Page 37 of Never Dance with the Devils
Kayla’s mouth drops open and for a second, I think I’ve overstepped. I’ve never been particularly good with words and tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, more often than not, so I probably should’ve just stayed quiet. But she says, “Thank you. I think that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.”
Shocked, I run my hand over my mouth, smoothing out the scruff that doesn’t need it in an attempt to hide my grin.Huh, maybe I didn’t say the wrong thing this time.
“Nicer than me calling you hot?” Maddox faux-pouts.
“Just a little nicer,” she tells him, her finger andthumb a skinny inch apart as she tries unsuccessfully to school her face into something closer to seriousness.
As she reaches for her drink again, Maddox gives me a pointed look and a tiny nod of approval. For all his bluster and bro act, he’s smart and good with people. He knows what I’m doing and the fears I’m overcoming to let myself get closer to Kayla. Yeah, I’m not giving her my whole life story, but in asking for hers, I’m taking her in deeper, setting up a cozy little corner in my heart for her to relax in, and hoping that she won’t tear me to shreds from the inside. And that’s a big concession for me.
I raise my beer bottle. “To Kayla, closing deals despite the doubters and showing up for scotch on shitty days.”
“And sex,” Maddox adds, his bottle clinking against mine. “Don’t forget to fuck the day away too.” He winks at both of us, lightening the mood while reminding me of our agreement to not scare her off.
“Carpe dickemmight be my new motto,” Kayla teases, grinning as her glass touches ours, and then we all drink. Setting her glass back on the deck, she sinks deeper into the water. “This is just what I needed,” she says with a happy sigh, her eyes fluttering closed.
“A hot tub?” I ask. “We’ve got a guy. He did the whole pool.” I glance toward the cooler water.
Maddox splashes me, his eyes shouting to shut the fuck up. “What he meant to say is, come use us… I meanours, anytime you want.”
Kayla laughs, her eyes still closed. “I don’t think the condo board would let me put a private hot tub on my balcony. Rules and restrictions,” she scoffs jokingly. “Besides, I like this… with you two. It feels…” Her voice trails off and in sync, Maddox and I shift closer to her. I’m not sure what he’s doing beneath the water, but my hand is tiptoeing up Kayla’s thigh.
His mouth beside her ear, Maddox asks, “Feels what?”
Her eyes open slowly, cutting left then right. “The hot tub is great and all, but I know for a fact it’s the company that had me coming out here tonight.”
I knew that, obviously. It’s still a big confession for a woman like Kayla to admit so plainly that she wants me and Maddox, especially when she’s clear-headed and focused, not lust-drunk.
“You wanted us?” I say gruffly, wanting to hear it again. No, I need to hear her say it again.
I’m well-aware that I have a fear of rejection built into my DNA now. Eliza would play these games, pulling me back in, only to push me away when I didn’t meet some imaginary standard I didn’t know existed. When I got my head clear, I could see that she was manipulating me, and nothing I could’ve offered her would’ve been enough. But she was really good at making me doubt myself, and no matter how badly I wish I didn’t have these whispers in my mind that remind me I’m not worthy of love, they’re there, so Kayla saying she wants us… wantsme… feels dangerously seductive. I want to trust her. I want… to be wanted. But it’s hard to believe.
Her eyes find mine, like she heard the gravity of my question and can feel the weight with which I’m asking. She licks her lips and nods slowly. “I could’ve gone home, where I have a big soaking tub, or to the gym, where there’s a hot tub the size of your dining room. ButI’m here. For you. I came because I knew I could relax here.”
There’s a long moment where my eyes and Kayla’s stay locked. I want to say something, maybe tell her how much that means to me, but the words get choked in my throat. I can feel Maddox’s gaze on us too, probably deciding whether he needs to step in before I fuck things up.
“Is relaxing what you want?” Maddox asks quietly, pressing a kiss to Kayla’s jaw. “Or is there more?” She gasps, her thigh pressing against mine, and I realize that he’s beat me on the trek up her thigh to her pussy. Not that it’s a race, but if it were, he’s already across the finish line. She moans, her eyes falling closed again. “Why’d you really come here tonight?”
His voice has gone dark, the question demanding. I don’t know why Maddox is pushing her. He’s usually the one who keeps things playful, and I’m the one asking the too-deep questions and assigning meaning where there’s none. But the water’s moving and his biceps are flexing with how hard he’s finger-fucking her beneath the surface. Above, he’s going even harder. “Why, Kayla?”
Is he trying to make her admit she came to get fucked? I mean, it’s pretty obvious, so I don’t know why he’s making a sudden power play.
“Because I knew that I could just… be me.”
I don’t think any of us expected those words to come out of her mouth. Shock jolts down my spine, Maddox’s lips lift in a surprised smile, and Kayla immediately bites down on her bottom lip like she didn’t mean to say that or maybe wishes she could take it back.
But she can’t. It’s the truth.She knows it, and so do we.
Some people need places they can wear different masks or costumes, like they’re trying on personas and façades for fun or to see what fits best. Kayla is the opposite. She puts on an aura of aloofness every day, as a way to protect herself from others’ judgments and preconceived ideas about who she is or isn’t. For her, somewhere to not pretend, where she’s able to simply be herself, is the most tantalizing comfort we can offer her.
“What does that mean for you?” he asks. She shakes her head, not answering.
Maddox has slowed down, the water no longer rippling with his movements, and she whines for him to give her more, shifting her hips to fuck herself on his fingers and get the release she wants.
“Tell him,” I say encouragingly. “Tell us.”
A whole-body shiver works through her, like she’s hanging on to the edge, and I think that’s what prompts her to admit, “No games. No strategy. Just real. Just… easy.”
She thinksthisis easy? How fucking hard has her life been? Because what we’re doing, blending three personalities, histories, needs, wants, and lives is gonna be rough. But with her? I can’t wait for all of it, especially the no-games part. Other than hockey, I refuse to play games. I can’t do that to my heart again.