Page 9

9

AMELIA

I’m too tired, and the coffee hasn’t kicked in, when I hear a knock on my door. Lyla screams, just like she’s been screaming for the last hour because I wouldn’t let her have my breakfast, which consisted of grapefruit slices and grapes alongside a bagel full of cream cheese. Sure, I shared my cream cheese in tiny bits on her tongue, but it wasn’t enough, and she refuses to let me forget it.

After bouncing her for fifteen minutes, trying to soothe her, I figured it was best to let her self-soothe in her jumper. But the soothing has yet to commence, even though she’s bouncing like a spring.

“Coming,” I say, wondering who the hell could be here at the tender hour of eight a.m. The mailman usually leaves everything on the stoop, and I haven’t gotten any packages or anything…

I wipe my tired eyes when I open the door, and instantly take a step back.

There on my porch, dressed in a blue button-down with the sleeves rolled up, in a dark pair of jeans, holding a carrier of coffees and… flowers …is Dane.

“Good morning,” he says with that soft smile that makes my insides melt.

In so many ways that smile is familiar, but in so many ways it’s different too. When Dex smiled, it never reached his eyes, but when Dane smiles…it’s like the whole world lights up.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, breathless. He stopped by last week, after watching Lyla. Said he was in the neighborhood, and I believed him. He dropped off a box of stuff for Lyla, which I tried to refuse, but of course he wasn’t having it.

He brought me coffee then too.

My heart leaps, wondering if this is going to be a habit. Do I want it to be?

The fact that I can’t say no should be concerning to me, but I have no time to think about any of that when Lyla belts out another scream, and I close my eyes.

“Hold that thought,” he says as I open my eyes and he enters my house without hesitation. I sigh, watching him set down the cup carrier and the flowers on my kitchen table, amidst the mess of mail, empty bowls and glasses, and a used diaper that I must have forgotten to throw away this morning.

Panic laces through me. My house is a wreck, my child is screaming, and I…

I take one look at myself in my oversized pajamas, feeling my hair slipping out of its messy bun, and I have never felt worse. I’m embarrassed on so many levels.

“Dane…”

But before I can get the words out, he’s got Lyla out of her swing. She screams, her little face all pink and angry as she balls her fist on his shoulder.

“Tell me all about it, sweetheart,” he says softly as he bounces her back and forth, running his hand up and down her back.

All the words get caught in my throat, my legs numb as I watch him with her.

That strange, warm feeling spreads in my stomach, the nagging question of what if forming once more.

What if Dex hadn’t shown up that night?

What if I’d picked Dane instead?

But before I can even let my mind wander down that path, he turns to me, capturing my gaze. I head over to the kitchen table, immediately trying to clear it. In a flash, his hand settles on my wrist. I freeze.

“Sit down,” he says softly. “I got this.”

“Dane…”

“Don’t argue with me,” he says, the command in his voice evident, and I have to remember to breathe because it goes straight to my…

No. No, Mia, bad idea!

“You don’t have to?—”

“Amelia, I want to. Is that so hard to believe?” he asks, and something about his words hits me harder than anything else. Tears threaten to pool in my eyes.

“I’m sorry, I just?—”

I sit down in my chair, and it’s only then I notice Lyla’s crying has stopped.

I look up to see him rubbing her back still, bouncing from side to side. Her eyelashes flutter, and I can see she’s on her way to slumber.

Of courses, he looks like her dad. That’s why she settles so easily, I tell myself. She doesn’t know the difference.

Hell, I have to remind myself every time I look at Dane, he’s not him.

He’s not cocky or charismatic or bold or brash.

He’s soft around the edges, sweet in the center like a molten lava cake. He’s comfort and warmth, and he’s staring at me like I’m an angel, in my messy kitchen, while I’m dressed in the same pajamas I’ve been living in for two days.

I have to force myself to look away from him, my gaze settling on the flowers he brought.

He brought me flowers…

“In the neighborhood again?” I ask, reaching for the plastic wrapped around the stems.

“Something like that,” he says as he comes to sit in the chair beside me. He doesn’t move, just shifts Lyla on his shoulder. He cradles her tiny body with ease and she looks so small in his big arms. But perfect, nonetheless.

“What are you doing, Dane?” I ask calmly. I swallow, the nerves getting the best of me. I stare at the flowers. They’re daisies. My favorite.

He looks at me softly before he says, “Taking care of you.”

“I didn’t ask you to?—”

“You don’t have to, Amelia. That’s the thing. You shouldn’t have to ask for the basics, because you deserve so much more than what he…” He sucks in a breath. “I know it’s not the same. But his actions broke us too, you know.”

I have to turn away, the tears threatening to spill out.

“You just deserve better, Amelia. You both do.” He gets up, and I think he’s going to put Lyla back in her jumper, but he doesn’t. He walks over to me, pulling me close with one arm, and I close my eyes. I breathe in his cologne, lean into his warmth.

The tears come without warning, and within a moment, I feel his hand on my back, rubbing up and down.

“It’s okay,” he says, his voice soft, tinged with his own emotion. I want to push him away. To tell him this…this is not how it should have gone. I shouldn’t even be here, like this. But…

I open my eyes, glancing up at him. “No, it’s not. It sucks,” I say, and he gives me a half-hearted grin.

“You know what I think you need?” he asks.

“What?” I ask through tears and laughter.

“We’ve got a game next week. I think you should come. Get out and breathe some fresh air. Have some fun.”

He leaves me in my chair, heading down the hall, and I know exactly where he’s headed. I get up without thinking, following him to Lyla’s room. I hold myself tight as I stand in the doorway, watching him lay her in her crib.

She’s out like a light.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Dane.”

“Why not?” he asks, sliding his hands into his pockets. He leans against the opposite side of the doorframe, bracing one hand out to prop himself up. The motion puts him over top of me, but not in a menacing way. If anything, it strangely settles my racing heart. He looks down at me, and I swallow harshly as my gaze dips to his mouth before finding his eyes.

The words are sharper than they should be, and I hate myself for saying them, but they’re the truth.

“Because…”

“Don’t you dare say it’s because of him ,” Dane says sternly. “Because that’s bullshit.”

I cross my arms. “No, it’s not, you’re?—”

“I’m not Dex,” he says, pushing off the frame and leaning closer to me. His cologne smells good, and his looming stature makes my entire body flush with heat.

“No, you’re not,” I say, but looking at him right now, my brain and my heart are in disagreement. It’s torture, looking at him, like this, knowing the way my body responds of its own accord.

“Then stop looking at me like I am.”

It’s my turn to step closer to him, but I can’t take my eyes off of him.

“I can’t help it, Dane,” I tell him. “I just…” I swallow nervously as his gaze holds mine. He pushes some hair behind my ear and my entire body reacts with a shiver. “I kind of swore off hockey.” Among…other things. Like very hot, very identical twin brothers who make my pulse race.

He smirks. “It’s just a game, Mia.” But the way he says the words, the way he says my name…I know it’s not.

I lean into his touch, unable to help myself. There’s a sort of magnetism between us that feels impossible to fight.

But I know I should. I really, really should.

Because not only is Dane a hockey player, he’s my ex’s brother…

But that didn’t stop me from kissing Tripp…

I try to push the thought out of my head. Yes, I kissed Tripp. But it was…just a heat of the moment thing. It felt right, at the time, but I also know that’s who Tripp is. He’s spontaneous, he’s young. He probably kisses girls all the time. It doesn’t mean he’s jumping to settle down, by any means. Yes, we’ve been chatting through the week, mostly just him sending me stupid memes, but it’s not like we’ve talked about what happened, and I’m sure it won’t happen again.

Even if I wanted it to…

But Dane is so much more dangerous. Because I can’t stop thinking about that night.

The night I saw him from across the room, watching me.

And when I’d made my way over to talk to him, I felt that magnetism then.

Then Dexter slid up to the bar, turned on his perfect, charming smile, and how could I resist him?

“Don’t let one bad apple ruin the pie,” Dane says softly, leaning back.

“I don’t have a sitter,” I say, hiding behind my daughter like some shield.

Dane smirks, crossing his arms. “That wasn’t a no,” he says.

“Uh…yes, it is. I can’t exactly leave Lyla here by herself, and?—”

“I’ll take care of that,” he says sternly. “As long as you say yes.”

I look to Lyla in her crib, still sleeping so soundly, then back at Dane. There’s something about the way he stands there, the tone of his voice, his body language. How he just…asserts himself.

I’ve only ever known Dane to be quiet and reserved, so this…

This isn’t a bad look on him at all, to be honest. I kind of…like it.

Well, I kind of more than like it, if the sudden moisture blooming between my thighs is any indication.

Bad idea, Amelia…

“I mean, a night with the grandparents wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” He turns to look at her, lying in her crib, and suddenly I feel an intense bout of guilt.

I haven’t given much thought to Dex’s parents, figuring they’d want nothing to do with me given the circumstances. Honestly, I’d thought the same about his brothers, but…

But Dane, Rich, and Tripp don’t seem to be pissed at me , not like I expected them to be. Instead, they’ve been oddly…welcoming.

Helpful.

And I can’t deny that they’ve all made me feel a little better too.

Maybe I should take him up on his offer. Get over my fear of the game, and give Lyla some alone time with her grandparents. Well, the ones that are here, anyway.

And I could use a night out. The other night at the aquarium with Tripp was fun, even though I had Lyla. But the idea, the prospect of doing something on my own , just some adult time…sounds very tempting.

Almost as tempting as Dane and the way his forearms flex as he settles his hands in his pockets.

“Okay,” I say, and he turns to face me.

His smirk turns into a full-blown smile. “Atta girl,” he says, and my insides heat like a fire. I lean into his space without thinking, aware of just how close his mouth his to mine. His gaze drifts there, hovering as he licks his lips, and then there’s a very loud, very distinct chirping sound as his cell dings.

Saved by the obnoxious ringtone.

“Shit, I uh…”

“It’s fine,” I say, taking a step back into the room.

“Catch up later?” he asks, and I can see the hope in his eyes.

I nod. “Sure.”

I run my fingers over Lyla’s hair, letting out a breath as I hear the door shut.

What the hell have I agreed to?

And why can’t I seem to stop?