Page 51

Amelia was sitting near the yarrow patch on the hill, the wind tugging at her hair. She’d told herself she wouldn’t cry, but her throat was tight. Her fingers twisted in the fabric of her skirt, her knuckles white with the effort to hold herself together.

‘Exactly where I thought I’d find you,’ said a voice.

Amelia’s head whipped around, startled. Harriet stood a few paces away, her arms crossed, her wiry frame silhouetted against the grey sky.

‘I was just here to think,’ Amelia replied tersely, looking back at the waves.

‘Doesn’t seem like it’s doing you much good,’ Harriet said, her voice cutting as usual. But there was a pause before she added, ‘I brought you something.’

Amelia glanced at her warily as Harriet crouched down slowly and placed a weathered satchel on the ground between them. Her hands lingered on the clasp, fingers trembling slightly as though she wasn’t sure if she should go through with whatever she’d come to do.

But eventually, Harriet undid the clasp and pulled out a bundle of yellowed papers tied together with a faded red ribbon. She held them out to Amelia, who hesitated before taking them. ‘These,’ Harriet began, ‘belonged to Bel.’ She blinked. ‘Mabel.’

Amelia turned the bundle over in her hands. The top letter was addressed in her grandmother’s familiar hand. It was addressed to Harriet. She glanced at the first page, parsing a few words.

‘I don’t understand,’ Amelia said, though her heart was already pounding with the realisation. ‘Why does she—?’

‘Because we were in love, Amelia,’ Harriet said, her voice quiet and trembling.

Amelia’s fingers tightened on the letters as she stared at Harriet, her mind racing.

‘You and my grandmother?’ she whispered.

Harriet nodded, her face unreadable. ‘We were together before you were born, before your mother was born. But this place…’ She gestured around them, her hand sweeping toward the village. ‘It wouldn’t have understood. So we hid it. We hid everything.’

Amelia opened her mouth to speak, but Harriet cut her off.

‘When we were young, Mabel wanted to leave,’ Harriet told her. ‘She begged me to go with her. She said we could start fresh on the mainland. But I couldn’t do it. I was too scared.’

Amelia’s breath caught in her throat. ‘She wanted to leave?’

‘She wanted to leave more than anything,’ Harriet said, her gaze distant. ‘That’s why she wanted to be the one to take the trip every ten years. It was her chance to see the life she could have had.’

‘She could have just gone. Why didn’t she?’

‘Because I was here, and she loved me.’ One tear rolled down Harriet’s cheek—the first Amelia had ever seen. ‘I kept her here. And then your mother kept her here. And then you. And then, I suppose, time kept her here.’

Amelia was wide-eyed. ‘Me?’

Harriet nodded, her expression hardening. ‘Since you were young, she had high hopes for you. She wanted to see you grow. She thought you would be the one to change things here. That you would lead us into a better time.’

Amelia shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. ‘But she was always so unforgiving of my mistakes.’

Harriet nodded. ‘She was hard on the people she loved. When she found out about my still, my goodness, she threw a fit.’

‘But she let you keep it.’

‘Yes. She did.’ She frowned. ‘I think by then she knew I couldn’t be any more than I was.’

Amelia stared down at the letters in her lap, her vision blurred. ‘Why are you telling me this now?’

Harriet let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders sagging. ‘Because I’ve been angry for so long. Angry at her. Angry at myself for being too much of a coward to leave with her. And angry at you because you remind me of her.’

Amelia was startled.

‘You’re so much like her,’ Harriet said, her voice thick with emotion. ‘Seeing you—so full of fire—it’s like seeing her all over again, just as she was. And it hurts. That’s why I’ve been so cruel to you.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t undo that.’

She gathered herself, and she was the usual tough Harriet once more. ‘But you don’t have to make the same mistakes we did, Amelia. You can live a life I was too afraid to choose.’

‘What do I do?’ Amelia asked, discombobulated.

Harriet gave a sad, weary smile. ‘You can stay and try to change this place from within, or you can leave. Go with your mainlander.’

‘But what should I do?’ she demanded, her voice cracking.

Harriet shook her head. ‘That’s for you to decide.’

With that, Harriet turned and walked away, leaving Amelia alone with the letters and far too many emotions.

Amelia stared at the bundle in her lap, the weight of her grandmother’s unlived life pressing down on her. For the first time, she wondered if staying on Solhaven was what she truly wanted—or if it was just what she thought she owed.

Suddenly, she was on her feet, clutching the letters in her grip.

Amelia’s heart thundered in her chest as she bolted down the hill. She didn’t know what she was doing, so she let her body make the choice. And what it did was keep going.

The cold air stung her face, and the world around her blurred into motion—trees, cottages, and familiar faces all melting into a single, rushing streak.

‘Where are you going!’ Her mother’s voice rang out behind her, sharp and insistent.

‘I’m leaving!’ she shouted over her shoulder, slowing a little. ‘I’m getting on the boat.’

‘What!?’ her mother nearly screamed.

Amelia turned, walking backwards but refusing to stop moving. ‘Bye, Mother!’ she called, realising how happy she was.

This is what she wanted, and she was doing it. Not even her mother could ruin that.

‘Amelia!’ her mother cried. ‘You’ve lost your mind.’

‘I know. I hope to find it on the mainland,’ she said and started running again.

Her mother was still yelling, she thought. But she was too far to make any of it out, thank heavens.

Amelia pushed on, the thudding of her heart and the roaring of the wind drowning out everything else.

The dock came into view. She could see the trawler now, the wide wake of the boat cutting through the grey-blue of the sea, and Tara. She was standing at the railing, her silhouette outlined by the sun.

The boat was pulling away. Amelia’s feet moved faster, desperation pushing her past her limits. The gap between the dock and the boat widened, but Amelia’s body didn’t stop. She reached the edge of the dock and launched herself into the air, arms outstretched, her fingers grasping for the trawler’s side.

It was just a little too far. Amelia went into the water.

She came up quickly, gasping. ‘Amelia!’ Tara cried, leaning over the railing.

Amelia swam the last foot to the boat. Her grandmother’s letters floated around her. She looked up at Tara as arms reached down, gripped her, and hauled her awkwardly up onto the boat.

Gasping, wet, and wild-eyed, Amelia lay out on the deck. Tom was looking down at her in astonishment. ‘Jumping Jesus!’ he muttered, tipping his hat back.

But Amelia barely noticed him. She looked up at Tara, now handing her a towel. It was like the world had gone still as she saw the face she thought she’d never see again, the sound of the boat’s engines and the waves fading away.

She pushed herself up, her body trembling from the cold and the adrenaline. ‘I’m coming with you,’ Amelia said, her voice firm despite the chaos inside.

She wasn’t going to let Tara slip away. Maybe it was a mistake. But Amelia had to make it.

Tara blinked at her. ‘You’re serious?’ she asked.

‘I tried to jump onto a boat that wasn’t there,’ Amelia said, by way of proof of her intentions.

‘I noticed that,’ Tara said, still stunned. ‘But what’s changed?’

‘I have,’ she told her. ‘I tried not to, but it happened anyway. And I’m glad.’

Tara looked fearful. ‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ she asked anxiously.

‘Did you mean it when you said that you’re falling in love with me?’ she asked tentatively.

At first, Tara froze, and for a terrifying second, Amelia wondered if she had made a mistake. But then she nodded vehemently. ‘I thought I’d said too much. You didn’t say anything…’

‘I’m falling in love with you too,’ Amelia said immediately. ‘It took me a moment to recognise what the feeling was, that’s all. I should have thought to pick up Shakespeare. I’d have understood perfectly,’ she added with a smile.

Tara’s eyes widened in shocked delight.

Without thinking, Amelia reached for Tara, pulling her close. She felt her pulse in her throat, in her chest, in her fingertips as she kissed Tara with everything she had left.

When they finally pulled apart, breathless, Tara’s forehead rested against Amelia’s. ‘You see? Completely unpredictable,’ Tara whispered, her hands still holding Amelia close.

Amelia smiled through the flood of emotions surging inside her—relief, exhilaration, fear, hope. She didn’t know what came next, didn’t know if this was the beginning of something or the end of everything, but she knew she had taken a leap she could never undo. And didn’t want to.

‘Actually, I think this was always going to happen,’ Amelia said softly, her thumb tracing Tara’s jawline. She wanted to touch it forever. She hoped she might.

However, there were a few matters of housekeeping that would have to be dealt with. ‘Umm, the thing is… I don’t have any money. Or a job. Or a place to live. Or a change of clothes, come to think of it. So, would it be… Could I stay with you?’

Tara’s eyebrows shot up. ‘My god. You’ve only been a lesbian for ten minutes, and you’re already trying to U-Haul with me.’

Amelia blinked, a little lost. ‘What does that mean?’

Tara chuckled, the sound rich and warm, and shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter. Yes. Stay with me. We’ll figure it out.’

Amelia’s heart soared. ‘You’re sure?’

‘I’m sure,’ Tara said with the biggest smile Amelia had ever seen her wear, her hand slipping to Amelia’s waist, tugging her closer.

Tom suddenly cleared his throat. Amelia turned, almost surprised to see him.

‘I don’t mean to interrupt,’ he said sheepishly. ‘It sounded like you’re worrying about money?’

‘I suppose I have to now,’ Amelia admitted with a small laugh. ‘I don’t even know where to start on the mainland. I don’t have anything to offer…’

Tom straightened. ‘You’ve got more than you think. The seaweed farm makes money.’

‘Yes, but the profits are used for supplies. What little is left is to cover your trouble.’

He gave a nervous little chuckle. ‘It’s not a little. The cost has been steadily rising for the last few years.’

Amelia frowned. ‘Still, Tom—'

‘I’m not asking,’ Tom interrupted, his voice firm but kind. ‘That money came from Solhaven’s efforts. You’re part of that, Amelia. You deserve your share.’

‘I don’t want to take advantage—’

‘You’re not,’ Tom said, cutting her off again. ‘I’ve always thought the lion’s share of the profits should go back to the people who built the farm, the people who’ve lived and worked on the island. But Solhaven wouldn’t take it. But now, you can. So I’ll split the profits with you. No arguments.’

Amelia hesitated, still unsure.

Tara placed a reassuring hand on Amelia’s arm, her smile gentle. ‘Let him help you. It’s not charity—it’s fairness.’

Amelia swallowed hard, her emotions swirling. Finally, she nodded. ‘Alright. Thank you, Tom.’

Tom looked relieved. ‘Good. Great.’

Amelia was amazed at how quickly her life was changing, and for the better. For the first time in a long while, Amelia let herself feel like she was exactly where she was supposed to be—on the edge of something new, uncertain but full of possibility.

‘Amelia, I think you need a change of clothes,’ Tara pointed out. ‘I’m worried you’re gonna get pneumonia.’

Amelia looked down at her soggy skirt. ‘Oh. Yes.’

Tom was already holding a small, well-worn duffel bag that had seen better days, and he opened it. ‘Probably a little loose, but better than nothing.’ He pulled out a navy-blue flannel shirt, a grey t-shirt, and a pair of sturdy denim jeans. Underneath was a set of well-worn boots with scuff marks, and the salt stains of countless trips out on the water that completed the ensemble.

‘Thanks, Tom,’ she said, accepting the clothes. It was nice how he didn’t seem to care that she’d kissed Tara on the lips in front of him. But she supposed that as a mainlander, he’d be used to such sights. Amelia supposed that, in time, she would be too.

Behind her, Tara started laughing.

Amelia turned. ‘What?’

Tara was looking at the clothes in her hands. ‘The transformation to mainlander lesbian is coming at lightning speed.’

‘This is another one of those things I’m going to need you to explain later,’ Amelia said happily. Because now, she and Tara had a later.