Page 52 of Necessary Roughness

Sloane

Halftime felt like a funeral. All the excited energy from the beginning of the game was long gone, replaced by a grim sense of inevitability.

Despite our school’s amazing football season, despite dominating every single game up until last week, we were going to fall short.

Orange Coast was going to win a fourth championship in as many years.

I left the student section to get some food.

While waiting in line, I considered leaving the stadium and going home.

Watching the men I cared about, my lovers , lose this game was too painful to endure.

The only thing that kept me from leaving was a sense of loyalty to Bryson and Jayden.

I didn’t want them to experience the disappointment alone, not after they had been supportive of me.

My hot dog tasted bland, even with lots of mustard. I ate half of it on the way back to my seat, then tossed the rest in the trash.

“I wasn’t sure if you were coming back,” Jayden said.

“I thought about it,” I admitted. “Why? Do you guys want to leave?”

“We’re still in this,” Bryson insisted. “I’m not leaving until the end, no matter how bad it gets.”

I stared down at the field. The teams were returning for the second half.

“You love them,” Bryson said. “Don’t you?”

I whipped my head toward him. “What? Love? I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

Bryson smiled sadly. “Sloane, I’ve never seen you this way. And I don’t just mean this way, sad and heartbroken. I mean the way you’ve been all semester. It’s like you finally became the best version of yourself. That’s the kind of thing only love can cause.”

For once, Jayden was silent while he waited for my response.

“Maybe I was falling in love,” I admitted. “Before I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, but I’m sick of having that argument,” he said. “You should tell them how you feel.”

“It’s tough after the past week,” I said. “It’s like an enormous chasm has opened up between us, and we’re on opposite sides. There’s no way to bridge it, now. Let me think about it.”

“You think too much,” Jayden said.

“I’m going to be a teacher. I should be thinking with my head, not my heart.”

“The thing about teachers,” Bryson said slowly, “is that they do both. Good teachers, at least.”

Jayden pointed. “What’s going on down there?”

Other students around us were murmuring in confusion. Two Westview players were jogging toward our student section, with a third man in street clothes right behind them. My breath caught in my chest.

It can’t be…

Jayden was grinning widely at me. “Sloane, do you see this?”

“She’s watching, idiot,” Bryson hissed.

“I’m just making sure!”

Ten rows in front of us, Knox Maddox and Logan Hunter climbed up the fence until they were standing against the railing in the first row. Seconds later, Roman Langford grunted his way up to join them. The three of them stood side-by-side, squinting up into our student section.

Then Knox cupped his hands over his mouth and roared, “SLOANE!”

“She’s right here!” Jayden shouted, jumping up and down and pointing at me.

A warmness spread in my chest as all three of my boyfriends found me in the crowd, three sets of intense eyes.

“I’m going to get so many views on TikTok,” Jayden said while pulling out his phone. Bryson tried to take it from him, and the two brothers play-fought for control of the device.

“Sloane, I’m sorry!” Knox shouted. The rest of the students around us were completely silent, so his voice was perfectly clear. “It’s all my fault.”

Glancing around at half the student body, I replied, “We can talk about this later.”

“No!” Logan insisted. “We have to talk about it now!”

“All the success we’ve had this year is because of you,” Knox told me. “Well, not all the success. But most of it. We never would have made it to this championship if not for you. You’ve brought out the best in us.”

His words echoed what Bryson had said about me becoming the best version of myself, and something warm bloomed behind my ribs.

“You had nothing to do with our loss last week,” Knox continued.

“You shouldn’t have blamed yourself for it.

And more importantly, I shouldn’t have let you blame yourself.

It was just bad luck.” Knox glanced down at the railing like he wanted to jump over it and run to me, but then decided not to.

“I need to know you’re behind me. Behind us .

I need to know that when this game ends, win or lose, we can be together.

Because that’s what I want more than anything, Sloane.

What I want more than that trophy on the field.

I just want to be with you. If you’ll have me. ”

All of my doubts, all of my self-hatred, all of my guilt disappeared like a dandelion surrendering to the wind. “Yes!” I shouted back at him. “That’s all I’ve wanted, too!”

Even from ten rows away, I could see the relief in Knox’s eyes as he grinned.

“Sloane, I love you!” Logan suddenly shouted.

Knox and Roman both turned to glare at him. “Dude, you kind of stole my thunder.”

“I thought you were done!” Logan turned back to me. “Sorry for going out of turn, or whatever, but I love you Sloane Collins!”

“I love you too, Logan Hunter!” I replied, the words coming from my heart instead of my head.

Logan’s face brightened. “Did you see the dicks I drew on your paper!”

“Yes! It was very funny!”

“Which one was your favorite?”

“Let’s discuss this later!”

“It’s just that I spent a lot of time on them!” Logan yelled back. “My favorite is the one shaped like a submarine!”

Below them on the field, the head coach and a gaggle of coaching assistants—including their babysitter Zane—were waving their clipboards and shouting at the players to come down.

“I love you too!” Knox quickly said. “I’ve loved you for a while, but only now figured it out. Only when I didn’t think I had you anymore.”

I felt lighter than air, like I might float out of my seat and up into the sky. “I feel the same way! I love you!”

Roman cupped his hands over his mouth. “I’m quite fond of you! But I’m not ready to attach any labels to it yet!”

“That’s okay too!” I replied.

Behind me, a sorority girl screeched, “I LOVE YOU ALL TOO! And I’ll do stuff in bed that Sloane would never do!”

“Doubt it,” Jayden muttered next to me. I glared at him, and he lowered his phone and said, “What? You’ve told me all the things you let them do to you. That girl’s a Gamma, and Gammas are all prudes.”