Page 49 of Never Lost

I glanced down. “If the serum works, they will.”

“Oh.” Lemaya swallowed, catching on, her tawny, delicate hands turning ashy as they gripped the envelope. “But I—we won’t know if it’s still transmitting.”

“Assume it is.”

Finally, after a pause, I reached for the Smith & Wesson. Removed the magazine, inspected it, reloaded it. Removed the safety and chambered a round like some kind of tactical expert, as if I hadn’t been shown the same damn thing for the first time an hour or so ago. Cleared it. And now it was Lemaya’s turn to hide her shaking hands as I placed the weapon in front of her.

“But what about you?”

I took a deep breath, having hoped not to be forced to explain that when I’d entered the lab, I’d known there was a good chance I wouldn’t be leaving. “What you have is more important.”

“But will you see Maeve?”

“That’s the plan.” Well, it was the plan if everything went perfectly. And in my life, when didanythinggo perfectly?

“Youwillsee her,” she said. “So please tell her I’m sorry,” she said fiercely, and if there was a tear in her voice, there was nothing on her face. “And—and that I really do love her. And that I hope she can forgive me someday.”

Lemaya’s eyes shot to the window we’d left open for ventilation. Like a shot, she rushed to close it. But she paused. Craned her neck.

“Okay, so I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but?—”

“Ah, fuck. It’s them, isn’t it?”

I quickly closed the window and locked it. “I mean, I don’t know for sure if?—”

“It’s them.”

“I didn’t tell them where we were,” she said in a panicky voice. “You believe me, right?”

I closed my eyes briefly. “Of course I believe you. I knew they’d be here eventually. Look, do you know another way out of here? Other than the main door?”

She nodded. “Come with me. Take the serum. We can?—”

“No.” I shook my head. “They’re coming after me, not you. That’s why you need to escape alone, with that envelope, while I hold them off.”

“But how are you going to do that if—” She bit her lip as if she had an inkling.

If I’m dead, the job will be finished.

Of courseshecouldn’t go until the serum kicked in because my chip, if it came out, would be going with her. That made this tricky, to say the least.

Well. I snatched up the serum. It was oddly beautiful, thick and glistening like honey inside its beaker. I pulled back a syringe needle and carefully measured out a dosage, though determining a safe amount didn’t seem to matter much. The point was to see if it worked. Keeping myself alive was a secondary consideration at best. Not like I wasn’t likely to be dead shortly, anyway, evenwithoutthe serum.

The lab had grown quieter without the hum of the massive computer, and Lemaya watched me, her eyes wide under the harsh fluorescent lights. I was calm until I realized that the syringe was full. Then, suddenly, a cold fear gripped my chest, as heavy as the reaction from earlier.

Breathe.

It might be the last time.

In terms of potential places to get comfortable, there weren’t many options. I settled on a swivel desk chair and rolled it over. There were two general areas where the chips got implanted—in the forearm or between the shoulder blades. Many slaves didn’tknow which one they’d been given. But I had made a point, a few years ago—with the professor’s permission, even—to find out, suspecting it might come in handy someday. Now I unfurled my forearm toward Lemaya, the veins snaking through my scarred tissue like rivers of blood through a bombed-out battlefield. She, of course, didn’t even blink. She bore more than her share.

Trembling, I raised the plunger on the syringe. I knew what needles felt like, of course. Slave children had to get vaccinations just like everyone else. The only difference was that when we didn’t cry, instead of a lollipop, our reward was one less caning that day. Compared to that, a needle prick was nothing much at all.

Odd how that wasn’t very comforting.

“Oh, let me do it,” she said boldly when I hesitated again, grabbing another chair and pulling it up next to me at the steel table. “I’ll probably never be a vet tech now. But I’ve sure watched enough videos.”

I handed it over immediately. And to think I’d been furious when she’d walked in. The idea of trying to do this without her was unfathomable.