Page 68

He rubbed a towel through his hair, then saw me and grinned—a smile so real it made my heart nearly snap in two.

Immediately, he frowned. “What’s wrong?” He crossed the room in seconds, his eyes searching.

“Nothing.”

“Your Flux is all over the damn place. Don’t lie to me.” He grabbed my arm, and I saw the realization hit. “You were going to run.”

“I was going to leave,” I countered, my back hitting the couch as I moved away. “Big difference.”

“Why?” Another step closer.

“You know why.”

His Flux was a storm, barely held in check. “Because it was good? Because for once, it wasn’t whatever fucked-up game we’ve been playing?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You weren’t that good.”

His laugh was harsh. Ugly. “Another lie, doll.”

I flung his hand off my arm. “You think you understand me because we fucked? I’m not one of your corporate psychological profiles.”

“I understand you because we’re the same. Both of us are just commodified goods—we just have different buyers. Both of us pretending we’re not falling apart at the seams under the weight of this fucked-up world we live in.”

I looked away, but he grabbed my chin, yanking my gaze back to his.

“I understand you because what we share goes beyond reason. Beyond Flux, beyond fucking or anything else. I want you, Eon.”

I shoved his hand away, harder this time. “No, you don’t. I’ve never been what you wanted.”

His eyes narrowed. “Then tell me—what do I want?”

“Control. Like we all do.” I shouldn’t have dug in, but I could still feel his gentle touch all over my body, and I needed to erase it. “Control over your life—something you’ve never actually had.”

That did it. For the first time in days, true anger sparked in his eyes.

“You think I want control? I have fucking control, doll. I can go where I want. Do what I want.” He shifted, his hand gripping my whole face now, fingers digging into my cheeks. “Fuck who I want. Kill who I want. If that’s not control, what is?”

“You’ve got all that, and it’s still not enough. You walked right into my trap because you needed to break something to prove you weren’t already broken.”

His face went still. Neutral. And I realized how accustomed I’d become to his smirk.

“Got me all figured out, don’t you?” His grip on my face tightened.

“But here’s the problem with your analysis, Eon.

I’ve always known I was broken. Since the day my mom had me on a dirty Magenta floor.

So maybe I wanted a mirror. Someone just as fucked-up and broken as me.

And there you were. A whore pretending to be the Sky District girl she always wanted to be. ”

I slapped him. Hard. The sound reverberated through the silent apartment.

“Guess we really were a match made in heaven, huh?” I shoved him, but he grabbed my wrists and tried to pin me down.

We were right back where we started—opposite sides. The cyberrunner rat and the corporate lapdog. The way we should’ve stayed.

I struggled against him, and the anger in his eyes sharpened into something deadly—until a loud thud sounded, and suddenly he was on the floor.

He groaned, clutching his head, and I scrambled back to see Taos standing behind the couch, gun raised.

The gun Cy had given me.

“E! We’ve got to get out of here. He’s the one who…” Her hands were shaking as she moved her finger to the trigger. It didn’t fire, registered to my fingerprint only. She must have hit him with it.

“Taos, calm down. Give me that.” I tried to pull the gun from her grip, but she wouldn’t let go.

“He’s the one who shot me!” she cried. “He’s the one who killed Tanaka!”

The silence that followed was deafening. Taos stopped struggling. I spun around as Cy stood up behind me.

“Tell me it isn’t true.”

I already knew the answer. Of course it had been him. Who else could it have been? Had I always known, deep down? His silence was condemning.

I raised the gun I hadn’t even realized was in my hand until it was level with his forehead.

“Tell me it isn’t true.”

“You know I’m a liar, Eon.”

Don’t. Don’t say my name like that .

He moved slowly, trying to take the gun from my hand, but I stepped back.

“Get out of here, Taos. Right fucking now.”

She bolted, surprisingly steady for someone who’d been on the edge of death last night.

Cy cautiously stepped toward me, like someone trying to coax a stray alley cat.

I let him get close, the gun now pressed up under his jaw. He brushed his fingers over my cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

His hand traced down my jaw, along my neck, then over and up my arm until it settled over mine. His fingers laced over mine—right over the trigger.

“Don’t be shy now, doll. Do it.”

His eyes were pitch black, pupils blown wide.

“Better kill me now, because if you don’t, you won’t be safe. I’ll never stop. I’ll keep coming, until I find you again. Until I can feel the pulse of you beneath me and around me.”

“You killed Professor Tanaka.”

“You’re smart. You figured that out already. Don’t use it as an excuse.”

“You killed Rook.”

He didn’t respond. But there were no more lies between us now.

“Why?”

“He hurt you.” He leaned into the barrel of the gun, his finger tightening over mine. A dare. A question.

“Like you said, Cy—I’m worthless. Just another slum whore. This world will churn out a thousand more to take my place. Why bother?”

“None of them will ever feel the way you do.”

And then, as he said it, he pulled the trigger.

My heart stopped.

The gun let out a hollow thunk —firing on an empty chamber.

“How did you know it was empty?”

He grinned, wild and unhinged, back in that manic place like when I had first seen him all those months ago. “I know you, Eon. I feel you, right in the very heart of me. You’re soft. I’m the worst thing that could happen to you.”

“But I’ll give you another chance.” He ejected the empty magazine with a click , letting it clattered to the floor. Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a new one, ramming it in so hard it jolted my wrist in his grip.

“No blanks this time. So go ahead. Finish the job you started.”

“You’re crazy! Aren’t you afraid?”

“I’m not afraid of death. He and I have always had a close relationship.

What I am afraid of is that someday you’ll stop looking at me.

I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if you’re mad.

I don’t care if you hit me or hurt me. As long as you’re looking at me, then I know I’m real.

I know I’m not just a ghost, a demon who haunts the night.

When you look at me, I’m a man—and you’re the only one who’s ever really seen me. ”

“I hate you.”

“That’s fine, doll. As long as you’re near me. As long as you look at me.”

As he said it, I saw those sparks behind his eyes and felt the hairs on my arms rise, his Flux pulsing beneath his skin, the rhythm calling to my own.

Resonance. Perfect match. But I fought it, shifting my frequency until our signals clashed and destroyed each other.

Because that’s what would happen—we would destroy each other.

I’d seen it a million times in this city.

I knew something that felt like this only ended one way. Exponential decay.

But for just one more moment, we could align.

I pressed the gun to his throat, the cold metal digging into the soft flesh beneath that strong jaw.

Then my other hand was at the back of his neck, and my lips were on his, my tongue pushing past the barrier of his lips to claim him one last time.

He met me with equal ferocity, just as hungry to preserve this moment.

His hands traced over my sides and ribs, and I pressed into him, feeling him rise to meet me again.

Then his hand snapped to my wrist, his thumb pressing hard into the tendons until my grip on the gun loosened.

He reached with his other hand, trying to wrest it free.

I knocked us over, trying to break away.

His teeth sank into my neck, and I kneed him hard as he broke skin.

I hissed and slammed my free hand into his face.

His nose cracked, and he caught me with his elbow—hard—on the side of my head, blackness bleeding into my vision.

It was enough, and he ripped the gun from my hand.

His hair twisted in my grip as I fought back, then the cold steel of the barrel pressed against my temple.

Our eyes locked. For one more moment, the resonance held.

I heard the click of the safety I’d left on. Something flickered behind his eyes. The resonance broke, but he hesitated just a moment too long.

I slammed my palm into his neck, the neurodampener I’d grabbed off his desk lodging into his skin.

That spark went out. He collapsed onto me, completely unconscious.