propped himself on an elbow, and I brushed the burnished dark hair tumbling over his brow.

“I want you. All of you.” I leaned in to press a kiss to his red, swollen lips, their softness fast becoming an addiction.

“Me too.” Red-faced, he ducked his head, then peered up at me through those thick lashes. When the hell had he gone from annoying to adorable? “I’m still so confused how all this happened and why.”

“I’m not sure we’ll ever know definitively why we’re attracted to whom we are.

And does it matter? I never imagined wanting to be with a guy, but all I know is that if I see you, I have to touch you.

Kiss you.” I mapped the hard dips of his muscles with my fingertips, feeling the rough, wiry hair of his chest and thighs.

All new and so damn tempting. “So how could that be bad?”

“It isn’t. And I don’t want you to stop.

” The honesty of his words stunned me. “I-I want you inside me. I fucking ache for you, and I don’t know what the hell it means because you’re a man, but I can’t find one damn reason it should matter.

” His fingers skimmed my face. “You being here with me makes everything right.”

The buzzer rang and Brenner’s eyes grew wide, then crinkled shut with laughter. “My food delivery. That’s who I thought you were and why I allowed you up.” He hesitated, then leaned in for a kiss. “Be right back.”

Was I going to lose my nerve? I could make a joke about it and leave, but when he returned from putting the milk in the refrigerator, all I wanted was to kiss him again.

So I did.

We broke apart—I was breathless and shaking yet never more certain that this was so damn right. I hadn’t a clue how to get started, but we could figure out the mechanics together. “Do you have lube? I guess I need to prep you…you know.” My gaze flicked to his ass.

Those big blue eyes fired with unmistakable lust. “Yeah. Do that. It’s in the drawer next to the bed.”

I crawled to where he pointed and took it out, plus a couple of condoms. I figured it would be no different than rubbing one out, so I coated my fingers and pointed to the bed.

“Lie down and open wide.”

“The last person who said that to me was my dentist, and he gave me a root canal.”

“I’m gonna drill you a different way.” I ran one finger along the shadowy cleft, and Brenner’s eyes clashed with mine. I went to two, liking the sound of his sharp, indrawn hiss and how he instinctively opened up to me.

“I hope your technique is better than your jokes…ahhh,” he cried out as I slipped one finger past the rim of his tight hole. “Warn a guy first.”

“Going in,” I murmured and pushed in farther, fascinated and turned-on by the hot clasp of his muscle squeezing me. “Whoa, you should feel this.” I moved it in and out, watching Brenner twist under my busy fingers.

“I do,” Brenner panted. “Please. Another finger.”

I couldn’t imagine how it would fit, but I managed, and Brenner moaned and worked himself on my hand.

“Damn,” I whispered to myself, watching his face, and without even realizing it, I was stroking my dick as I finger-fucked Brenner.

It was the hottest thing I’d ever done or seen.

Brenner wrapped his hand around his shaft, and his mouth fell open.

“West, please. Fuck me. Oh, God.”

I pulled out my fingers, my dick leaking everywhere, and with shaky hands, opened the packet and rolled the condom on.

I poured on some lube, then added even more.

My control teetered on the edge of something irrevocable, and instinct took control.

I pushed his legs up to his shoulders, gritted my teeth, and nudged the head of my cock in past the rim.

“Oh shit, that hurts.”

Despite the urge to go deep, I stopped. “I’ll slow down.” Little by little I slid in, stopping every few seconds. “Are you okay?” I placed a kiss on his lips.

“Yeah. It hurts but feels good at the same time. God,” he groaned as I slipped another inch farther. “So fucking good. All the way.”

I sank in fully, and a deep flush covered Brenner’s face. “So good. You’re pulling me apart…how can I still be together…? I fucking need it, West.” His eyes widened as I pushed and met resistance. “Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Do that again. Please.”

Damn, hearing him tell me how I made him feel was the biggest turn-on. I normally didn’t like sex talk, but listening to Brenner got my blood going. I thrust, gently at first, but when he began to claw my back and his head thrashed side to side, I moved faster.

“I don’t want to hurt your ribs.” I braced on my hands and held off from grinding into him like I wanted to.

My dick was wrapped in a silken fist of fire, and seeing Brenner lose control under me brought out a wild, primitive side I’d never known existed.

I wanted to take him and fuck him until he passed out.

“Screw my ribs. Move, dammit. More.”

That bossy growl sent me into a frenzy, and I pumped into him, lost in a possessive, driving haze of lust. I barely heard him cry out as he climaxed, splattering come over the two of us.

Sweat poured off me, and our bodies slapped together.

I heard his moans and felt the squeeze of his ass on my dick.

Fucking hell, this is the sexiest thing that’s ever happened to me.

The roar of my orgasm tore through me, and I came so hard, I thought my heart stopped. Blinded for a moment, I managed the little self-control I had left to not collapse on top of Brenner, waiting on trembling arms for my brain to unscramble.

My wits finally in order, I pulled out as slowly and gently as I’d pushed in, took off the condom, and tossed it into the trash. Brenner’s eyes remained closed, his chest heaving, rivulets of sweat running down his bright-red face. I crawled next to him and kissed his cheek.

“How do you feel?”

He turned his head and opened his eyes. They glowed like twin sapphires. “Like a fucking king.”

I rested my head in the crook of his neck. “You are. And you’re sure I didn’t hurt you? What did it feel like?” I ran my foot up his leg.

“Full—like being split in half yet more whole…more me than I’d ever been before with anyone else.

Then I was flying, and I didn’t ever want to come off from that high.

It hurt, but I forgot the pain when you hit my prostate.

I remember Bailey trying to get me to understand what happens, but I couldn’t imagine what he was talking about.

Damn, he was right. Oh, my fucking God.” Laughter bubbled up from Brenner, and I cocked my head.

“What?”

“This.” He waved a hand in the air. “Us. Imagine what Bailey would say if he ever found out.”

“Knowing him, he’d want to join in,” I joked. “Or watch.” I played with the swirls of Brenner’s dark chest hair. “Are we telling anyone about…us?”

Brenner winced as he shifted to his side and faced me. The question in his eyes matched the tumult running through my head. “What are you thinking?”

“I don’t have anything to hide, and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, but I’d rather not, at least right now. Not because I’m ashamed of what we’ve done or afraid of what people might say, but because I kind of like it being just the two of us.” I kissed him. “Against the world.”

Apparently, that was the correct answer, because a smile claimed Brenner’s face. “I agree,” he murmured. “I have another question.”

I yawned. “ Mmm , what?” My eyelids weighed a thousand pounds.

“Stay here tonight?”

I took his arm and draped it over my shoulder, then snuggled in close. “Try and get rid of me. Besides, you owe me cheese.”