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brody

Gabe wanted to leave the bar as soon as we finished our second round. No one else was ready to call it a night, and some of the guys tried to talk me into staying, but there was no way that would happen. Larissa’s bold advances had caught me completely off guard, and all I wanted to do was to get out of there and be with my man.

My man. The phrase echoed in my head, and my chest tightened. Did Gabe see me that way? We’d never had the conversation, and uncertainty gnawed at me. I wanted to believe we were exclusive—that the kisses, the touches, the stolen moments between us meant as much to him as they did to me. Still, we hadn’t put a label on it, and until that happened, I was left guessing.

Sitting there talking to Larissa had been excruciating. I’d smiled and nodded like a good sport, pretending to care about whatever she was saying. Flirting with someone when you are totally uninterested is one of the hardest things to do. In another time, another life, I might have been into her. With glossy dark hair, piercing eyes, and easy confidence, she was exactly the type I’d gone for in the past. But not now, when my head was full of Gabe and my heart was following.

Gabe’s chair had creaked while I talked to her, and my stomach had dropped at the thought of him getting up. Was he going to the bar? Dancing with someone? The idea of him in someone else’s orbit stung more than it should. I felt like I couldn’t turn around to check, though. We’d agreed to keep things quiet with the team, and caring about what my “buddy” was doing while a gorgeous woman was broadcasting that she was DTF would have raised a lot of eyebrows.

In the cab to the hotel, Gabe mentioned my goal and how much the win meant to the team, but his words fizzled out after a couple of sentences, leaving an uncomfortable silence hanging between us. I jumped in, complimenting his solid play and trying to coax him into sharing his perspective as a goalie. That usually got him talking, but not tonight. As the lights of Toronto blurred past the car window, the unease I’d felt at the bar sank deeper into my chest. Gabe wasn’t himself, and whatever was on his mind, it wasn’t going away. Forcing him to talk about it wasn’t the answer, but I couldn’t ignore the tension between us.

After games, we often went to one of our rooms to watch a movie—at least that’s what we told our teammates—so we went to Gabe’s room at the hotel. As soon as we were through the door, I reached for him. I needed to feel his lips on mine and remind us both of what was good between us.

He glanced at me, then away. “Gotta piss,” he mumbled, brushing past me.

His tone was flat and distant, and my sinking feeling got worse. Fuck me. Something is definitely wrong. Determined to close the gap between us, I followed him so we could go at the same time. Yet instead of ogling my dick as he usually did, he stared at the ceiling.

Back in the bedroom, my nerves were stretched thin. I lay down on the bed and waited for him to join me. He was usually extremely horny after a game and couldn’t get his dick in my mouth fast enough. Tonight, he sat in an armchair ten feet away, scowling at the window like it had personally offended him.

My heart pounded. Whatever was eating him, it was big. I told myself it probably had nothing to do with me, but my gut said otherwise, and I couldn’t let this fester. Taking a deep breath for courage, I broke the silence. “You want to talk about it?”

“About what?” His voice was clipped, his eyes still fixed on the window.

I kept my tone even. “You’re not yourself. Are you mad at me about something?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.”

“I’m not mad.”

His tone was sharp enough to make me flinch, but I bit back my instinct to snap. Instead, I sat up and planted my feet on the floor. “Then what’s wrong?”

When he finally looked at me, his eyes—usually glimmering and full of life—were dull. “I’m not angry, Brody.” He sighed and wrung his hands together. “Hurt, maybe. Confused.”

Hurt? The word hit me like a slap, leaving my mind scrambling. When the shock faded, I was able to ask, “How have I hurt you? Why didn’t you say anything before now?”

He stared at the floor, with his shoulders stiff and his hands twitching against his thighs. The silence dragged far too long, and I tried again. “Gabe? Please talk to me, sweetheart.”

His head snapped up, and he locked his wide eyes on mine. “What did you call me?”

“Sweetheart.” The word had slipped out, but I wasn’t taking it back. “Is it okay for me to call you that?”

He wrinkled his forehead. “It’s a loaded word, Brody. Are you sure you mean it?”

“Absolutely.” I patted the bed beside me. “Please come here.”

“Not yet.”

My stomach twisted into a knot. I ran through everything that had happened tonight, trying to figure out what I’d missed. “Sweetheart, I?—”

“If you mean that word, what the hell was going on at the bar?” His voice cracked as the words poured out. “You forgot about me as soon as that woman sat down. She was all over you, and you didn’t even flinch. You turned your back to me, giggling like some kid getting his first kiss.”

“I didn’t kiss her.”

He looked away, clenching his jaw and grunting a few times. “You don’t act like that when you already have a sweetheart. Did you want her, Brody? Do you wish you’d gone with her?”

“Not at all.” Apparently, the truth wasn’t enough. He was staring into space, so I pushed on. “Gabe, look at me.”

When he turned his head, I caught the tremor in his lips and the uneven rise and fall of his chest. His hand shook as he ran it through his hair. Seeing him like that broke something inside me.

“I didn’t want her.” I fought to keep my voice even. “I’m glad I didn’t go with her. I only want you, and I’d rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world.” My emotions were rising, so I paused to clear my throat. “I’m crazy about you, Gabe. More than I can explain, and more than I’ve felt for anyone in a long time.”

His eyes searched mine. “But you’re bi. Doesn’t that mean you want women, too?”

I slid off the bed and knelt in front of him, taking his hand. Part of me felt like giving a speech about misunderstanding bisexuality, but this wasn’t the moment. I needed to explain, not lecture. “It means I can want women, just like I can want men. Everyone is different, but it’s not a gender thing with me. It’s who I make a connection with. I feel a huge connection to you, and like I said, you’re the only person I want.”

“Then what…” His throat worked as he swallowed. “What the fuck was that about tonight? Because you sure fooled me.”

“Wasn’t that the point? Fooling everyone? We agreed to keep things quiet, and I thought I was.” I stopped, trying to organize the mess in my head. “Face it, we’re always together. I figured if I acted interested in Larissa, it?—”

“Larissa.”

He said her name with so much scorn, I nearly laughed. It may have been immature, but I understood. “Look, I wasn’t interested in her at all, but whether you want to admit it or not, she’s hot. I was trying to act like a guy who didn’t already have someone, and I thought acting like I was interested would throw the boys off the scent if anyone’s suspicious.”

His brows shot up. “Are you saying you were pretending? That whole thing with her?—”

“Was an act. Because I don’t want anyone guessing what we have until we’re ready for them to know.”

He sat back, his expression a mix of anger and understanding. “Damn it, Brody.”

“Isn’t that what we agreed on? You said we never had to tell anyone if we don’t want to, so doesn’t that include not making it easy for them to figure it out? You’ve been careful, too, and everyone knows you’re gay. How would you have acted if some hot guy had been DTF with you?”

“Since I have a hot guy already, I sure as hell wouldn’t have acted like I wanted to take a stick rabbit to a dark corner and fuck. There’s a middle ground, Brody.” His voice rose, but he didn’t seem angry. More like desperate. “I’ve been careful because of you . If things were different, I wouldn’t give a shit if the boys figure out what’s going on with us. Hell, I’d be proud for them to think I’m your man.”

His words filled the room, heavy with meaning. I had to ask the question that was burning to get out. “They wouldn’t just be thinking it. It’s true, right? You’re my man?”

“Yes. Will you be mine?”

His words set off fireworks in my mind. They were everything I needed to hear but had never been sure he’d say. I looked him in the eye. “I already am. Please believe me when I say I don’t want anyone else. I want you and me to be us . Gabe and Brody, boyfriends.”

He sat very still, and I was afraid I’d overstepped. A moment later, his shoulders relaxed, and tears ran down his cheeks. “Shit.” He swiped at his face with the back of his hand. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for someone to want me like this.”

My throat tightened, and tears pricked my eyes too. “Same.”

“I care about you so much, Brody. I need you.” His lips trembled, but his smile was warm and hopeful. “Can I have a hug?”

I rose to my knees and wrapped my arms around him, hoping that holding on could express the emotions inside me. Our tears mingled, streaks of shared emotion—fear, relief, and for me, something deeper than I dared to admit.

But if that was true—and it absolutely was—why was I holding back from fucking when Gabe was everything I’d ever dreamed of? No one had ever made me feel so seen, so alive, or so utterly desired. I hated myself a little for making him worry when I wanted this as much as he did.

Why was I so afraid when the past couldn’t reach me anymore? The beatings had bruised me, but I’d healed. The sneers and whispers had carved scars into me, but they hadn’t destroyed me. Now, holding back from Gabe wasn’t protecting me. It was keeping me trapped in a fear that was hurting him too. We both deserved better.

I needed him, and I was done denying what we both craved. So, I leaned in without holding anything back. Cradling his head in my hands, I brushed my thumbs over his cheeks as our lips met. It was more than a kiss; it was a promise. He moaned softly as I poured everything I couldn’t yet say into the way our tongues played, the way I grunted into his mouth. When I finally drew back, his eyes were wide and shimmering, and I wasn’t afraid of what came next.

“Need you, Brody,” he whispered. “I said I wouldn’t pressure you, but after everything…”

He pressed his cheek to mine, and the erotic tug of his beard fanned the fire already burning inside me.

“Need you too,” I mumbled. “I’ve never wanted anyone so much in my life.”

He drew away enough to meet my eyes. “Can I fuck you, Brody?”

“Please. I need you like that.”

He let go of me and stood, offering a hand to help me up. His eyes were fiery, and when we were both on our feet, he undid his tie. “Get naked.”

My heart raced as he stripped, and I hovered too long, caught between intense desire and the twinge of nerves tightening my chest. This would be the first time I ever let a guy fuck me. What if I did the wrong thing?

Damn, Gabe’s big. What if I can’t take it? To hell with that because I wanted him inside me, needed to be one with him in the most intimate way possible. I started taking off my clothes before I could second-guess myself.

I was unzipping my pants when he stepped out of his and leaned over to take off his socks. When he stood upright, my eyes roamed over his body. My insides were humming with excitement, and the curve of his muscles and dark hair trailing across his chest and stomach turned that hum into a din of high- voltage electricity. He shed his boxers, and when his hard cock bobbed up, I flew into action and finished undressing in record time.

“Goddamn, Brody. You’re the most beautiful man I ever saw.” He rushed over and grabbed me. The unyielding bulk of his body was pure comfort, and I sagged against him, needing him to take control. When he slid his tongue into my mouth, I sucked on it, trying to signal my complete submission. I’d never been able to do this because I was a big guy. Most of my partners had been women who were much smaller than me, and the sex I’d had with men was always about mutual masturbation, blow jobs, or frotting.

Gabe withdrew from my mouth and growled, the feral sound making my stomach flip. When he said, “You’re fucking mine,” I worried that my knees might buckle.

He moved his hips, grinding against me. As good as it felt, I wanted his cock inside me, not rubbing mine. “Don’t make me wait,” I begged. “Fuck me now.”

“No problem.” He let me go and said, “Get on the bed.”

I did as he said and settled on my back before looking at him. “Do we need to use a condom? I haven’t had sex with anyone but you for a year. I got tested last summer, and it was negative. This is my first time getting fucked, and I only want to feel you.”

He placed a hand on my stomach and gazed into my eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since last spring. My tests in August were negative. I want to feel you, too, not a goddamn rubber.”

I took his hand and tugged it. “Do it then.”

He shook his head. “We need lube. I’ll be right back.”

After hurrying into the bathroom, he returned almost immediately and climbed onto the bed. He got to his knees, and holy shit—his cock was so fucking big . My mouth watered like it did every time I saw it. Since he wasn’t cut, the skin ran all the way from base to tip, emphasizing his length. Tonight, he was so hard his foreskin had already pulled back some, partially exposing the shiny pink head. A string of precum hung from the slit. It danced in the air, keeping time with the throbbing of Gabe’s cock, and I caught it on a finger and sucked it off.

It was always musky after we exercised, and tonight was no exception. The heady taste went straight to my balls, and my mouth chose that moment to get a mind of its own. “Do you realize your dick is thicker than some people’s wrists?”

He trailed a finger up my cock. “You’re hung, too, babe. I’ve never been with anyone as big as you.” His lips curved into a crooked grin. “And your neck is thicker than some people’s legs.”

Since part of good sex is having fun, I couldn’t resist a smartass reply. “That’s why I’m so good at taking it when you shove your dick down my throat.”

“Mm-hmm. Let’s see how you are at taking it up your ass. Get on all fours so I can lube you up.”

I got into position and braced for his finger, then let out a loud yelp when he licked across my hole. I gasped when he did it again. “That feels so damn good.”

A puff of warm air blew across my ass as he chuckled. “Anybody ever eat your ass before, babe?”

“Mm. No.”

“You’re in for a treat. Close your eyes and enjoy.”

He licked over my hole and around it, sometimes flattening out his tongue, and other times swirling it in figure eights. He kept going, his ministrations making me feel like the most treasured man in the world. His mouth kept me either breathless or floating like I was in heaven. I felt my hole relax, and my back along with it. I’d always loved ass play, but this was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for me sexually. When he locked his lips over my hole and sucked, I let out a high-pitched sound close to a squeal. I wasn’t embarrassed, though. I was sure Gabe was mine now, and he was doing this to make me feel good. A gravelly moan started low in my belly, and he chose that moment to push his tongue inside me. It turned my world upside down, and the moan became a wail, echoing around the room.

Gabe pulled off and reached over me, silencing my wail with a hand on my mouth. “Have to stay quiet, babe, unless you’re ready for the others to figure out what’s going on real quick.”

I nodded, and he removed his hand. “Can you handle a little more, or should I use my fingers now?”

I hated to say it, but he was right about the guys. “Your mouth feels fucking amazing, but maybe you should finger me. I don’t think I can stay quiet if you keep eating me out.”

“Hm. You really want my fingers? I think you’d better beg a little to convince me.”

“Please, Gabe. Just finger me enough so you can get your cock up my ass.”

He chuckled. “Nice try, but that won’t get you what you want.”

“ Please do it.”

“Do what?” He parted my cheeks and slid a finger between them, stopping right above my hole. “You want me to what, babe?”

“Finger my ass, you goddamn fucker. And… and…”

“Okay.” He grazed a finger over the opening, then traced circles around it. “And…?”

“Play with me in there. I promise to stay quiet.”

“You sound kind of desperate. Are you my finger slut now? You want it every day?”

His teasing tone made me want to scream. He knew what he was doing to me, and he loved doing it. In a way, I did too. No one had ever been so good at getting me worked up. “I already do, and you know it.”

“Say it then.”

The need inside me boiled over, breaking down all my reserve. “Fucking goddamn hell. I’m already your slut in every way I can think of. Can’t get enough of you or what you do to me. I’ll do anything you want if you’ll just please, please finger me.”

“Anything?”

“Yes. I don’t care how filthy it is.”

“There we go. You like it filthy, you dirty little fucker.” He rubbed a hand over my back, and his voice was softer when he spoke again. “I’ve got you, babe. Relax and enjoy.”

I begged and moaned as he worked a finger inside me, then fucked me with it. We’d done this a lot by then, and he used enough lube to keep me comfortable. Slowly, he worked up to three fingers, moving them around to open me up. The stretch was intense, and when my ass relaxed again, he started playing with my prostate. It was incredible, like small jolts of electricity shooting from my ass to my balls and dick, then arcing through my body.

When he had me practically sobbing with need, he removed his fingers and crawled around beside me. “Get up for a sec.”

I was confused, but by then, I would have done anything to move the show along. He kissed me, and the emotion in the moment made me sure this was no ordinary fuck. This was our physical declaration of what we’d said. We were boyfriends now.

When he drew away, he looked into my eyes. “I want you so much. Are you still okay with getting fucked?”

I nodded. “More than I can say, but…”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“Remember, I haven’t done this before. You’ll go slow?”

He brushed his lips across mine again. “Don’t worry, babe. I’ll make this as good for you as it can be. I’d never want to hurt you, but you have to talk to me. Let me know when you need a breather or want to stop. We don’t have to do it all tonight if it’s too much.”

There it was again, the depth of caring that had me falling so hard for him.

“I’ll let you know. Thank you.”

“Thank you for trusting me this much. How do you want it?”

“With you behind me? That’s what I’ve been thinking about.”

“Perfect. Back on all fours then.”

While I got on my knees, he crawled around behind me, and I heard the lid of the lube bottle snap open.

I turned my head so I could watch him spread it around his cock. When he finished, he poured a little more lube across his fingers and wiped it over my ass. Then, leaning across my back, he licked my ear. “Ready, babe?”

“Yes.”

“I have two rules. One, don’t let me hurt you. Say stop, and I’ll stop.”

“Okay. What’s number two?”

“Enjoy this. There are so many things we can do, and if you don’t like it one way, we’ll try another.”

“I promise.”

“Good deal. Get ready for a wild ride, D-man.”

I focused on my breathing while he placed the head of his cock against my hole and braced a hand against my shoulder. “Here we go.”

I willed myself to relax. He pushed, and after a few seconds, the muscles around my hole gave way. It was?—

“Fuck! Stop.”

He froze. “You okay?”

His voice was strained. I could imagine how it felt to be barely inside someone and have to stop, but I couldn’t help it. “Burns. Give me a minute?”

“No problem.”

Between ragged breaths, I asked, “How much did you put in?”

“Just the head.”

“Holy fuck . I know you have a monster dick, but Jesus .”

“Easy.” He leaned over and kissed my neck. Trailing small pecks across my nape, he paused to lick here and there before switching back to kisses. When he nibbled my earlobe, pleasure bloomed and rushed down into my chest. My balls tingled, and my dick—which had quickly deflated—came roaring back to life.

“Ready to try again?” he whispered.

I nodded, and when he pushed, I couldn’t hold back a sharp grunt. He kept moving, rocking back and forth, allowing me to relax. Gradually, the discomfort eased, replaced by incredible fullness.

“That is amazing,” I whispered, daring to clench around him. “You’re so huge it feels like you’ve taken me over.”

“I have.” He pushed a little more, groaning like it was the best thing he’d ever felt. “You are so fucking tight,” he mumbled. “Amazing.”

He moved again, sliding farther inside.

“So huge. Never thought it would feel like this.”

“Too much?” he asked.

“No.” My ass couldn’t have stretched even a little more, but I loved it now. I was completely full, physically and emotionally, and cascading waves of pleasure left me helpless to do anything but feel. “Fuck me, Gabe.”

He began thrusting—small movements, not more than a few inches, but they got me used to the sensation. The steady slide of him inside me was like nothing I’d ever experienced. His cock was heavy in my ass, and I gradually relaxed enough for him to move faster.

“You okay, babe?” he asked.

“More. Please, more.”

He grasped my hips and pushed deeper. As he picked up speed, pleasure mushroomed inside me with every thrust. It was impossible to stay quiet, so I lowered my face and moaned into the mattress.

Soon, he was driving into me, but I could tell he was still holding back. I clenched my ass, begging for more, and he switched his angle. When he nailed my prostate, I raised my head and cried out before I realized what I was doing.

He stopped, leaving his cock pressed into my gland. “Still like it?”

“Fuck yes.” My voice was rough. “Give it to me harder. I won’t break.”

“Okay, but tell me if it’s too much.”

“Just do it!”

He pulled almost all the way out before ramming me with so much force I saw stars. I gave a strangled cry, frozen in shock. Before I could recover, he pulled back and shoved inside me again. This one almost knocked the wind out of me, and the next one drove me toward the edge of the bed. I dropped my shoulders to the mattress so he wouldn’t push me off.

He moved even faster, slamming into me and making me grunt with every thrust. If this was what getting pounded felt like, I wanted it every day. Twice a day.

“Yes,” I croaked. “Harder. Fuck me!”

“Shh,” he warned.

There was no way I could stay quiet, so I buried my face in the mattress again. I moved my hips, trying to meet his thrusts, but he was fucking me too fast. He wrapped his arms around me, hammering me so hard I had to lift my head to breathe. Braced on my elbows, I heard myself chanting. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

At last, he relented and dropped his head onto my shoulder. Sweat dripped over me, extending his claim to my body and making my dick harder. His noisy breaths came in gasps, and his voice was strained when he asked, “Need a rest?”

“A little. Hold on.” I lowered us onto the bed. His weight pressed me down, but I was too strong for him to crush me. His cock was still stuffed up my ass, and while we huffed for air, I squeezed him repeatedly. “I knew getting fucked would be incredible, but I never dreamed it would be this good.”

“Want to take it on your back? Or we could both get on our knees while I hold you up. I can jerk you off while we fuck.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “You really know what you’re doing.”

“Back or knees?”

“Back.”

His cock slipped out of me, and he rolled to the side.

I flipped onto my back and turned my head to meet his eyes. “I want you to pound the hell out of me.”

He widened his eyes. “Thought I already was.”

“You are, but fucking someone when they’re on their back, you can really go to town.”

He grinned. “You’re working me hard.”

“Tell me you aren’t loving it.”

He got to his knees and crawled between my legs, then picked up the lube. After squeezing some onto his hand, he wiped it around his cock and eased a finger into my hole to keep me slippery. When he tossed the bottle aside, I raised my legs. Hopefully, we wouldn’t have to go through another breaking-in period.

Looking into my eyes, he positioned his cock against my hole and raised his eyebrows. I nodded, and he pushed inside, all the way to the hilt.

“Holy fuck,” I whispered, patting my belly. “I can feel you up here.”

He lowered himself over me and grinned. “I’m not that big. You just love it so much you’re my fuck slut now.”

“Hell yes.”

“Kiss me then.” He placed his lips over mine and sneaked his tongue inside as he reached between us to play with my dick. I didn’t fight when our tongues met. I was Gabe’s, and I didn’t want that to change.

He broke the kiss and smiled. “I’ve got to move.”

“Go for it.”

He let my dick go, leaned on his elbows, and started pounding me. Every thrust nailed my prostate, and I started jerking off. “More,” I begged.

“God!” He clenched his jaw and let loose, fucking me so hard my teeth chattered.

“Not gonna last,” I muttered.

“Me either.”

“Give it to me. Deeper!”

His eyes locked onto mine, wild and watery. He jackhammered me, and I jerked myself as fast as I could.

He slammed into me and stopped. “Fuck!”

I felt his shots inside me, an incredible sensation of being claimed. He kept spurting, and I came hard, punctuating my shots with harsh grunts.

Gabe held himself to a low groan, but I got louder as I covered us both with cum. He silenced me with another kiss, holding me close. Our chest hair tangled together, and he pushed his tongue almost into my throat.

When the kiss broke, he laid his head on my shoulder. He still had his cock inside me, and I could barely hear him when he spoke. “Fuck, babe. That was the hardest I ever came.”

“Me too. Thank you.” I struggled to breathe. “Can you roll off? Need air.”

He stretched out beside me and groaned. Happier than I’d been in ages, I reached for the blanket folded at the foot of the bed and pulled it over us before nestling into his arms. His steady breathing gave way to soft snores, and as I settled, the enormity of what we’d shared overwhelmed me. Tears slipped down my temples, emotional expressions of relief, hope, and happiness. I’d been through hell, but maybe now I’d found a place where I belonged.