Page 21 of Nobody Wants Me (Volkov Bratva #5)

V ictor

I held Freya’s hair back from her face as last night’s wine finally came back to say hello. It stunk bad, and the poor woman clearly hadn’t ever experienced a hangover before. This one was clearly set to kill her.

“Oh, God,” she said.

I rubbed at her back.

She had kissed me, or at least crushed her lips against mine and then passed out in my arms. If I hadn’t been holding her, she would have hit the ground with a thud.

I didn’t let that happen. With her passed out, I didn’t know if I should put her in her own room, or in mine.

I didn’t know how she was going to handle drunkenness, so I put her in my bed.

I joined her, and for the longest time I watched her sleep.

I couldn’t help but wonder about the life she had led at the hands of Harris. The man wasn’t nice. He was cruelty on a whole different level. No one would have been able to survive it.

When Freya had woken up this morning, she took one look at me, and I saw the moment she went completely green. It hadn’t been pretty. I knew what was coming next. I’d experienced a few hangovers in my lifetime. This was Freya’s first.

She held onto the edge of the toilet, throwing up everything. I did what I could to make it as easy for her as possible. Rubbing her back, keeping her long brown hair out of the way. She stopped throwing up, and rested her head against the edge of the toilet.

“Why do people do this to themselves?” she asked. “It makes no sense.”

“You were happy drinking last night.”

She groaned. “No. I’m not drinking again. This is not good.” She took a deep breath and leaned over the toilet once again. She heaved, but nothing came out.

I don’t know how long we were at the toilet, but she did eventually say she was good. I highly doubted it. Giving her a couple of painkillers, I started the shower and tested the water.

She looked so damn weak.

Stripping out of my night clothes, I put them into the basket.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“You want to have a shower. Trust me. It will make you feel better.”

I didn’t wait for her to agree. Stripping her out of the nightshirt I had placed her in, I moved her toward the shower, stepping her into the direction of the warm water as it sprayed down on both of us.

The moment it touched her, she let out a little gasp, but I held her.

Cold water was a lot better, but I was not going to hurt her with the cold.

A short time later, I let her go, and she was able to stand on her own two feet, so I reached for the shampoo. Lathering up her hair, I rinsed it out, and then got to the conditioner. Once her hair was done, I soaped her body, washing off the day.

I took care of myself quickly, washing my body and hair with the same block of soap, and I was done. Turning off the shower, I stepped out, grabbing one of the towels to dry my face. It was then I noticed Freya was looking everywhere but at me.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No, nothing is wrong.”

I also happened to notice she was trying and failing to hide her body behind her hands. There was no way she was going to be able to hide her sexy body from me.

“You can look. I am still your husband.”

“Come on, Victor, we don’t have that kind of relationship.”

“Yeah, but if you’re going to want children, we’re going to need to have that kind of relationship. I don’t want to finish in a cup and have some kind of doctor insert my semen inside you.”

This got her attention.

“What?”

“I know we’re going to try and make it as friends, and I agree with you, we should do this as friends, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea.”

“Our wedding night is not how it is between a man and a woman. I was a pig, okay? I ... didn’t want what was happening, and I just did my duty.”

“I don’t want to be a duty.”

“You’re not,” I said. “Not anymore.”

“Is this because of Ivan?” she asked.

“No, this is because you told Ivan you’d think about it, and you didn’t go straight for divorce. You had your out and you didn’t take it. I can’t promise you love, Freya, but I can promise you I will try and make you happy. Besides, Ivan will kick my ass now that he knows you’re his baby sister.”

This made her smile, a little.

I took a step toward her, then another and another, until I was right in front of her.

“I know this won’t be easy. Last night, you wanted to kiss me, and you did kiss me. How about now that you have no alcohol in your system, I kiss you?” I said.

Her eyes went wide, but she didn’t argue or tell me no. I did expect her to tell me to fuck off. She didn’t. I took that as the green light to kiss her.

I was not going to fuck this up. This was going to be a kiss to remember. Cupping her face, I tilted her head back just slightly so I could look into her big beautiful eyes. Like giant pools staring right back at me.

Her lips were so plump. I had already gotten her to brush her teeth, and then I closed the distance.

I didn’t want her to think about what was going to happen.

I was not going to push. We would go at Freya’s pace.

I kissed her. At first, our lips just brushed together, a light contact, and then I deepened the kiss.

Hearing her soft, subtle moan, I traced my tongue across her bottom lip, and she opened up, and this time I plunged inside and heard her moan turn to a groan.

I wanted to make her toes curl and set her on fire with need.

Sinking one of my hands into the back of her head, I tightened my grip and slid my other hand down her body, drawing her in closer. We were flesh to flesh. I felt the mounds of her tits as they pressed against my chest. I didn’t hide my arousal from her either.

Damn, I wanted my wife. I craved her.

How the fuck did this happen?

But I had to make it right with her. I had to not fuck this up.

Never did I anticipate wanting my wife.

****

F reya

“Again!”

I hated my husband. It didn’t matter that he had kissed me just this morning in a way that made my toes curl.

Nor did it matter that he had taken care of me, cooked me breakfast, and taken me for a nice long walk on the beach.

He had been totally and completely dreamy.

None of that mattered, because right now, I hated him.

I got to my feet, and I was panting.

My training had continued and The Butcher was doing the hand-to-hand combat, and getting my defensive skills working.

Victor was going for the attack. I had to keep attacking him, which ended up with me on the ground and him holding me in some way.

Usually, with him saying, “Now you’re dead.

” I was getting tired of being the one that was dead.

He wanted me to attack him, only it was useless. I couldn’t get close to him. I had attempted to attack him up top, down below, and then went for his stomach. Nothing. I was no match for him.

This time, I charged at him, only I went down and wrapped my arms around one of his ankles. “I am not letting go,” I said.

“Freya?”

“No, I am going to win this one. I am not letting go.”

And like that, he started to move me across the sand, and he did so without even seeming to break into a sweat.

This was not fair. I growled, and without warning him, I wrapped both my arms around his ankles.

Victor was not expecting this kind of attack, and even to my surprise it seemed to work, and he stumbled.

I worked on that stumble, helping him fall to the ground.

He did end up flat on his back, and I took full advantage by crawling up his body and sitting on him. I put a hand on his chest, and in that moment I was victorious.

“I win, and you’re dead.”

He grabbed my hips, and I squealed as within seconds, I was no longer on top but flat on my back, and he had a hand on my neck. Victor didn’t tighten his grip. He held onto me and let me know he was in charge.

I must be a little strange because I liked him holding me in place. Yeah, something was very wrong with me as I looked up. He looked so damn sexy.

“Now I’m dead,” I said. “That’s a shame because I could have totally kissed you.”

I don’t know where that had come from. Just that I had been thinking about our shared kiss for a long time. Even now, my lips tingled from it. I wanted him to kiss me again.

As I stared up at him, I could feel myself practically begging him to kiss me. I didn’t ask him to. I didn’t know if I should. Would it be wrong to kiss him again? After all, he was my husband. We should be able to kiss? Did that make me weak?

We didn’t have the best start, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a good marriage. I know Victor. He was helping keep me safe, and as much as I hated to admit this, I was attracted to him.

Sure, there were parts of him I didn’t like. Like the fact he destroyed my quilt. I was never going to forget that. Would I hold that against him forever?

“Kiss me,” I said.

I don’t know why I asked him, but I wanted him to kiss me.

Victor let go of my neck, and without another word, he leaned in close and kissed me. His lips on mine felt so perfect. I didn’t want that one kiss to end. It made my toes curl and felt so good.

Victor placed both of his hands either side of my head, and I wrapped mine around his neck, drawing him close.

It took me several attempts to get him to hold me, and he finally did.

He dropped his body weight on me and I liked it.

I liked holding him and feeling his arms wrapped around me as we kissed.

The kiss started out slow, and he explored my lips. Running his tongue across my bottom lip, and I wanted to taste him, so I pressed my tongue in the same way he did for me. I didn’t want to stop.

I don’t know how he felt, but with our bodies so close together, I felt the hard length of him pressed against my stomach. Victor was aroused, and I knew I was wet.

Time passed and slowly Victor brought the kiss to a stop. Staring up at him, I pressed my palm against his cheek.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, but that was some kiss.”

This made him laugh.

“I don’t want you to divorce me.”

This was a surprise. “What?”

“Look, I’m not claiming to love you, but I do care about you, Freya. I don’t want to marry anyone else. I’m asking you to settle for me. To let me give you a good life. I won’t be a prick to you. I won’t destroy another quilt. I will accept your gifts. We’ll make this work.”

I knew he didn’t want to have anyone else. If I divorced him, Ivan would find him another wife. Did I want to go and find a husband?

The truth was, knowing that Ivan Volkov was my brother was going to make things harder.

It was bad enough having Harris as a dad, but now Ivan.

Men would come to get close to him. They wouldn’t want me.

I was giving up on the chance of love, but with Victor, I at least knew we were going to make this work.

“You’re not just saying that because I’m Ivan’s sister, are you?” I asked, jokingly.

Victor didn’t need to get any closer to Ivan than he already was. He was a Brigadier. Ivan trusted him.

“Yeah, totally,” he said. “It will make my life easier having the sister of my boss as my wife.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It will be great. All the other Brigadiers will be jealous of the fact Ivan is going to want to come to my territory all the time to see his sister, and any kids we have are going to be nieces and nephews. They will be so envious of me.”

I laughed. I had learned enough to know that where the Brigadiers were loyal to Ivan and loved him in their own way, my brother meddled. He liked to cause trouble, or at least play devil’s advocate.

“You’d put up with that for me?” I asked.

“Yeah, I think I owe you a lot, don’t I? This is before we even start talking about kids.”

This made me take a deep breath. “You want kids?” I asked.

“Yeah, I do. What about you?”

“I do.”

“How many?” he asked.

“I want a big family, so I’d be happy with say, five or six,” I said.

I think I expected him to freak out, but instead he smiled.

“Five or six it is.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got a problem,” I said. “I don’t like sex.”

Victor sighed and I was pretty sure his face went bright red. “That’s my fault. Sex is not like that. Forgive me?”

“Forgive you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t prepare you. I just ... I was so angry, and that is no excuse, because you hate it. Give me a chance to prove that I can make this work. That I can make your toes curl and wipe out all memory of our past.”

“Okay,” I said. “But you’ve got to give me time. You’ve got to give us time.”

“That, I can do.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

In that moment, I knew I was the happiest I had been in a very long time. I didn’t want to step off this cloud nine. Victor was more than I could have imagined.

Were we going to have a good life? I honestly didn’t know, because The Grid was still after me.

My fake father was still alive. For all I knew, my fake brothers were still alive.

There was no guarantee of the future but laying in the sand with my husband between my thighs, and my lips tingling, I did feel somewhat hopeful for the future we might have together.

Some may think this wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t looking for perfect. I’d never had perfect, and finding out I’m related to Ivan Volkov and my whole life had been a lie, I thought I was handling it rather well.