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The two of them made me realize it was real—the type of love that people talked about in songs and books and movies.

It did exist. At least…it existed for girls like Mer.

I had a feeling Mer would drop skating in a second if it meant being with Colt, and I think Colt would drop hockey to be with her.

I just…I wasn’t sure that would ever be me.

Mer was a doe-eyed Disney princess type of girl who loved everyone and hated competition.

I craved it. I craved the chance to prove myself.

I craved the win. Sometimes I wished I could be more like —

“I wish I was more like Colt,” Kappy said aloud.

My neck snapped over to him. How the hell were we thinking almost the exact same thing?

“He always says the right thing, ya know?” He readjusted his beanie. “And they found each other. They know what they’re doing.”

My eyes locked on his dark ones. “Yeah, but they found each other too…” I trailed off because I didn’t want to say it.

“Early.” He nodded with a grimace.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I want that, but…I’m too selfish right now.”

He rolled his lips together. “I get it. Completely.” He pulled his hands back, and I swear a whimper involuntarily ripped from my throat. My face immediately burned with embarrassment. He just grinned like he was pleased before resuming the massage. “What’s your biggest dream?”

“Winning,” I said without hesitation. “The Olympics. That’s all I want. That’s all I think about.”

“Really?” He studied me for a second. “I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“What did you think?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. What about buying a house? Getting married?”

I almost laughed. “Haven’t thought too much about that stuff to be honest.”

“You haven’t?” His face scrunched. “What about your mantel picture?”

“What?” Now I fully laughed.

“Yeah.” His cheeks flamed a little as he struggled to contain a grin. “Like in your future house. Everyone puts their wedding picture above the fireplace, up on their mantel, ya know?”

“Well, not me,” I mused, staring up at the stars starting to appear in the darkening sky.

“For one, I don’t think I even want a house.

” I cocked my head to the side in thought.

“I want a penthouse in a big, bustling city. And as for my mantel picture, it’ll be me and my partner up on the podium at the Olympics. ”

“Oh…” He frowned at the snow, lost in thought for a beat. “Okay, I guess. Penthouses are pretty pricey.”

I took the opportunity to openly study his face.

He changed this past year. His jawline was more defined, and he’d broken his nose in a game a couple months ago so there was a slight notch in it now, but it seemed to perfect his rugged look.

The only boyish thing about him now were his cute dimples that still popped out when he gave a genuine smile. “What’s your dream?” I dared to ask.

“Uh…” He adjusted his beanie and looked out to the pond, a sheepish grin on his face. “To be in a mantel picture.”

“It is not ,” I burst out, because he could not be serious. What teenage boy dreamed about that? I swatted at his chest. His eyes lingered on my hand, but his face remained serious, making me feel a twinge of regret for laughing at him. “What about the NHL?” I pushed.

“Yeah, of course that’s a goal.” He shifted his muscular legs.

“But that’s more in my control, ya know?

If I work hard and focus, I’ll get there.

Simple. I just need the time to get there.

The mantel picture though…” The corner of his lip quirked up.

“That takes two people. Someone would have to choose me.” His eyes dipped.

A tiny, almost sheepish smile crossed his face, almost as if he were admitting, yeah, I know it’s lame, and my heart squeezed in my chest.

In a daring move, I reached out and touched his cheek with my gloved hand. “You don’t think someone would choose you?”

He licked his lips and arched an eyebrow. “I’m the dumb, funny one, aren’t I?” he joked, but I didn’t laugh.

“You’re funny, but we both know you’re not dumb.

” I was the one who saw him studying every day at the rink and working on Math homework that was way beyond my level.

I swiped my thumb under his eye, right over his little birthmark, and his eyes fell closed.

“A girl would have to be crazy not to choose you, Richard,” I whispered.

His Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow, and his chocolate brown eyes flashed to mine. “Y-you think?”

“Whoa, it looks way too serious over here,” JP said. “Wait, are you two actually getting along?”

Feeling caught, I immediately snatched my hand back. I tried to pull my legs away from him, but Kappy held firm and kept massaging them.

“Ooh, I need some hot chocolate,” Ali said, coming up behind JP. “Shouldn’t they get off the ice?” she asked, glancing back at Mer and Colt still on the frozen pond. “It’s getting late, no one will be able to come help if something happens,” she added in a worried voice.

“Yeah, that’s true.” JP cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Colt! Mer!” He twirled his finger in a wrap-it-up motion like a coach.

Without hesitation, Colt scooped up Mer like a bride and carried her over to our little campsite.

Kappy motioned to the empty ice. “Look boys, it’s our defensive line,” he joked, making JP and Colt crack up laughing.

He gave me a secret little smirk, and I knew the serious version of him, the one that asked deep, probing questions and discussed hopes and dreams of the future, was gone for now, and the goofball “Kappy” version of him was out to play.

As we sat around the fire, the boys all chirped hockey insults at each other, making the rest of us laugh.

“At least I’m not the one who poops for a fucking hour before games,” Colt quipped at Kappy. Mer smacked her boyfriend’s chest for being gross.

“Hey, it makes me lighter on my skates,” Kappy defended himself with a proud smirk. “You should try it some time.”

“Ew,” us girls chorused.

Kappy shrugged. “And at least I’m not so whipped that I’m literally blowing on my girlfriend’s toes to warm them up.”

Mer slapped a hand over her mouth to contain her laughter. Colt just gave a shit-eating grin while holding Mer’s sock. “These toes are important for triples. And at least I’m not the one who broke the zamboni last week.”

Ali practically choked on her hot chocolate. JP started patting her back, concern etched on his face. “That was you?” she sputtered out between coughs.

Kappy was trying awfully hard to keep a straight face.

“I’d bet all my savings that it was him,” Colt said, leveling Kappy with a challenging stare. “I thought Hans was gonna kill someone. His throat veins were all bulging, and his face went all red.”

Kappy finally broke and started laughing. “Haven’t you guys wanted to try it before? It was just sitting there, calling to me!”

The group busted up laughing.

“Tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Kappy challenged.

“Sure, maybe if I had permission,” Colt said. “But you car-jacked it and got it stuck, man. Remind me to never let you be in charge of the getaway car.”

“Getaway car? When are you gonna need one of those?” Mer asked, patting Colt’s cheek.

“You never know with these two, babe,” he answered her, pointing at JP and Kappy.

“Hey, I’d be a perfect getaway driver,” Kappy argued, puffing his chest out.

JP scoffed as he threw another log on the fire. “The zam was stuck in the middle of the ice for hours. They had to delay games.”

Kappy held his hands up. “Yeah, well, it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“I bet I could do it,” I blurted out.

Ali snorted a laugh and choked on her drink again.

With a grimace, JP patted her back again. “Let’s just…be done with this,” he said, taking her hot chocolate away.

Kappy arched an amused eyebrow at me. “And I bet you couldn’t.”

“Let’s bet on it then,” I directed to Kappy, ignoring the group. Really, how hard could driving a zam actually be? It was just like a car…probably. “What’s the wager?”

“Shit, you guys get this text?” Colt interrupted, holding up his phone. “Coach just added another practice. I think he’s trying to kill us.”

My question went unanswered, but Kappy’s eyes lingered on mine while the boys discussed their team.

Around midnight, we finally killed the fire and trudged through the deep snow back to the cars.

I was dumping everything in the trunk when someone came up behind me, making me yelp.

A low rumble of a chuckle filled my ear, and I immediately knew it was Kappy. He was so close to me, but it was like there was an invisible barrier between us that he didn’t dare cross. He kept his hands to himself as he dipped to whisper, “A kiss,” making goosebumps break out across my neck.

________

That’s how I found myself sitting up in the zam’s driver seat on the West side rink of Centre Ice.

I had it going smooth for the most part. It was almost like driving a car, except I also had to manage the lever that pumped water onto the ice. I knew the lap pattern of a zam by heart from watching it through my entire life, so I kept on track pretty easily.

After a couple laps, I smirked triumphantly at Kappy.

He took off his snapback and held it out to me.

Yup, that’s right. Hats off to me , I thought with a satisfied giggle.

Things were going great, until I tried to turn and go over the very last sliver of un-zammed ice.

I must’ve cranked the wheel too hard because a weird groan erupted from the machine. The wheels grinded to a sudden halt, making me jerk forward and slam into the wheel.

“What in the world?” I muttered to myself. I tried cranking it to life again, but the engine wouldn’t turn over. I smacked the side of the machine, hoping to jolt it to life. My eyes snapped to Kappy, who was laughing at his place by the boards.

“What do I do?” I yelled across the ice.

He shrugged. “Told you it’s harder than it looks!”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I helplessly looked around.