Page 29 of Nikki Sinatra: For Her Lover

It was the grunting that kept them going.

They were in bed. Their home was so silent that only the sound of their boxspring singing with their every gyration and their grunts and groans filled the space.

Teddy was on top, and he was pumping hard.

It wasn’t fast, but it was deep. And the deeper he went inside of Nikki the longer they stayed on the verge.

It was the best way for both of them. Because it was more than stress relief.

It was a re-establishment of their love.

Because in that moment their relationship had issues.

Serious issues. And Teddy was still seriously pissed.

Secrets and lies kept floating through his head as he looked at Nikki’s beautiful face, and as he made love to her full-figured body.

The first time he made love to Nikki was the moment that transformed him.

He thought all those skinny model types he dated was where it was at.

He thought they were the aspiration. But Nikki’s body fit him like a glove. It was as if she was made for him.

He looked down at her sizeable breasts. Made love to them again.

And then kissed her hard on the lips. When Nikki opened her golden-brown, amber-like eyes that had that natural sexy droopiness he loved, he almost teared-up.

And he wrapped her even tighter into his arms, closed his own eyes, and continued working it out.

Nikki knew Teddy was upset with her secrecy.

She knew her way of handling her past wasn’t the best way.

But she never dreamed she’d ever see Emilio or even Juda again.

Juda should have been her wakeup call. She should have told Teddy about her past when he first came to town.

It wouldn’t have been easier. Teddy would have still been pissed.

But he would have been able to handle Emilio’s arrival better.

That was the part she was disappointed about.

But she knew he was also pissed about the fact that she never told him about her offshore accounts.

That she kept that secret from him. She regretted not telling him about her past. She didn’t regret her offshore accounts, which Teddy would have found out about anyway should something happen to her: each family member was required to have a safe deposit box, in their code name, that contained that kind of information.

But Teddy felt so wonderful inside of her that she, like him, was able to cast all of that aside and experience the fulfillment of what he was doing to her. They had been going at it for a long time. Longer than their usual long times. And she was loving every second of it.

And so was Teddy. So much so that they both came in a thunderous cum.

So much so that they kept going, he couldn’t pull out, until they were on the verge again. And then they came again. It was Nikki and then Teddy the first time. It was both of them together that second time.

By the time Teddy eased out of her, moved off of her, and laid on his back, they were both so full that they felt empty.

Because as soon as all those wonderful feelings of love subsided inside of them, reality walloped them.

Secrets and lies, Teddy thought again as soon as it was over.

And when Nikki turned on her side and looked at his face, she saw the anger, the disappointment, right back front and center again.

“You don’t like secrets,” Nikki said to him.

“And you know that,” he responded to her.

“I don’t like’em either, Teddy. I didn’t do that lightly. I was ashamed of my past. I was ashamed that I wasn’t smarter back then. But I wasn’t.”

“And you think I would have held that against you?” He looked to his side at her. “You was a kid, Nikki. You think I would be that coldhearted?”

“I didn’t want that narrative on me. It’s tough enough getting you and your father to accept me as the underboss without that narrative riding with me.

If I would have told you about my past, and how I gave in to Emilio like that, you would have taken me down, Teddy.

You would lose just a little respect for me. ”

“No I would not have.”

“Yes you would have.”

Nikki’s face looked so sincere that Teddy knew she truly believed that. “So you think I’ve lost some respect for you?”

“Look at what Mr. Sinatra did. As soon as he got angry enough, he threw it in my face. I was a drug mule for my lover, he yelled out. Like that shit didn’t hurt. He already lost some respect for me.”

“Number one, that’s not true. Pop even said he respected what you did.”

“Not about Emilio.”

“But he still respects you, Nikki, and he always will. Hell, he respects you more than he respects me. I’ve been trying to earn his full respect my whole life and you got it in full effect just by being who you are. And you’re still that person. Pop loves you too much not to respect you.”

Then he exhaled. “And number two,” he said, “I’m not Pop. I will stand by you no matter what, Nikki.”

She placed her hand on the side of his rugged face. “I know you will.”

“Then why didn’t you act like it? Why didn’t you tell me about Emilio and what happened with those children? You didn’t have to keep all that shit inside of you, dealing with it all by yourself. You could have told me when we first met.”

Nikki closed her eyes and shook her head.

“No I couldn’t have, Teddy. Don’t you understand that?

We barely knew each other when you helped me out of that horrible situation in California.

I killed my landlord when he tried to rape me.

I called my own father and he told me to go to hell.

I barely knew you and you came to my rescue. ”

“Just like you helped me when Roz was attacked. You came to my rescue at that hospital.”

Nikki dismissed that. “That was nothing,” she said.

“That was just being a good citizen. But you got on your plane and flew a thousand miles to my rescue. I could have gone to prison for life if it wasn’t for you.

You already showed me what you was made of.

And I wanted you with all my heart. I needed somebody like you.

I’d never had that before. And you expected me to tell you, ‘oh by the way I had this drug-dealing boyfriend who made me his drug mule and I took the drugs of a South American cartel worth millions of dollars on the streets and trashed it all and took off.’ Thinking about nobody but myself.

And then all those children were killed because of my action.

All those innocent children dead because of me.

It took me years to come out of that fog.

Years, Teddy! I couldn’t go back there.

I wasn’t going to do anything to risk losing you and I guarantee you would have ran from me if I would have told you all of that.

I would have been trouble with a capital T and you would have ran!

I couldn’t risk that. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t. ”

Teddy stared up at the ceiling. “I understand that. I do.” Then he looked at her. “But I’ll never understand how you could have these offshore accounts and keep them a secret from me too. What did you think I was going to do? Steal your money?”

“Okay now that’s not fair. You know I would have never thought anything like that. You have more money than I can ever put in any account for the rest of my life and you know it. It was never about that.”

“Then what the fuck was it about?” Teddy’s face was filled with puzzlement.

“It’s about me running away from Miami when I trashed those drugs.

I had nothing but the clothes on my back.

I was homeless for a period of time. And whatever jobs I got from Phoenix to L.A.

to Beverly Hills, I never made enough money to get by.

Hunger scares you. Not being able to pay your bills is chilling.

I had to have something separate and apart from everybody else.

Something that could sustain me and my baby if you and your family didn’t want me anymore. ”

“Nikki, we wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I knew it wasn’t the best thing to do in your eyes, because you’ve never known hunger in your life.

Even when Mr. Sinatra was an absent father, he still kept your mother in big houses and pearls.

His children might not have had his time, but he made sure they didn’t lack for money or any material need.

My adult life was just the opposite. I had to figure out a way to fend for myself.

I couldn’t even call my mother when I was on the run.

My parents knew nothing about Emilio and what I was up to.

Financial uncertainty changes you. It’s a scary place to be.

Once I got on my feet, I vowed to never put myself in that position ever again. ”

Teddy turned onto his side. He could feel her pain.

“Then when Kimmie was born,” she said and then shook her head.

“When Kimmie was born,” she said again, “I doubled down on that pledge. And I will continue to double down on that pledge. I have to have financial independence, Teddy. I have to.” Then there was a plea in her voice.

“Can you understand that?” she asked him as she searched his face for some kind of clue.

Teddy stared at her and placed his hand on the side of her face. Then he nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I can understand it.” Then he leaned in and began kissing her. His phone started ringing, but he didn’t stop kissing her until she began returning his kiss. Until he felt she believed him.

Then he reached over and grabbed his phone. When he saw it was their acting cargo supervisor, he put the call on Speaker. “Why are you calling me instead of Nikki?”

“This is bigger than Nikki, sir. Ship number five just exploded. It just exploded!”

Teddy and Nikki both jumped out of bed. “When?” Teddy said as they began putting back on their discarded clothing.

“Just now. It started below deck so we’re able to contain it there, but it did massive damage to our cargo sir.”

“We’re on our way,” Teddy said and tossed the phone on the bed. He looked at Nikki. “One day,” he said, “you’re going to be the first call they make like it’s supposed to be.”

Nikki doubted that. Those men would never accept a woman as their boss no matter what she did for them or for the organization. But at least Teddy knew what they were about. “Let’s just try to contain the damage,” she said, “before it gets out of hand.”

And they dressed quickly, and took off.