Page 12 of Nico (Members From Money Season 2, #154)

For the first time since seeing her, he was dreading the meeting. It took him almost two days to get in touch with her as he contemplated what to say to her. How to explain that his life had changed drastically.

And to tell her that he could not be in a relationship right now. He was going to have to pause and concentrate on a daughter who had just suddenly appeared in his life.

"Are you all right?" she asked when she brought him a glass of wine. He had suggested meeting her at her place instead of his and was sitting in his car inside her driveway when she arrived.

"How was work?" He forced a smile to his lips and wondered how much a man is expected to endure.

Her scent surrounded him. She had worn a snug cranberry colored sweater dress and teamed it with a chic navy-blue jacket.

And knee-high boots. She had ditched the boots and jacket and loosened the pins in her hair, allowing the thick dark brown strands to tumble free around her face and down her shoulders.

And he wanted to jump her. Wanted it so badly that he could actually taste it.

"Work was work. Your marble bust was tagged by a very wealthy widow with too much money and not enough brain cells."

His thick brows arched as she came to sit next to him. "Are you saying it would only take a silly person to purchase the piece?"

"Mrs. Winthrop is known for her knack of spending an exorbitant amount of money on frivolities. She dresses like a drag queen."

He had to chuckle at that. "That piece took a lot out of me."

"It's butt ugly." She smiled at him over her glass as she took a sip.

"One of my best works."

"Not likely." Her magnificent eyes searched his face and had her wondering what was bothering him. Something clearly was. She had not heard from him all of yesterday and he had called her this afternoon to say that he was dropping by. He had never done that before. The premonition was heightening.

"We received a donation from the Eldridge estate this afternoon.

" If he wanted to wait to tell her what was going on, she was going to oblige.

"Several lost pieces of art from a few famous painters.

And a sculptor or two. Andre is salivating.

In the meantime, I'm going to inventory every piece and decide what to donate to the museum and what to keep.

I think you should have a look at them."

"Perhaps." He sipped his wine and looked away.

"Nico, what's going on?"

It was time and he could not very well do this while seated next to her.

Shoving to his feet, he distanced himself from her and went to stand by the window.

It was almost the end of November and Thanksgiving was a few days away.

He had had plans for them both. Dinner at his place and maybe taking in a movie or strolling through some museums or the other.

Or a night at the opera. Now everything had gone to hell.

He had a daughter.

"This must be really bad."

At the sound of her soft cultured voice, he turned his head to look at her and wished he hadn't.

Her hair was spilling over her left shoulder and her lips rosy from the wine.

She hardly ever wore makeup, but with her skin tone, she didn't really need it.

He studied her features and tried to memorize every line for posterity.

He had tons of sketches of her of course, but it could never compare to the real thing.

"I... We had a visitor yesterday," he began.

"Okay." She was watching him closely.

Lifting a hand to the back of his neck, he rubbed at the tension. "A woman I'd been involved with almost three years ago. Someone I had forgotten of course. I almost did not recall her name when I saw her." He took a gulp of wine. "She had a child with her."

Sadie felt the tension springing to life inside her chest.

"I see."

"The child is mine." He said it baldly and quickly.

"I see."

"She left the child with us. Signed papers stating that Gracie, her name is Gracie, is completely mine. She's married and is moving to Italy, I think. The husband is some rich older guy and does not want children."

"So, she just up and left her child?" Sadie's brows winged up. "Just like that?"

He nodded and considered that a woman like Sadie would never do something like that. "Yes."

"And you had no idea she was pregnant?"

"Of course not." The irritated response reminded her the kind of man he was. His strong sense of responsibility would never allow him to abandon his role as a father.

"Where's she now?"

"At the manor. We decided that it would be best for her to live there. You know how untidy I am."

"You're a slob."

The fact that he did not rise to her teasing told her a lot.

And he avoided her eyes again. "I'm going to have to learn how to be a father," he murmured, staring out the window and noticing absently that it had gotten dark.

And there was a chance of rain. "I'm in the process of getting the place cleaned thoroughly and adding things that a toddler, she's a year and a half.

Things that she would want around her. The arrangement is that she would stay at the manor during the week and I take her on weekends for us to get to know each other.

She's pining for her mother of course, but mine and my sister are doing their best to make it easy for her.

" He shrugged his shoulder jerkily. "I have to be there for her. " He turned then and braced himself.

"We never spoke about children."

Her brows lifted. "No, we didn't."

"Things have changed."

Her heart felt heavy, the beats thudding slowly. "They have. You're now a dad."

"I'm going to have to give her my attention."

She lifted her chin. "Why don't you come right out and say it? I'm a big girl and I can take it."

"I cannot ask you to be part of the... situation."

"No."

His heart shifted and clutched. "So, I think it's best if we take a step back."

So, this was what heartbreak felt like, she thought dully. Outwardly she hoped desperately that she was serene and calm.

"All the way back." She forced a smile to her lips. "You have a daughter to take care of and no time for a relationship. I get it. She comes first."

"Sadie, I don't want..."

She shook her head and realized that she was going to have to get rid of him and fast. She could not stand being in the same space with him.

"It's better that way."

He felt the clutch to his heart. He would not beg. She was right of course. He could not ask her to put her life on hold for him. Neither could he ask her to play mother to his little girl. She had an upheaval in her life and was going to need plenty of reassurances.

His work was demanding and added to it, he was now a father. He had to put his desires on hold. Gracie deserved that much. But oh Hell, it hurt so much! He felt as if his heart was being ripped to shreds.

"Maybe we could..." His voice stuttered to a stop when she rose, a resolute expression on her face.

"You should go." Without looking at him, she swept towards the doorway, leaving him no other choice but to follow her. When he reached her, she had the door open.

"Sadie..."

"No." She shook her head and handed him his coat.

"Dammit!" His temper exploded. Dragging the jacket from her, he tossed it to the floor and hauled her into his arms. "I don't want this.

.." his mouth crushed hers, the kiss bruising.

She shoved at him, but he would not budge.

Shoving the door shut, he clamped his hands on either side of her face and drove his tongue into her mouth.

He was hurting her, but for the first time since they had been seeing each other, he wanted to do exactly that.

She was shutting him out, pretending there was nothing between them.

He would show her. Goddammit, he would show her.

Her legs went weak, her arms falling to her side in helpless surrender.

Tears burned the back of her eyes and heat exploded inside her.

Lifting her arms, she dug restless fingers through the thick untidiness of his hair and sagged against him.

He felt her surrender and softened the kiss.

He inhaled her, her scent surrounded him.

Desire poured through his body like liquid lava, swamping him.

One hand wandered down her back to cup her firm bottom. He eased her up and into him, grinding his lower body, deliberately making her feel his arousal.

A sob rose in her throat, rough and aching.

She tasted the salt of her own tears on his lips, and, for a moment, she let herself drown in the anguish and longing tangled between them.

But as his arms tightened, her heart thudded with the reminder of everything that had changed.

She broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against his, both of them breathless and trembling.

"We can't do this," she whispered. The words hurt, splintering through her chest. "No matter how much we want to pretend nothing's different, it is."

He closed his eyes, jaw working as if he could grind down the ache inside him. For a heartbeat, neither moved, locked together in the ruins of something beautiful, now impossible. Finally, he let his hands fall away, the space between them suddenly wide and cold.

"Goodbye, Sadie." His voice was hoarse, ragged with everything he couldn't say.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and watched as he stooped to snatch up his jacket. She didn't follow him to the door. When it clicked softly shut behind him, she pressed her palm to her mouth and let the tears come.

*****

He got drunk. Shit faced, stinking falling down drunk.

Another first for him. As soon as he stepped into the pool house, he headed for the liquor cabinet and taking out the Jim Beam, he drank straight from the bottle.

Ignoring the burning going down his throat and his empty belly, he drank steadily.