Page 16 of Noah (Pecan Pines #4)

Chapter 16

Noah

I couldn’t breathe. My heart was hammering, my chest tight with the kind of panic that threatened to choke me.

I couldn’t stay. I just couldn’t.

Everything—every ounce of what had just happened, every ounce of what Jackson had just given me—it was too much, too fast, too real.

My skin burned where he had marked me, the bite still sharp, still searing, and it made my head spin.

“I—Jackson, I need to go.” My voice was unsteady, barely a whisper, but it felt like I was shouting it at him.

I had to leave. I couldn’t be here with him, not now.

Jackson looked at me, that expression of worry—guilt, regret, whatever it was—on his face.

His mouth opened like he was going to say something, maybe apologize, maybe beg me to stay. I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t hear it.

“Wait—Noah,” he said, his voice strained, but I was already gathering up my clothes.

I pulled on my jeans, my shirt, not even thinking about whether they were on right or not. I just needed to go. I needed space. I needed air.

“Please,” Jackson said again, but I couldn’t look at him. Not now.

I couldn’t look at him and see that defeated, hurt look on his face. Not when I was barely holding myself together.

I just needed to get out. I needed to clear my head, to figure this out, to fix myself before I destroyed everything.

Shoving my feet into my boots, I fumbled with the laces. Jackson’s voice was soft, pleading, but it was like a distant murmur in my mind.

“Noah, please, I’m sorry... I didn’t?—”

I couldn’t listen to him. I couldn’t hear the apology in his voice when it felt like everything was spinning out of control.

Without another word, I turned and walked out. My hands shook as I closed the door behind me, and I heard him calling my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.

I didn’t even know where I was going, but I knew I couldn’t stay there. I had to go somewhere else, somewhere far away from everything that had just happened.

The car keys in my pocket, I remembered. Without thinking, I climbed into my car and drove.

The road was a blur beneath me, my mind racing, heart pounding, everything inside of me on edge.

I didn’t know what excuse I had given myself, why I thought I could just run from it all.

The only thing I could feel was that mark. That damned mark on my neck, where Jackson had bitten me, claimed me.

My pulse throbbed in time with the mark, and every beat seemed to reverberate through me, shaking me to my core.

It was like a constant reminder of the decision I’d made, the way I’d asked for it in a moment of weakness.

A moment of vulnerability.

I shook my head, trying to focus, but it wasn’t working. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had asked for it. I had asked Jackson to mark me.

Maybe not consciously, but somewhere deep down, my wolf had been desperate to claim him.

Maybe in that moment of weakness, when everything felt raw, when I didn’t know what else to do, my wolf had spoken for me.

We’re mates, my wolf reminded me, its voice deep and calming, like it had always been there. Calm down. Jackson’s the one. You’ve known this forever.

And I had known it. I’d known it for years. But somewhere along the way, I’d buried that truth.

I’d gotten lost in the mess of growing up. I had forgotten. I’d buried the truth so deep that it was easier to deny than to confront.

I drove for what felt like hours, but eventually, I found myself in the woods. I pulled off the road, the trees surrounding me, and I didn’t even hesitate.

I tore off my clothes, my heart still racing, and shifted. The change was painful, but it was familiar, a comfort.

As soon as my paws hit the earth, I was running.

Running like I could outrun everything—like I could outrun the bond, outrun the mark, outrun the fear that had wrapped itself around me.

But no matter how fast I ran, no matter how far I pushed myself, I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t escape Jackson, or what had just happened between us.

Every step, every breath, every heartbeat—it was all a reminder. The mark pulsed on my neck like it was alive, a constant presence.

You’re mates, my wolf said again, more insistent this time. Calm down.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t calm down. Not when everything was so damn overwhelming.

I ran harder. The wind howled through the trees, the forest blurring around me, but it didn’t matter.

Nothing mattered except the feeling of my paws pounding the earth, the feeling of the world falling away as I ran faster and faster.

The exhaustion, the panic—they all faded the longer I ran, the more I let my wolf take over.

But as I kept pushing myself, I started to feel something else. A presence.

A calming energy that flowed through the air like a ripple, like someone was there with me, running beside me.

I slowed for a moment, my senses alert, and I immediately recognized who it was. It was Cooper.

Cooper was running beside me, his pace steady, unhurried. His presence wasn’t intrusive, wasn’t demanding.

It was simply there, like a quiet reassurance. It was like he knew exactly what I needed—no words, no questions.

Just the steady presence of my alpha, running beside me without rushing, without interrupting.

It should’ve been strange to have someone else running with me, but with Cooper, it felt natural. It felt right.

His presence grounded me, steadying me when my thoughts were spiraling.

He never said anything, just kept pace with me, his movements smooth and controlled. We ran together, side by side, like we’d done it a thousand times before.

I didn’t know how long we ran for, but eventually, I started to slow down. My thoughts started to clear, the panic that had clouded my mind beginning to lift.

I felt… calmer. Less afraid. And somewhere in the quiet of the woods, in the stillness of the night, I realized something.

I didn’t regret it. I didn’t regret the mark.

I had asked for it. I had asked Jackson for it, and my wolf had wanted it, needed it.

We’re mates, my wolf reminded me again, its voice calm and knowing. Cooper’s here. You’re safe. Jackson’s the one. Always has been.

And in that moment, I knew my wolf was right. Jackson was the one. Always had been. I glanced over at Cooper, who was still running beside me, his expression serene.

He was the kind of alpha who knew when to push and when to pull back. And right now, he was letting me find my own way, giving me the space to figure this out.

I let out a deep breath, slowing to a walk, and finally came to a stop. The woods were quiet around me, the sound of my breath heavy in the stillness.

I looked down at the ground, my wolf still inside me, still calm, still sure.

Maybe I wasn’t as lost as I thought I was.

Maybe Jackson and I were exactly where we were meant to be.

Cooper and me eventually made our way back to the pack house. My thoughts kept spinning, too fast, too loud.

I was aware of Cooper’s presence beside me, his steady pace, the way he moved with the kind of confidence that came with knowing who he was and where he belonged.

I wasn’t sure where I belonged anymore.

We shifted back into human form before we reached the pack house. The air was colder now, the night settling in, but the warmth of the run still hummed through my veins.

I dressed quickly, not really paying attention to what I was doing, just going through the motions.

When I looked up, Cooper was already waiting for me, his expression thoughtful but calm.

“You want some coffee?” Cooper asked, the quiet offer hanging in the air.

I nodded without thinking. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

We walked inside, and I followed him to his office. The space was warm, inviting in its own way, and I sank into the chair across from his desk without a word.

Cooper made coffee for both of us, his movements steady, almost like a ritual, and then he sat down, leaning back in his chair and giving me that long, knowing look.

“So,” he said, his voice low. “What’s really going on?”

I felt my stomach tighten. I hadn’t meant to spill everything to him, but I knew Cooper.

He wasn’t the kind of alpha who would push me or make me feel uncomfortable. He was patient, waiting for me to open up on my own terms.

And I did. Slowly, carefully, I started talking.

I told him everything—how Jackson had marked me, how I had panicked afterward, how everything had spiraled out of control.

How I’d run, how I’d felt so overwhelmed, but somewhere in the woods, I’d realized that I didn’t regret it.

Jackson was my mate. And even though I’d asked for it, I was still scared.

Cooper listened quietly, nodding occasionally, his gaze never leaving me. When I finished, I took a deep breath, waiting for him to speak.

He studied me for a long moment, his eyes thoughtful, almost like he could see right through me.

“You know, Noah,” he said slowly, “I’ve known for a while now that you and Jackson were mates.”

I blinked, surprised. “What?”

Cooper smiled faintly. “You’re both like open books to me. The way you are around him, the way you’ve been since the summit began—there’s no mistaking it.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words hitting me like a punch to the gut.

“I’m not sure what to do with it all, Coop,” I confessed, my voice raw. “It feels like everything’s happening too fast. I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

Cooper leaned forward, his elbows on the desk, his gaze steady.

“You need to sit down with Jackson and talk. Figure out where you both stand, where you want to go from here. What this means,” he said.

I nodded, the knot in my stomach tightening.

“I know. I know I have to talk to him. It’s just... everything feels so up in the air. I don’t even know where we go from here,” I admitted.

Cooper studied me carefully. “Have you two decided who’s going where? Who will move where?”

I froze. The question hit me like a sledgehammer.

“I don’t know,” I said finally. “I mean, I know it’s inevitable. One of us has to move eventually. But I haven’t really thought deeply about it.”

Cooper nodded. “It’s something you need to discuss. You need to decide where you’re going to build your future.”

I stared at the desk, my fingers pressing against the wood. The idea of leaving Pecan Pines—leaving my pack—was daunting.

But at the same time, the thought of leaving Jackson, of not being with him, was even more terrifying.

“Jackson’s pack is still kind of up in the air,” I said slowly. “I don’t know what’s going on with the succession there. But I don’t want to force him to leave everything behind.”

I thought more on my predicament. Cooper didn’t interrupt, didn’t speak. He let me work it all out.

“If Jackson decides to stay, I’ll move to his pack. No question. I love him that much,” I told him.

Cooper’s expression softened, his gaze warm. “I know you do, Noah. And I know you’ll make the right decision. But you have to be sure, both of you. You need to make sure you’re both on the same page.”

I nodded again, my mind racing. “I will. I will talk to him. We’ll figure it out.”

Cooper gave me a gentle smile and stood up. “Good. And you might want to talk to Griffin too. He’s your brother, and he’s going to want to know what’s going on.”

I froze. Griffin. I hadn’t even thought about him. He needed to know, whatever Jackson and I decided. But I wasn’t sure how to tell him.

What if he didn’t approve? What if he thought I was rushing things?

“I... yeah,” I muttered, my mind whirling. “I need to talk to him too.”

Cooper walked over to the door, his hand on the handle. “You’ll be fine, Noah. You’ve got this.”

I didn’t feel fine. Not yet. But Cooper was right. I had to talk to Griffin. I had to talk to Jackson. We had to figure this out together.

“Thanks, Coop,” I said quietly. “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Anytime.” He gave me a nod and left the office, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I pulled out my phone, my fingers shaking as I typed a message to Griffin.

Noah: We need to talk. I’ll be home soon.

Then, I texted Jackson. The words came easier, but still felt heavy.

Noah: I’m fine. We’ll talk soon. I promise.

I set my phone down, staring at the screen for a moment before closing my eyes. It wasn’t going to be easy. Nothing about this was going to be easy.