Page 16 of Nix and Tell (The Arun Nixes #1)

16

Violet

I t’s been quite some time since I thought about my ex, and it’s not something I wish to dwell on whilst on a date with Chlo.

She looks concerned, as if she’s on the verge of triggering a PTSD response. I’ve done enough therapy that she’s probably safe from that, unless she actually loses her temper and yells at me. But everything she’s said tells me that she’s aware of the impact on other people, and that she mitigates it as far as possible. I think that’s all anyone can really do.

We all mess up sometimes; it’s about learning from that, and not to do it again.

Even so, it makes me realise quite how much I appreciate her, appreciate this. I spent so much time being told that I had to be a sub because ‘bottoms can’t be Dommes’, that I thought it was true. But sex and kink never look the same for every person, much as each individual needs and wants different things from a scene.

I want pleasure, but I also want to look after someone. Guiding Chlo through sex together the previous night brought me so much joy. Her submission is a gift, even as it ties me up with a beautiful bow. I’d never let anyone hurt her, the way I’d been hurt.

I’m struck by the fierceness of my emotions.

Pulling her down to kiss me, I swallow her concerns and kiss away her worries. I’ve got her and she’s got me.

It’s warm, for March, and she doesn’t protest as I push her jacket from her shoulders, and she bares her neck for me, without me having to utter a single word.

“Do you want me to kiss you here?” I ask.

Chlo makes a noise that’s half yes, half frustration.

“Come on,” I tease. “Use your words.”

She glowers at me, and I see the grumpy, gruff exterior that I’ve been so used to. “Do I have to?”

“How will I know what you want, if you don’t tell me?”

She rolls her eyes, but she’s not annoyed; it’s all in play, and the joy that runs through me is one of pure happiness. I like that we can laugh and tease, all whilst turning each other on.

Her voice drops, and I have to lean forward to catch her words. “Mark me?”

“Pardon?”

“ Mark me. ”

I’m about to tease her some more, when I see the naked longing on her face. I whisper my answer against her ear, and she shudders with each word. “If I mark you, Chlo, then you’re mine.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

She looks at me then, matching my fierceness with her own. “I’m yours, and you are mine. Mark me, Violet. Mark me so the whole world knows that I belong with you.”

I stroke her neck with my fingers, and her head falls back, her breath coming in short, sharp bursts. Leaning forward, I nuzzle and then dart my tongue across her skin, and huff my delight when she shudders. And then I bite, sucking at her skin, enticing the softest of moans from my Chlo, as she goes limp in my arms.

When I move back, the skin is red and raised, and she presses her fingers to it in something like wonderment. “Vi… I…” She kisses me, impetuously, and we fall back against the picnic blanket, kissing and stroking and curling up with each other.

This isn’t about sex, though it’s certainly sensual; it’s about us truly seeing each other.

We’ve been friends, from the moment we met, but this? This is something else entirely and I don’t think that I can let her go.

“You marked me,” she says, eyes shining. “You claimed me.”

“Thank you for letting me,” I say, but she isn’t finished speaking.

“No one’s ever really wanted to belong with me like that before. I spend too much time with mortals for nixes to really like or understand me; and I’m so standoffish that mortals always somehow sense that there’s something that’s not quite right. But you…” Her eyes well up, and I pull her close to me again. I can’t bear to see her cry. “You see me.”

“I see you,” I repeat, and kiss her as gently as I know how.

“And you want me.”

I waggle my eyebrows at her and she chuckles. “This is not how I thought I’d be spending my Sunday.”

“Me neither, but I’m so happy.”