Page 96 of No More Words

Panic, electric and hot, singes his veins. “To the cops? No way.” He surges to his feet and weaves, light-headed. He slaps a hand on the wall. They start digging into the St.John case, they might see Dwight’s death wasn’t an accident. What if the driver of one of those cars that passed on the road remembers his truck? What if traffic cameras caught him following Dwight’s car? Lucas won’t spend another night behind bars if his life depends on it.

He needs a beer. And he needs to get the fuck out of here.

He also needs to get Olivia out of his face before she realizes what he did.

Olivia gets up. “Mom admitted it. Dad killed him. She confessed that she lied about being his alibi. Lily overheard them talking. She got scared and she ran.” She hugs her stomach and leans over. “I can’t believe he’s a murderer. I feel so sick.”

Lucas thinks of his old man picking up women at the bar. The way he fought back in the hotel room. No, he’s not the man Olivia knew him to be. He’s a mean sonovabitch. Lucas has known that for years.

He then thinks of the blank spot in his head. The two-hour time gap riding his ass like a nagging girlfriend.

“No cops.”

She grips his hand. “You’ve got a thing against them. I get that. But shouldn’t we do something?”

“It’s a thirty-year-old murder case. Let it lie.”

“But I’m worried about Mom. And what about Jean St.John? Don’t you think she’d want to know?”

“No!” He bellows louder than he intended. Screw the beer. He’s leaving.

Olivia puts a hand on his chest. “What’s your problem?” His eyes dodge hers. “Lucas?”

His shoulders ripple with tension.

“No.” She backs up a step, shaking her head. He doesn’t meet her eyes. Hers drop to his hands and he sees her swallow hard. His knuckles are chewed up. “What did you do? Where’s Dad? Why isn’t he coming home?”

“I said leave it.”

“What did you do?” she cries. “Please tell me. I have to know. Are you in trouble? Let me help you.”

“I don’t know.” He fends off her hands and the faucet turns back on. “I don’t know, I don’t know.” He covers his face and groans into his hands like a wounded animal. “Don’t ask me. Please don’t ask.”

“Lucas.” He can hear the tears in her voice.

He removes his hands from his face and stares at them as if they belong to someone else. Fingers curled clawlike, his hands shake.

Olivia’s eyes leap to his. “Your face. Is Dad—” She stops, choking on her words. “I can’t say it,” she whispers, pulling at her hair. She walks a tight circle. “Oh, my god. This family.” She hugs her chest andbends over like she’s trying to crawl into herself. An agonizing wail slips through her lips and almost shatters his broken bits.

She loved Dwight so much. The truth about him is hitting her hard. She only saw the good in him, an unrealistic perspective given the monster he’s turned out to be. Olivia was the old man’s favorite.

He cups his hand beside her head, afraid to touch her, unsure how to comfort her or if he can. “I’ll handle this. Just ... stay out of it.”

She hugs him fiercely. Her cheeks glisten with tears. “Do. Not. Get caught. I can’t lose you, too. Not after Lily.”

Her face falls. Too late. She lost him already. He faded away seventeen years ago. But of their own volition, his arms draw around her. He gives himself over to this moment to be her little brother. To let her love for him soak in.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whines into his shirt.

“Yes, you do. Be there for Josh. He needs you. Lily needs you to watch over him.”

“What about Mom?”

“I’ll stay with her.”

She shakes her head and steps from his embrace. “No, that’s okay. I have to get back to Josh. I’ll take her with me. She shouldn’t be alone.”

If he had any sense of self-preservation, he’d tell her he shouldn’t be alone tonight either. “Go pack her things. I’ll help her to your car.”