Page 148 of Nobody's Fool

Sure, it worked, I think to myself. All you have to do is kill your own sister to hit rock bottom. They should contact rehab centers and tell them they’ve found the cure.

I think this. I don’t say it. I need him to keep talking.

“So you fly to Chicago,” I say.

“Yes. I was going to tell Talia what happened. I mean, how could I not? I thought she would understand because it was the same forher—do we lose one child or both? But when I landed, something changed.”

“She was with the other man.”

“Well, yes, that was part of it, though in truth, I barely cared. It was nothing in the grand scheme of things. But even before that, I’m sitting on the plane and I’m rehearsing in my mind what I’m going to tell Talia, and it sounded reasonable in my ears—we have a chance to save one of our children—but once I was there, once I saw Talia’s face, I mean, how could I tell her? How could I know how she’d react? She isn’t much of an actress, my wife. It’s what I love about her. She didn’t have that kind of guile. How could I be sure she wouldn’t turn Thomas in? Could she really pretend well enough to fool the police or her friends or her family for the rest of our lives? And when I thought about the pain I was in—the pain of losing my daughter—could I maybe spare her that too?” He glances away briefly. “I love my wife. I didn’t want that for her.”

“So you didn’t tell her.”

“I didn’t tell her.”

“You just made her live with the lie.”

“Don’t you see? She would have to live with a lie no matter what. If I tell her what I’d done, she’d be forced to live with the same lie Thomas and I had to live with—pretending her daughter had been kidnapped or run off. If I don’t tell her, she lives with the lie of not knowing the truth. You tell me, Kierce. Which is better?”

I don’t reply.

“Those were my options that night. Do I lose one child that night—or do I lose two? Do I make my wife part of my lie—or do I let her live with what I thought was a more comforting lie? I did what I thought was best. And if I could go back in time and do it again, I don’t know if I would change much. Thomas is strong and healthy now. My wonderful granddaughters, the apples of our eyes, would not be here. You’ve heard the expression that you have to breaka few eggs to make an omelet? I don’t know about that, but the eggs were broken anyway—I could leave a mess or I could try to make an omelet.”

I can’t help but frown at that. “Jesus, is that what you tell yourself?”

“Tragedy is a hell of a teacher. It’s just too damn cruel.”

I remember Thomas telling me the same thing.

“But I was wrong on one thing,” Archie continues. “Dead wrong. Or so I thought for a long time.”

“That being?”

“Maybe I should have told Talia the truth,” he says. “By not telling her what really happened, I gave her hope. People think hope is a good thing, but it’s not. Every day my wife woke up and hoped—hoped—that today would be the day we would find Victoria. The not-knowing was debilitating.”

I understood this. I had said something similar to Talia.

“Nothing heals trauma better than resolution and closure.”

“I am a problem solver,” Archie continues. “I never give up. I keep searching for solutions. But I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t solve this one. Not for a long time.”

“And then you met Anna.”

“Yes.”

“Problem solved,” I say.

“I know you don’t believe that, but—”

I hold up my hand to silence him. I don’t want to hear it again. “And how about now?”

“What do you mean?”

“Will you tell Talia the truth now?”

Archie Belmond frowns. “What sense would that make? Can you imagine the additional pain it would cause?”

“The truth will set you free,” I say.