Page 40 of My End

Then I lowered my legs, and he stepped back.

“I’ll see you at breakfast?” I whispered, my pulse still pounding.

He nodded. “Not going anywhere, sweetheart.”

I gave him one last look I hoped saidthis isn’t over, then I slipped out the door and closed it gently behind me.

I leaned back against it with a shaky breath.

I had just come to Jake’s room to ask what he meant when he told me to be careful.

Now?

Now I had a whole other question.

What was that, and when could we do it again?

Chapter Seventeen

Stretch

I couldn’t sleep. Again.

I’d been off rotation for hours, and even though I’d tried to lay down, I still ended up pacing my damn room like a caged animal. My sleep schedule was shot. Working night shifts, keeping eyes on Boone and Gibbs, ducking around cameras, playing a game I wasn’t even allowed to admit I was in… it had fried whatever normal I had left.

So I ended up here. In the garden.

It was quiet. I rubbed a hand over my jaw, then reached for the lighter in my pocket. Lit a cigarette I didn’t even want because I just needed something to do with my hands.

The trees around the edge of the garden were shadows now. Black shapes swaying in the wind. Beyond them, the rest of the estate sprawled in cold silence. I could just barely hear the hum of security. A faint electrical buzz from the perimeter fence.

And behind me?

A house full of secrets.

I exhaled slowly. Smoke curled from my mouth like regret.

Tilly.

I hadn’t seen her all day since our kiss last night.

Fuck, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The way she looked at me like I was something good, something real. I wasn’t. I was a liar. An infiltrator. A fucking wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But she made me feel like a man again. Like maybe there was still something left to salvage in me.

And then I’d told her to be careful.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid.

She didn’t know anything. And that was the damn point. Boone had kept her in the dark because he wanted to protect his image, not her. And now, now I was the one risking everything by letting myself get close.

I took another drag.

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered.

I shouldn’t have let her in my room.

I shouldn’t have kissed her.