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My heart jolted with a kind of nervous excitement, like when the notification came through that your crush had liked your profile photo on Facebook. Fran? Could it be Fran? What the hell was I even going to say to her?

Before I could spiral into any kind of overthinking, the automated voice ended abruptly, replaced by the hum and buzz of what I could only guess was prison ambience.

‘Gareth? Are you there?’

It was her. The sound of her voice sent a shiver through me; it was almost nostalgic hearing it again as I noticed the skin on my arm begin to erupt with tiny bumps. Lord, that hadn’t happened for a while.

‘Hi, Fran, yeah it’s…it’s me.’

‘Hey,’ she replied.

I don’t know why, but it surprised me at first that this wasn’t like our old phone calls.

Her voice was obviously different, more monotone and distant.

I mean, I suppose she was speaking to the person who had turned her in to the police, the one who hadn’t even been able to look her in the eye as they’d taken her away.

‘Look, there’s so much to say,’ she continued.

Her words were steady but still glaringly hollow of any kind of emotion; she had rehearsed what she was saying to me.

‘There’s still so much we need to talk about, but I just…

I really wanted to hear your voice before the trial begins as I don’t know if I’ll have a chance again.

And I wanted to say I’m sorry for everything.

I don’t know if that means anything to you now, but I wanted to say it… ’

I could have sobbed like a baby there and then.

Fran’s voice may have been empty of any emotion, but I hadn’t heard it for so long.

A brutal combination of emotions churned inside me: relief, happiness, sadness, guilt.

It was nauseating, as if no human was ever meant to feel so many things so strongly all at once.

‘I’m…so sorry too,’ I said, trying not to let my voice quiver. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t even look at you, I was just so…ashamed and all of this is my fault, and…I wish I could take it all back. I wish there was something I could do.’

‘There isn’t, okay?’ she replied, her words brusque, but still not purposefully cruel. She paused, and her tone softened ever so slightly. ‘God, I have to admit, it’s so nice to hear your voice again. How’s Mep?’

I glanced over at the cat, who looked like someone had stuck googly eyes on a mound of mangled fur. He ambled closer to investigate who I was talking to.

‘He’s okay,’ I lied. ‘He misses you.’

‘Good.’ Her voice wavered before she corrected herself. ‘Look, I’ve got to go now, but…just thanks, I guess, for the last few years and just…take care of yourself, okay?’

‘Okay,’ I repeated, my throat tightening and my eyes watering. Then something else took over. ‘Fran, I just want to say…I love you?’

‘Okay,’ she echoed softly. Then the line went dead.

My mum had always told me she wished she had known her last conversation with dad would be the final time she would ever speak to him.

She’d told me there was so much she wished she had said.

But there I was, knowing I had maybe just spoken to my wife for the last time and still thinking of things I wanted to tell her.

It had almost become something of a routine now, trying to drift off to sleep with teleshopping in the background.

It was the same lady on again. Very prim and very proper, but clearly not loving her job as she walked around the overly saturated set with a dead-eyed look. I imagine the viewing figures for teleshopping weren’t exactly high.

She presented a product, the price and number flashing on screen. The easy trim, at-home haircut set. If I called the number now, they’d throw in a free comb as well.

I shuffled around on the sofa, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get comfortable, so I got to my feet and yanked out the cushions to flip them over.

That was when I saw a gold sparkle shoot into the air and land with a small clink right on the carpet.

Mep hopped over to sniff it, but I quickly reached down and snatched it up before he could swallow it.

I certainly didn’t want to deal with the opposite problem Mep was currently having.

It was an earring: Fran’s. I gripped it tightly to my chest, exhaled deeply, and then settled back down on the sofa.

God, I missed her, I missed her so much.

I missed her bringing me risotto at work, I missed the boring bread-and-butter sex, I missed the stupid arguments, and most of all, I missed talking to her.

I missed everything about her. I knew she loved me too, but I still just didn’t understand why she’d done what she had.

I stretched my arm out to feel Mep, but couldn’t find him there.

‘Mep?’ I called, propping myself up on my elbow and squinting through the dark to make him out.

I could just about see his slim silhouette below me, his glowing eyes glinting.

I watched him slowly gobble the leftovers of my microwaved mac and cheese I had abandoned by the sofa.

I leaned forward, carefully, cautious not to make any kind of noise or movement that could throw him off as he chomped on each bite.

To my astonishment, he didn’t puke it straight up over the carpet.

I listened closely to every single audible gulp he made.

‘Good boy,’ I whispered, leaning back into my indented spot on the sofa.

I continued watching the telemarketing lady on TV, attempting to sell the easy trim, but any good insomniac could tell that she wasn’t having it tonight.

Maybe she’d had a rough day with the kids.

There was so little zing behind her tonight, deep crow’s feet stretched from her eyes as she snatched up the easy trim and held it upward.

She seemed almost lost for words in the majesty of something so… cheap.

‘Look, level me with here,’ the lady said with a half-groan.

‘You know sometimes, when you have really stupid ideas, and you know they’re stupid.

You know they’re foolish, and you know that you’re probably going to regret it and that it’s probably not a good move,’ she said to the camera, clearly in response to her producer begging her to try something, anything through her earpiece.

‘But something within you compels you to just do it anyway. To act.’

She paused.

‘That’s what the easy trim is, so don’t waste time in picking one up today.’