Page 18 of Night Fae (Monsters of Veridia #3)

The guard led Zev through the Shadow Palace's winding corridors. His limbs felt heavy. Damn Caelen and his ice magic. The slashes on his cheek stung, a small pain compared to the dull ache spreading through his chest.

The guest chamber door swung open. Spacious. Dark sheets on the bed. A window overlooking the nightscape of the Shadow Kingdom. No personal touches.

Zev didn't bother thanking the guard or removing his clothes. He collapsed onto the bed, darkness swallowing him instantly.

Even as he drifted off, though, something tugged at him. Something?—

No.

Not Malik's dreams. Not again.

Zev pushed against the connection, fought it, but his exhaustion won, and his consciousness slid through the barrier between their minds.

Malik stood in a meadow beneath a violet-tinged sky. Not Earth. Not quite Veridia either. The tall grass whispered against his legs, wildflowers releasing a sweet scent that reminded him of summer evenings back home.

There was a lake nearby. Maybe he would go there and sit for a while. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Just to exist for a moment without worries.

Maybe he would nap.

He felt kind of tired.

Why was he so tired?

A prickle on the back of his neck.

Was there someone else here?

Malik turned. There was a figure standing at the meadow's edge. Was that…?

Zev?

Malik's heart beat faster. That was Zev! What was he doing here? And why did he look like that? Oh, right, his glamor had dropped when they'd….

Oh.

Malik's memories of the last few hours came back to him in a rush.

They'd fled the Night Court. They'd jumped into the Shadow Path, and he'd clung to Zev there.

He'd felt so close to the fae, like they were in sync, like he was really just an extension of Zev, and then they'd made it out, and the sensation lingered, and… then Zev had kissed him.

Malik's heart thumped painfully in his chest at that particular memory.

He'd been so overwhelmed he hadn't even cared that Zev's lips were on his only because the night fae was feeding on him.

He would have given Zev anything in that moment.

And then he'd passed out.

So was this a dream?

The lake, the meadow? Zev?

No, Zev might be real. He looked at Malik as if he didn't know how to approach. He kind of looked as if he didn't want to be here, actually.

But then, why was he?

Malik took a few steps toward him. "Is that you?"

Zev's jaw clenched. God, he looked terrible. Beautiful and terrible at once, violet eyes glowing so brightly. Malik had never seen a color so stunning. "I didn't mean to intrude on you here," Zev said.

"I don't mind." Malik shot him a smile. "You can visit my dreams anytime."

"You're only dreaming because I put you in a coma."

Oh. Was that what had happened? Malik worried his lower lip, unsure what to say. "You got us away from the Night Court."

"I lost control." As always, it seemed Zev was not interested in softening the truth or sparing details. "You offered power, and I couldn't resist taking it, even after you passed out. If Knox hadn't pulled me off you, I would have killed you."

That was a scary thought. In retrospect, Malik probably should have tried harder to push Zev off after the shadow paths had spit them back out.

"And I'm in a coma now?" he asked.

That was… not ideal.

But it certainly explained why he felt so tired.

"Caelen's healers are working on you." Zev didn't offer words of comfort, but his expression spoke volumes. He hated what he'd done, hated himself for what he'd done.

That was why his posture went ever more rigid the closer Malik moved toward him.

"Okay, so you nearly killed me," Malik said. "I don't love that, but I don't think you meant to do that."

"That doesn't change what happened."

Malik shook his head, coming to stand just two feet from the night fae. "You had to get us out of the Night Court. I wouldn't have survived there, and neither would you have. I don't blame you for losing your mind in the shadow paths."

Zev, who was usually so good at facing the truth, averted his gaze. "It wasn't the shadow paths that made me lose my mind."

"What was it then?" Malik resisted the urge to reach out and touch the fae warrior, trace his thumb along his jaw and make Zev look at him.

"Something inside of me." Zev's violet gaze flicked to him. "Something inside of me craves the power you give me and…" He paused. "The taste of you. I've never tasted anyone like you."

Heat rushed to Malik's cheeks. The taste of you . Malik desperately wanted those words to mean more than they probably did.

They brought back the memories of Zev's mouth pressed to his.

Twice now the night fae had kissed him.

But neither of those kisses had been romantic.

Malik needed to remember that. Zev didn't like Malik the way Malik liked Zev. But Zev did like the taste of him.

Malik swallowed, trying not to let that thought run away with him. "You can taste me anytime," he found himself saying like the absolute fool he was.

Zev stared at him.

Malik wished he would do more than stare. His heart was beating so fast he thought he might be in danger of passing out if he wasn't already dreaming.

Would he even remember any of this when he woke up?

"Are you an idiot?" Zev asked. "You should be afraid of me."

"I'm not."

Something flashed in Zev's eyes—frustration, confusion, guilt. Maybe all three.

Malik pushed himself to be brave. With another step, he closed the remaining distance between himself and Zev, resting his hand on Zev's cheek. Their gazes locked. Malik's breath caught.

What was he doing?

He'd just wanted to erase that look of guilt from Zev's face.

And now he couldn't backtrack.

"I don't blame you for what happened," he made himself say the words that were on his mind.

"You should."

"No," Malik insisted.

"You don't?—"

"Listen," Malik cut Zev off. "After the accident, I was the one who lived when everyone I loved died. Every day I asked why me? What purpose could possibly justify me surviving when they didn't?"

"What does that have to do with what I did to you?"

"Everything. When I offered you my nightmares, when I let you feed…it was the first time since the accident that my pain served a purpose. " Something lightened in Malik's chest. "Do you understand? My worst memories helped save us both."

Zev raised a hand, fingers closing around Malik's wrist. The contact sent warmth spiraling down Malik's arm even as Zev spoke. "Don't let your pain push you to self-destruction."

Malik grinned. "Look who's talking."

"Your family wouldn't want this for you."

"And what I want doesn't matter?"

Zev lowered Malik's hand. "How could you possibly want me?"

'Me.' How could you possibly want me? Not 'this.' Was Zev even aware of what he'd just asked, how he'd changed the topic?

Malik's mouth went dry. "It's so easy to want you.

" Zev was handsome with his beautiful eyes and his fae features and that rare smile that completely undid Malik whenever it was focused on him, but even beyond the physical, he was honest and loyal to his friends and always trying to do the right thing, even when he struggled to know what the right thing was.

There was nothing fake or inauthentic about Zev.

Malik wanted to be honest too."I know you don't want me," he said. "After everything you've been through recently… After the way you lost the love of your life… I would never hope for anything from you. But if you need anything from me… If there's anything I can do for you, I'm happy to be useful."

There, the words were all out. Everything Malik felt, laid bare.

Zev went still, his expression unreadable as Malik's words hung in the dream-violet air between them.

"Useful," Zev repeated. His eyes darkened. "Is that what you think I want? For you to be useful?"

Malik's heart stuttered.

"You need to stop this." Zev stepped back, severing the connection between them.

"Stop what?"

"Acting like you're disposable. Offering yourself up like some kind of sacrifice."

The intensity in Zev's voice startled Malik. "I didn't mean…"

"I don't want your sacrifice."

The dream meadow darkened around them. A gust of wind picked up and swept through Malik's hair, making him shiver.

Zev's hands curled into fists at his sides. "Do you think I want another person to die because they cared about me?"

The question hit hard. Zev was right; Malik hadn't considered Zev's trauma. Only his own. "I'm not Rhys."

"No," Zev agreed. "You're not."

They regarded each other silently until the sky shifted above them, colors rippling through the darkness. The dream began to fray at the edges. Something tugged at Malik—his physical body registering touch, voices. The healers Zev had mentioned? "I think I'm waking up."

Zev nodded, his form already dissolving, becoming transparent.

Malik wanted to call out to him, to ask if Zev would come see him in the waking world.

But Zev was already gone.