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Othoni

My heart dropped into my stomach and then launched itself into my chest as Teddy knelt with his elbows on the window seat as if he took the position before me every day. My heart thudded against my ribs as if it would launch itself out and carve its way inside of his chest just to be next to his.

“Be calm. We are cats. This is what we do. We’re chill. We’re always chill.”

Teddy was gorgeous leaning there, looking out over the garden. I almost got caught up on how much someone could see if they walked past before I remembered the brochure bragged about the privacy magic cast on every window in the guest rooms.

“You smell so relaxed,”

I managed to say over my thumping heart.

“I am. You might scratch up my back but you’re not going to stab me,”

Teddy chuckled.

When I didn’t answer he glanced at me over his shoulder and asked, “Are we doing this today?”

I was rooted to the spot. Despite the candles, despite my hard dick and gushing omega hole, I couldn’t move. So I rambled to buy time.

“So in this order?”

I asked, feeling dumber with each word I said.

“We can go the other way around if you want but I don’t usually orgasm from penetration, and you seem to. Since I need you to go first this order just makes the most sense, right?”

“What if I cum inside you?”

I said, avoiding his eyes.

“Well, then you had a really good time, huh?”

he chuckled. “I’ll just have to make you hard again before I take my bite. Don’t over think it. Sex is supposed to be fun. I get that opening the link is this big spiritual experience for a lot of people but that doesn’t mean it has to be stuffy. I think we get really in our heads about what we’d do as souls when the first thing we decided as souls was basically that we’d fuck the memories back into our partners.”

I laughed and some of the tension fled my shoulders. Finally able to move, I rounded the bed to the nightstand where Teddy said he kept the lube.

“You have lube,”

I said, opening the drawer and seeing it there.

“Yeah. Never travel without it.”

“You haven’t with anyone else in the room, right?”

“Haven’t fucked?”

Teddy asked and I blushed again.

“Right.”

“I haven’t,”

Teddy shook his head. “That’s something I’d have told you because you seem like the type of guy it would matter to and I don’t want something as silly as that hanging over our relationship, mate.”

I bit my tongue. Now wasn’t the time for my insecurities to yowl at the top of their lungs but they were trying to.

“You okay?”

Teddy asked, smelling the change in my thoughts. “Do you need to talk more?”

“For the love of the ancestors! He’s on his knees! Stop this nonsense and fuck him!”

my jaguar screeched into my thoughts.

“Is that okay?”

I asked, holding the lube and shutting the drawer with my thigh.

“Of course,”

Teddy turned around and sat on the floor. He patted the spot next to him and I left the lube behind on the bed to join him. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not certain of.”

“It’s so stupid,” I said.

“You’re going to have to explain the thought process behind that sentence, mate,”

Teddy said, taking my hand in his.

“That now is the time all this comes to mind.”

“Brains are assholes. What’s yours up to?”

“You’re not going to get bored of me, right? The historical sex life thing doesn’t bother me on a purity or chastity level but what if I’m boring in the bedroom or in life? What if we disagree on something fundamental like my parents did and end up apart?”

“I think we have an advantage over a lot of the people your parents’ age,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“We can talk it out. Look at us. Moving our mouths and making sounds about our emotions and worries.”

I laughed and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I didn’t hook up with people because I was bored. I hooked up because I wanted to feel something or liked how I felt when I was around them. Sometimes because it felt good. And I can safely say you make me feel a lot of things. Maybe more good things in the last few days than I’ve felt in a long time. I also enjoy being around you and what we’ve done. Not just in the bedroom, though. I know a lot of people think this sort of communication and great sex doesn’t go hand-in-hand but it does. Communication is key in kink. I think it should be key in a lot of other things too but I think kink when done properly teaches communication skills. Also, I’m the sort of guy who is always going to over feel everything. So, knowing what’s going on inside your head helps me too.”

“Even when it’s irrational?”

I asked, not looking up at him.

“Especially then. I can’t soothe out all the rough edges if you don’t show them to me, mate,”

he grinned and stole a kiss. “Though, I don’t think needing to be reassured I’m in this for the long haul is irrational before exchanging the claiming vows. It’s not just yourself you’re thinking of. It’s future kids and the future of your pard. It’s the little jaguar cubs running around right now back home. I get it and I want to be a part of that. I want to be in your life and let you into all the corners of mine too.”

“I’d go to space for you,”

I whispered.

“Space isn’t that far away now that the Starscales are connected via the Other World gateways and if we find a reason to be on a shuttle, I’ll hold you the whole time we’re on it.”

“Shuttle? Between the worlds?” I asked.

“Yeah,”

he nodded. “It’s pretty cool the first few times and then you get used to it.”

“The purple district, right? The hookup place?”

“It’s more of a party place. Not just sex but drinking, dancing, and socializing too.”

“If we visit, would you take me there? Would that be too weird? Like your old boyfriends seeing me?”

“I think some of my old playdates would love to meet you. I’m still decent friends with a few of them,”

Teddy said. “If our being together makes them uncomfortable, that’s on them. What about you? Are we going to cross paths with your exes?”

“Unlikely. I never hooked up close to home or with any of the bears,”

I shook my head. “I did it mostly to make sure I knew what I was doing but I guess I was half-assed about it.”

“Eh, virginity is an overrated concept. It was just used to apply value to some groups of people and as a means of measuring ownership. I don’t want to own you. I don’t think your parents did either and tough shit if they did. It’s okay to be nervous your first time but don’t get all wrapped up about being a virgin this way or that way. Sex isn’t about conquering.”

“I don’t know,”

I teased him. “After you ‘distracted’ me I felt pretty damn conquered but in a good way.”

“Nah, I didn’t strip away your freewill. Turning you into a puddle of goo doesn’t mean you were conquered. It means you just lost a few brain cells to pleasure. I mean you’re mine but not in the way I’m going to brand your ass.”

“I think I may be the one who is more violently territorial,”

I chuckled, and my cat licked his toe beans as if he didn’t know what we were talking about.

“Well, if I thought my dad wanted to chase you off, I might knock someone over too. I don’t think that’s territorial.”

“Well, what if I said I’d disembowel anyone who tried to touch you now?”

I looked up at him.

“I’d say that could get messy,”

Teddy shrugged. “I mean, I don’t mind messy.”

He fell quiet for a second. “Is this why you asked if I’d get bored of only being with you?”

“Sort of. Maybe. I don’t know,”

I sighed. “Maybe it is. I don’t want to feel crazy all the time.”

“I don’t know which true-mates you’ve watched do that to each other but I’m not that guy. I’m not the guy who’s going to run around on you. I know my parents had an open relationship for a while and a lot of people still like to say he ran around on her but he didn’t. But just because they wanted that doesn’t mean I do, Othoni.”

“I’m not saying that… I hate my brain,”

I sighed. “I think it’s totally killed tonight, huh?”

“I don’t think it has. If you’re not in the mood now, that’s okay. It’s not like we’re on a timer, mate. Honestly, I’d rather talk about it now than land in your head and discover all of the sudden you’re worried that I’m going to run around for whatever reason.”

“It’s not that I think you want too much or that you want to run around. Haven’t you for a moment ever wondered if you were enough?”

I asked him.

“Yeah,”

he nodded. “So many times. Then other times I knew I wasn’t enough or at least I knew I wasn’t right for what was going on. Not only with lovers and playmates either. Only, Othoni, you are enough. As ridiculous as it sounds, I think you saved me from my own bullshit. I can’t tell you the last time I haven’t been angry before I met you and it started even before Dern shot me. Mum has been dead for decades now. I was okay until Nelum came. Then I was angry and everything kept changing. I ran out of spaces to belong. It was like I was too much everywhere -except for the purple district. There everyone was a whole fucking lot. That got old, though. I let myself fall when I shouldn’t have. I should shut up now. I’m going to have your jaguar hunting someone down,”

Teddy laughed.

“Don’t. Don’t do that. I’m sorry it didn’t work out better for you. I know that sounds so fake but I am. I don’t like the idea that anything ever hurt you, Teddy. I know people meet true-mates and relationships end but I hate that it happened to you. We should all be born with true-mate tracking that kicks in when we have our first heat or our first rut. Really, we should.”

“I’ll write a letter to the Commissioner of True-Mates,”

he chuckled and leaned in to steal a kiss.

“Is that a real job?”

I asked in between kisses.

He shook his head and kissed me again. I lost myself to his soft mouth and let go of my worries. Every relationship had its fair share of issues, and I was sure ours would too. They probably wouldn’t be the ones I worried about. It was never the problems you saw coming that swatted at your balls while you took a nap.

Teddy ran his hand up and down my thigh, caressing it, as our tongues danced together. I shifted closer to him and more slick arousal gushed around my omegahole. I guess my brain hadn’t ruined the mood after all.