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CHAPTER FOUR

LILY

I expect him to tell me I’ve got it wrong. Since I was a kid and this knight in shining armor rode into my life, I’ve wondered if I dreamed of him. Whenever I thought about how he handled things, his efficiency, calm, and determination to do the right thing always made me want to do the same thing.

“I’m sorry?” he says, his kind eyes at odds with his careful, guarded exterior.

He’s tall and broad-shouldered, his slick silver suit hugging his powerful frame. His arms fill the suit jacket. His eyes are empathetic, dark blue, and searching, as though he’s interested in everything and everyone. His hair is black with threads of silver in it, highlighting his experience.

I’m sure it’s him.

“Is your name Landon?” I ask, feeling like a douche now.

“Yes,” he says, putting me out of my misery, “but considering I saved your life, you’ve got me at a loss …”

“You probably won’t remember me,” I murmur. “When I was a kid, my parents were getting divorced. My mom was going through a bad spot with …” I hesitate, then remember he knows and saw it and continue, “… her addiction, but she was way better than my dad. He wasn’t exactly loving, remember?”

Maybe it’s the desperation in the question, how badly I need him to understand so I don’t need to explain Dad’s rants and the way he would break things, and how sometimes his violence wouldn’t stay relegated to objects. Finally, Landon’s kind eyes snap open in realization.

“Lia?” he says.

“Lily,” I quickly correct, “but yeah.”

“You lived … here, right?” He looks up and down The Row.

“We did, yeah.” I nod. “You took on Mom’s case. You stopped me from going into care. You gave her a second chance.”

“When was this?” he says, a soft smile touching his lips. “It must’ve been … ten years ago?”

“Yep. I was twelve. I never learned your surname then, and Mom doesn’t like talking about when she was like that.”

“Like that,” meaning completely dependent on pills.

“Is she doing better now?” he asks.

“Much, thank you. I think you gave her a wake-up call.”

He looks down at my feet and then back at my face, the corner of his lips twitching. Something tells me he’s comparing how I looked as a kid to how I look now. I was frumpy and bigger back then. I’m not exactly thin now, but I feel like I’ve grown into my curves. Surely, he’s not doing that. I was twelve the last time he saw me. Just because I had a crush on him, it doesn’t mean he’d ever think twice about me .

“Do you still live around here?” he asks after a pause.

“No, when Mom got clean, she moved us out. I’m here for work. I’m a social worker now. You inspired me. When I saw how you handled the system back then—not to mention Dad—and without asking for a fee, it meant a lot to me …”

I trail off, realizing I sound like the biggest dork who has ever lived. His lip does that twitching thing again as if he sees me as somebody he can show a polite interest in but nothing else. I’ve got to remember that while he was a huge inspiration for me , I’m probably just one memory in dozens, if not hundreds of cases.

“You’re here alone?” he asks after a pause, those kind eyes turning searching. “Handling a case?”

I stand up straighter. Am I nuts, or did his gaze flit to my chest? Yes, that’s nuts . No, he’s not checking me out . “Yes, I am.”

“You’re a senior social worker already?”

“I’m doing my internship,” I tell him.

He frowns and moves closer to me, almost like he thinks we’ll be overheard. I don’t even care about the reason when I can savor his cologne, his presence. How many times have I remembered tall and intense Landon since he disappeared from my life?

“You’re here alone,” he says, his tone getting tight. “While you’re on your internship ? Somebody’s fucked up.”

“Or maybe somebody realizes I can handle it,” I hiss. “They also realize that there’s only so many resources available in this city.”

When his lip twitches again, I almost want to slap him. It’s the confused emotions it triggers in me. One moment, it’s like he thinks I’m cute and that it’s quaint and silly that a woman like me would handle this alone. The next, it’s like he’s fiercely proud, and I care much more than I should.

“What if it gets dangerous? This sort of work can, sometimes.”

“ You’re here alone.” When he laughs, I snap, “What? You don’t need to be afraid, but I do?”

“I don’t want to offend you, Lily …”

“Maybe I’m not very easily offended.”

“Then yes, I think I could handle myself better if something went wrong. I also think the sky is blue.”

There’s not much I can say to this, so I go the sarcastic route. “Actually, it’s pretty gray today.”

His laugh seems more genuine now, less mocking.

“Why are you here?” I ask. “Is it about the bar?”

He nods. “Noise complaints from some parents. They want to use the noise as a reason to shut the bar down.”

I debate if I should tell him. Landon is even better at reading me now than he was when I was a kid. Back then, when he helped my mom, he could tell I was trying to protect my dad; he could tell I was terrified of revealing the truth about Mom’s addiction. He could read it all, which made revealing it so much easier.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, leaning down even more.

He’s standing directly over me, emphasizing just how big he is.

“I’m here because a mother lets her kid hang out at the bar. The mother denied it to my face. I could tell she was out of it, just like…” My mom , but there’s no need to add that part. Landon’s being here brings back all those memories. “The daughter, Grace, said her friends like to go to the bar because they let them play video games and give them snacks.” I shiver. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out they’re trying to make them feel comfortable … but for what?”

“Jesus,” he whispers. His expression gets that severe and strong-minded look I remember so well from when I was a kid. It was an expression that’s stuck with me, one that loudly proclaims, I will not let bad things happen if I can stop them .

“I don’t know what to do. All those kids belong in care, but …”

He reads me again. When he speaks, a tingle dances over my skin. It’s because he’s bringing all these buried memories to the surface. His voice takes me back to that time. “Just because care wasn’t right for you, it doesn’t mean it has no place,” he says.

“I know,” I sigh. “I need to speak with my boss and determine the best course of action. I can’t believe that bar is right there.”

He looks across the street, his jaw tight as he nods. He seems ready to tear the bar to pieces with his bare hands. “Some politician probably got some payment one day to sign some piece of paper that makes it okay. What, why are you smiling?”

Crap. I didn’t even realize I was!

“Am I?” I stutter.

“Grinning like a girl on Christmas morning.”

“More like smiling like a woman appreciating that somebody else cares about how corrupt this city can be!”

He narrows his eyes, furthering my obsession with watching all the different things he does with them, where he looks, and the thoughts they hint at. He’s my knight in shining armor , I once told Maddie, my best friend. She’ll freak when she finds out I’ve found him again.

“Yeah, it’s bad,” Landon says. “Some folk might even say it’s not worth trying.”

“I can’t understand that at all,” I snap.

“No?”

“You wouldn’t be here if you could either,” I tell him.

He smirks, making me want to snap at him again. Something about him calling me “ girl ” really pissed me off. A silence stretches between us. It’s not awkward, exactly, but it’s not comfortable either. It’s like we’re … well … precisely what we are—two acquaintances with a few shared experiences but nothing more.

“Well, good luck,” I say because I can’t take the silence anymore.

“And you,” he murmurs.

I turn away, telling myself I’ve got no reason to feel disappointed. I don’t know what I expected. I shouldn’t even be thinking about anything. I shouldn’t be wishing he was taking an interest in me. I shouldn’t wonder what it would feel like to have his powerful savior’s arms wrapped around me.

It’s weird, especially considering I was twelve the last time I saw him, and he’s almost twice my age. Yet when he calls my name, I can’t stop a giant, relieved smile from spreading across my face.