Page 72 of Nightshades

Every flake holds the same screams that I heard throughout his life.

“Mom! Come back, Mom. Come back. He is gone. He won’t hurt us anymore. He’s gone. Please.” Shade clutches onto her shirt, dragging her closer to his chest, embracing the one person who loved him more than anything in this world. “Mommy,” his voice breaks. “Please, come back.” He tries shaking her again, even going as far as to place his ear next to her mouth to hear for any signs of life.

“No.” He continues to be in denial, placing her on the ground gently. “No!” His hands lie over one another and begincompressions. “Come on, Mom. Come on. Don’t let him win. Don’t let him win!” he screams so loud, his voice echoes through the air.

Even with his attempts, she lies motionless.

“Mommy. Not my mommy.” The young voice of a child is back as he clutches onto her for dear life.

He holds her dead body, sobbing into her neck, and I cry with him, wishing I could help.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. Please, come back to me. I can’t do this without you. I can’t face the world without you. I can’t face this nightmare alone.”

The pounding of boots has me turn my head, my vision blurry from the tears, when I see very large men with black cuts on running through the house. Their cuts say ‘Shallow Sinners’ and the one that has the ‘Prez’ patch, kneels by Shade.

“Oh, shit,” one of them says.

“Damn. We’re too late,” another echoes their disappointment.

“Hey, Kid. Your neighbor called us and said they heard fighting over here again. We came as soon as possible.” He presses his hand against his chest. “I’m Ryker. My friends call me Prez, though. Who are you?”

Shade doesn’t say anything. He only continues to silently cry while holding his mother.

“Can you tell me what happened? The neighbor said your dad wasn’t a very nice man. Is that what happened here? You tried to save your mom?”

Shade’s fingers somehow clutch onto her harder, his knuckles turning white. When he blinks, a fresh wave of tears breaks free.

“Tell you what, we will take care of his body, and we will give your mom a nice funeral on our property if you want. You can stay with us, and you’ll be able to visit her anytime.”

“Mom,” Shade’s voice breaks, eyes pinching shut as he buries his face into her neck, and sobs.

His shoulders shake, his sobs become roars, he cries until he can’t breathe, and Ryker wraps his massive arms around Shade and his mother.

“I know, Kid. I know. Let it all out. You’re safe now.”

All Shade has known is trauma his entire life. As a child, as a teen, and then as a man, when he was turned into a monster.

These dreams I was forced to see weren’t dreams at all.

They were nightmares.

And they all belonged to Shade.

I step out from the silhouette of the trees, confused as to what I’m seeing. The snow crunches with every step, my deep, rushed breaths causing my shoulders to rise and fall.

Anger spreads through my chest like a hot blaze, my green skin darkening from the flush. Lula isn’t supposed to see this. She isn’t supposed to be here! No one was supposed to see into the most shadowed corners of my mind. I have locked these memories deep within my mind. I don’t even dare to go where they can be opened.

They sadden me.

“What are you doing here?” I growl at her, staring at the small, weak version of myself clutching my mother. “You aren’t supposed to see this!” The memory fades away, leaving us standing in the backyard of what used to be my home.

My parents’ blood stains the snow. The broken glass still lies there, reminding me of the fear on my mother’s face when my father pushed her through the sliding door.

I hate this memory. It is the one that shaped me into who I am.

Into what I am.

“I don’t know.” Lula stands, holding snow where my teenage hand used to be. “I saw so much of your childhood.” She lifts her eyes from the bloodied ground, filled with tears.