Page 16 of My One and Only (Blackhawk Security #10)

A fter she and Fiona had finished their snacks, Cam told Fiona to get started on her homework. She gave her father a pleading look and said, “Are you gonna help me, Daddy? Grandma always helps me.”

Cam nodded once. Froze and closed his eyes. Opened them a moment later. “Yeah, I can help you. Let’s sit at the kitchen table.”

He had his left hand pressed against his head, and Jo was pretty sure he didn’t even realize it. She put her hand on his shoulder. “You look wiped out, Cam.”

He began to nod, then froze again. Drew in a deep breath. “Yeah. I am. Feels like my head is going to fall off my shoulders.”

“Then why don’t you go take a nap?” Jo said. “Fiona and I will be fine by ourselves, and you need some sleep. You had a serious concussion, and you’re still recovering.”

“You’re not responsible for Fiona,” he said. “That’s my job.”

“Yeah, it is. But I think I can handle taking care of a six-year-old for a couple of hours. I promise not to give her cigarettes or booze, okay?”

Fiona giggled, then slapped her hand over her mouth as her father scowled at her.

Cam rolled his eyes. Then closed them, as if just the movement was painful.

“Fiona and I will read or work on her homework. Whatever she wants to do,” Jo said.

Cam scowled. “Have you ever taken care of a six-year-old?” he asked.

“I’ve watched my brothers’ kids a few times. All of them survived. And they all think Aunt Jo is the epitome of coolness.”

“I don’t want Fiona to think you’re cool,” he muttered. He glanced at his daughter. “She’ll be devastated when you leave.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “Really? A woman she’s known for a few days? I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. She’ll forget all about me the next day.”

“I don’t want her to re-live how she felt when her mom… went away.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, but Jo saw them shaking. “I’ll help her with her homework.”

Jo shook her head, sympathy bleeding into the irritation she felt about Cam’s stubbornness. “Cam, you can barely stay upright. Which isn’t surprising, considering that you did a full day’s work, drove to Naperville to look at that truck, drove to school to pick Fiona up, then went to Costco. I’m exhausted just thinking about what you did, and I don’t have a concussion. Go to bed. Take a nap. Fiona and I will be fine.”

She held his gaze as he swayed on his feet. So she hooked her arm through his and walked him down the hall to his bedroom. Led him inside and lowered him onto the bed. “Sleep, Cam. You’ll feel a lot better if you take a nap.”

He stared up at her, a muscle in his jaw twitching. He began to stand up, wobbled and fell back onto the bed.

“Fiona and I will be fine.” Jo pitched her voice low, soothing, so it wouldn’t hurt his head. “When you wake up, we’ll make that mac and cheese and broccoli you bought at Costco.”

He held her gaze, and she stared right back. Finally, he eased himself down onto the bed. Set his head onto a pillow and closed his eyes.

She watched for a few minutes, and when his breathing became slow and regular, she tiptoed out of his room and closed the door.

What now? What were she and Fiona going to do? She’d talked a big game to Cam, but in reality, Jo had no idea how to keep a six-year-old girl entertained.

She found Fiona in the living room, looking at one of her books. Jo sat on the couch beside her. “You wanna read that book? Or have me read if to you?”

Fiona shook her head. “No. I wanna watch TV.”

“Is that what you usually do after school?” Jo asked.

Fiona nodded vigorously. “Yeah. When I’m at Grandma and Pop Pop’s house, I watch TV.”

Jo tilted her head. Fiona looked down, her eyes locked on her fingers, pleating the bottom of her sweater. So she was testing Jo. Seeing if she could put one over on her.

“Okay,” Jo said. “What do you usually watch?”

Fiona darted an anxious look at her. “Um, usually Sesame Street?”

Jo turned so she was facing Fiona. “You don’t sound sure about that, Fiona.”

“That’s ‘cause it depends on the day of the week,” Fiona said.

“Today is Wednesday,” Jo said. “What do you watch on Wednesday?”

Fiona broke and began giggling. “I don’t know. I don’t watch TV after school. I was joking you.”

Jo pressed her lips together to keep from giggling along with Fiona. “Okay. What do you really do after school?” she asked.

“My homework.” Fiona glanced at Jo, then looked away. “Grandma always says that if I get my homework done, I can have fun until it’s time to go to bed.”

Nodding sagely at Fiona, Jo said, “She’s a smart grandma. Let’s tackle your homework,” Jo said. “Your dad will be so happy when he wakes up and it’s already done. His head still hurts, so we don’t want to make him think too hard.”

Fiona pulled her lower lip into her mouth, her big blue eyes worried. “Why does Daddy’s head hurt?” she asked in a small voice.

Had Cam described for Fiona exactly what had happened to him? “What did your daddy tell you?” she asked.

“He said another truck hit his truck and he banged his head.” Fingers moving from her sweater, she twisted a piece of her hair around her finger. “Is my daddy gonna die?”

Jo’s heart ached for the frightened child. Did she know her mother had died in a car accident? Was she thinking about that and worrying that her father was going to die in the same way? Had anyone explained to Fiona exactly what had happened to her mother?

“Of course not, baby.” Jo reached for Fiona’s hand and twined their fingers together. “He has a concussion, which is a hurt head, because his head banged against the steering wheel. A concussion gives you a big headache for a while, but he’s getting better. He went to work today.” Jo smiled and nudged Fiona. “I had to get very bossy with him and make him take some Tylenol so his head didn’t hurt as much.”

“Did it work?” Fiona asked.

“I think so,” Jo said. “He’s not acting like his head hurts so much now.”

“I have to take Tylenol when I’m sick.” She screwed up her face. “I don’t like how it tastes.”

“Yeah, medicine usually doesn’t taste good. But it makes you feel better, doesn’t it?”

Fiona frowned, as if thinking about that. “Yeah,” she finally said. “I guess it does. Will Daddy keep feeling better?”

“I’m pretty sure he’ll feel better every day.”

“Good,” Fiona said, her lower lip trembling. “I don’t like it when Daddy is sick.”

“Of course you don’t. And your daddy doesn’t like it when you’re sick, either.”

Fiona thought about that for a moment. “Okay,” she finally said. “I don’t want him to help me with my homework ‘cause I don’t want his head to hurt.” She jumped to her feet and ran to the backpack, which she’d dropped next to the couch. “I’ll get my homework and we can work on it together.”

“Good plan,” Jo said.

Fiona had a page of math problems and a page of reading homework. Jo studied both of them, then asked, “Which one do you want to do first?”

“The math page,” she said immediately. “I like reading better than math.”

Jo smiled. “Good to do the one you like less first. Then it’s out of the way. Why don’t we sit at the kitchen table? It’ll be easier to write on the table.”

Fiona’s math page was addition problems. The girl smoothed it on the table, then reached into her backpack for her pencil pouch, unzipped it and removed a pencil.

“Is this what you studied in school today?” Jo asked.

Fiona nodded. “This is adshun. That’s what we’re working on.”

“Okay,” Jo said. She put her finger beside the first problem. Three plus two. “Do you know this one?” she asked.

Fiona counted on her fingers. “Five!” she said, beaming. “Three plus two is five.”

“Very good. How about this one? Four plus one?”

Fiona repeated the counting on her fingers. “That’s five, too!”

“Right.” They worked through all the problems on the page, and Fiona got them all right. Jo was pretty sure she’d have the addition tables memorized before too long.

“Okay,” Jo said. “What about your reading homework?”

Fiona slid her math paper into a folder, then pulled out another sheet. There were a series of simple words -- ‘and’, ‘the’, ‘let’, ‘cat’ were a few of them. She needed to sound them out and write them on the line below each word, then say what the word was.

Fiona flew through the reading page. She briefly struggled to sound out some of the words, but she got them all quickly. When she got to ‘cat’, she frowned. “I want a cat. But Daddy said no.”

“Did he tell you why?”

Fiona nodded. “I’m not old enough to take care of a kitty.”

“Well, that’s a good reason.” She tapped the page of words. “I’m very impressed, Fiona. You did this page really fast.”

The girl beamed at her. “I like reading better than math,” she said.

“You’re good at both of them, though,” Jo said. “You must take after your daddy. He was very smart in school. Did he tell you we went to school together?”

“No! Were you in his classes?” Fiona said, staring at Jo.

“Some of them. He was my best friend in high school.”

“Wow. You’ve known my Daddy for a long time. Because he’s old, and you are, too.”

Jo swallowed the laugh that wanted to escape. “You’re right about that,” she said. “Your dad and I are very old. Practically ancient.”

Fiona snickered. “You’re not ancient. Grandma and Pop Pop are ancient.”

Laughing, Jo put her finger to Fiona’s mouth. “Don’t let them hear you say that,” she said. “That would hurt their feelings.”

Fiona put a finger to her lip and mimed turning a key. Then she mimed throwing the key away.

“Good. Let’s keep that thought locked in your head instead of out in the open.” Jo stroked a hand over Fiona’s soft blond hair, letting the silky soft strands slide through her fingers. “You’re done with your homework, so what do you want to do now? You wanna watch TV?”

Fiona shook her head vigorously. “No. Can you read me a book?”

“Of course I can. What do you want to read?”

Fiona slid off the kitchen chair and ran to the bookcase that held children’s books. She came back clutching a paperback and handed it to Jo.

On the cover, five big-eyed cats perched on a tree branch, and Jo smiled. “ Catwings Return ,” she said, running her hand over the cover. “I loved this book when I was your age. Let’s go sit on the couch while we read it.”

Fiona clasped the book to her chest. “It’s my favorite. I have all of them.”

“I did, too,” Jo said, beaming at Fiona. “I’m excited to read it again.”

They were halfway through the book when Cam appeared in the living room. “ Catwings Returns ,” he said when he saw the book.

“Jo read Catwings when she was a little girl,” Fiona informed him. “It was her favorite, too.”

“Is that right?” Cam said with a tight smile.

Jo saw disapproval in Cam’s gaze, and she wondered why. “Why don’t you find a bookmark for Catwings Returns and put it back?” she said to Fiona. “We can finish it later.”

“Okay,” Fiona said, sliding off the couch.

“How do you feel?” she asked Cam. “Were you able to sleep?”

“Like a log,” he said. “And I feel better. My head doesn’t hurt as much. I feel almost human again.”

“That’s great,” she said. “Why don’t you spend some time with Fiona while I get dinner going?”

Without waiting for him to answer, she went into the kitchen and started the oven. Covered the mac and cheese with aluminum foil and slid it into the oven. She set a timer, then went to work chopping up the broccoli. She’d rarely cooked for anyone but herself, and she smiled at the thought that she, Cam and Fiona would eat this meal together.

An hour later, they sat down at the kitchen table, each of them with a plate of mac and cheese and roasted broccoli. When they were finished, Cam slung his arm over Fiona’s shoulders and said, “Say goodnight to Ms. Jo, Fiona. I’ll help you with your bath, then we’ll read a book before bed.”

Fiona ran over and hugged her waist. “Goodnight, Ms. Jo. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I’ll be here, Fiona. Sleep tight.” She saw Cam’s scowl and wondered what that was about.

The girl dashed down the hall to the bathroom, and Jo dropped onto the couch. Fiona was a sweet kid, and Jo had enjoyed spending time with her. She tilted her head back on the couch, and her eyes fluttered closed.

She startled awake when someone sat on the couch beside her. Shooting up, Jo looked around wildly. Calmed when she saw Cam beside her.

“Thank you for helping Fiona with her homework, then reading to her afterward,” he said, but his voice was cool. Stiff. “I appreciate it.”

Jo swiveled on the couch so she was facing him. “Is she asleep?” she asked.

“Yeah. She was asleep before she hit the bed. Big day today,” he said.

His voice was still cool. Controlled. And when Jo studied his face, she saw hints of anger.

“What are you pissed off about?” she asked him.

“Who said I’m pissed?”

She leaned back, drew a deep breath and resisted rolling her eyes. “How long have I known you, Cam?” He didn’t answer, but a muscle ticked in his jaw.

“I know your tells,” She said. “They’re no different than they were in high school. So don’t tell me you’re not pissed off.”

“Fiona was talking to you like you were a long-lost friend. Like you’d been buddies for years.”

“What?” Jo reared back. “You’re pissed off because I was trying to be nice to Fiona?”

“She’s going to get attached to you. And when you leave, she’ll be devastated.”

Ah. She saw where he was going. “Like she was devastated when her mother died?”

Cam shoved a hand through his short, dark hair but didn’t meet her eyes. “Yes. Exactly.”

“Not quite the same, Cam,” Jo said immediately. “I’m not her mother. She just met me. We did homework together and read a book. That’s it.”

“I don’t want her to get attached to you. You’re leaving soon. She’ll feel abandoned.”

“Really, Cam? She’ll be devastated when a woman she’s known for a few weeks leaves? I don’t think so.”

“Of course she will be. You’re someone new. Someone different. Someone paying attention to her.”

“Listen to yourself, Cam. It sounds like she never meets anyone new. Anyone different.” She leaned toward him, holding his gaze. “Does she ever have friends from school over here? Or does she ever go to a friend’s house to play?”

“Of course not.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not here after school. And I don’t want to ask my mom to do extra work.”

“It would actually be less work for your mom. Fiona and her friend would play together. Your mom wouldn’t have to focus all her attention on Fiona. And if Fiona had friends over, their mothers would ask Fiona to come play at her house.”

“Exactly. And I don’t want…” He looked away from Jo. His throat rippled as he swallowed.

“What don’t you want, Cam?” Jo asked softly. She put her hand on his arm. “You don’t want her to have friends? Go to someone’s house after school? Have someone over to her house?”

He looked away, his jaw working.

Jo squeezed his arm. “That’s how it works, Cam,” she said. “That’s how kids make friends. And kids her age need friends. Hasn’t she ever said anything to you about that?”

He avoided her gaze. Swallowed, but didn’t answer. Which meant Fiona had asked about friends.

“I get that losing your wife, Fiona losing her mom, was awful. Traumatic. But you can’t let that define your life. If you don’t let Fiona do what other kids her age do, you’re going to damage her. She’ll have a hard time making friends when she’s older. She’ll be excluded from the cliques and the friend groups. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why are you trying to shrink wrap her and keep her in this house with you? Why aren’t you trying to find friends for her?”

“You didn’t see her when Ashley died,” he said. “She stood in the window for hours, watching for her mommy to come home. And of course Ashley never did. Couldn’t.”

“Did you explain to her that her mother had died?”

He looked away from her. “I told her Ashley had gone away.”

Jo wanted to roll her eyes, instead, she grabbed the front of Cam’s shirt and forced him to look at her. “You’re an idiot, Cam. Of course she was looking for Ashley to come back if she thought she’d just gone away. Of course she wondered where her mommy was.”

“Was I supposed to tell her that her mommy had died?”

“Yes! You should have told her that her mommy was in heaven. You shouldn’t have let her believe there was a chance Ashley was coming home.” Jo slumped back on the couch. “I thought you were a smart guy, Cam. But you sure handled this like a complete dumbass.”

“Sorry,” he said, his voice tight. “She’s my daughter. I’m doing what I think is best.”

“Did you ever take her to a therapist after Ashley died?”

“Of course not! She was only three!”

“Then maybe you should have gone yourself, so you could get some help with helping Fiona. I think you’re making a huge mistake, and I think you’ll come to regret it. I think you still have time to change things, but you need to get moving.” Jo swallowed the lump in her throat at the picture Cam was drawing of Fiona’s life. “Do you have any idea how isolated you’ve made her? How you’ve cut her off from normal… normal life ?”

When Cam didn’t answer, Jo stood up. “I’m going to bed. I’ve already checked and all the doors and windows are locked. Don’t close your door tonight, or Fiona’s. My door will be open as well. I’ll see you in the morning, Cam.”

She felt his gaze on her until she turned into the bathroom and closed the door.