Page 156 of Neon Flux

“Where’s—”

“Showering. Come on.”

Her eyes widened in understanding. “You fucked him again,” she whispered. Not a question.

I ignored her, helping her stand. The gel had worked wonders; she was already moving with only minimal stiffness. “Can you walk?”

She nodded, studying my face with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. “E, what did you—”

“Not now.” I tried to steady her when I heard the shower turn off.

Taos’ eyes went wide. “He’s the one who—”

I cut her off. “Stay here. I’ll take care of this.” As I stood up, I walked past his desk and terminal, a small metallic glint catching my eye. I grabbed it—insurance.

I walked back out into the living area just as Cy emerged from the bathroom—surprisingly—dressed. Well, at least he had shorts on.

He rubbed a towel through his hair, then saw me and grinned—a smile so real it made my heart nearly snap in two.

Immediately, he frowned. “What’s wrong?” He crossed the room in seconds, his eyes searching.

“Nothing.”

“Your Flux is all over the damn place. Don’t lie to me.” He grabbed my arm, and I saw the realization hit. “You were going to run.”

“I was going to leave,” I countered, my back hitting the couch as I moved away. “Big difference.”

“Why?” Another step closer.

“You know why.”

His Flux was a storm, barely held in check. “Because it was good? Because for once, it wasn’t whatever fucked-up game we’ve been playing?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You weren’t that good.”

His laugh was harsh. Ugly. “Another lie, doll.”

I flung his hand off my arm. “You think you understand me because we fucked? I’m not one of your corporate psychological profiles.”

“I understand you because we’re the same. Both of us are just commodified goods—we just have different buyers. Both of us pretending we’re not falling apart at the seams under the weight of this fucked-up world we live in.”

I looked away, but he grabbed my chin, yanking my gaze back to his.

“I understand you because what we share goes beyond reason. Beyond Flux, beyond fucking or anything else. I want you, Eon.”

I shoved his hand away, harder this time. “No, you don’t. I’ve never been what you wanted.”

His eyes narrowed. “Then tell me—what do I want?”

“Control. Like we all do.” I shouldn’t have dug in, but I could still feel his gentle touch all over my body, and I needed to erase it. “Control over your life—something you’ve never actually had.”

That did it. For the first time in days, true anger sparked in his eyes.

“You think I want control? Ihavefucking control, doll. I can go where I want. Do what I want.” He shifted, his hand gripping my whole face now, fingers digging into my cheeks. “Fuck who I want. Kill who I want. If that’s not control, what is?”

“You’ve got all that, and it’s still not enough. You walked right into my trap because you needed to break something to prove you weren’t already broken.”

His face went still. Neutral. And I realized how accustomed I’d become to his smirk.