Page 9 of My Cowboy Boss (Lucky River Cowboys #2)

Flint

I pack up the remnant of our lunch, then pat my stomach. “Let’s walk it off.” I hold out my hand and she slides hers into it.

“I can’t believe we’re still naked,” she glances down at herself, and a blush stains her cheeks.

“There’s no one around for miles and trust me, honey. You don’ have a damn thing to be embarrassed about.”

“But if someone did see me naked—”

“I’d go apeshit, beat on my chest, and chase them off.”

Arizona laughs and pushes against my arm.

I squint in the sunlight. “We didn’t bring any sunscreen so it’s better for us to stick to the shade.” I gesture to the tree with its wide, leafy branches. “Can you climb?”

“Like a champ.” She sprints toward the tree.

I chase after her and we climb to the lowest branches. “Bark is hard on the ass,” I comment.

“I was thinking the same thing,” she says with a laugh.

I look out across the expanse of land stretching before us. “This is my favorite spot on the ranch. My folks told us we were welcome to whatever acreage we wanted and for me, it’s this place. I dream of building a house here.”

“Do you come out here a lot?”

“Not a lot because we’ve all been busy working trying to save the ranch. But when I get a spare moment, I do. I’ve always wanted a family of my own. A wife and kids. Never thought I’d survive long enough to have that.”

She puts a hand on my shoulder.

And it’s that touch, that bit of I’m-here-with-you that has me opening up about a past I try hard to avoid thinking about much less sharing.

“I was in a place called The Gentle Children’s Home.” The words are bitter across my tongue. “The people running the place used to lock me up in windowless closets that were filled with junk.”

“That’s why you like the windows open, and you get testy when things are a mess like the office paperwork.”

I nod. “Sorry I was grumpy with you about that.”

“It’s okay. I understand now,” she says softly.

I swallow hard, trying to hold back floodgates but the pain of the past is a wall of water I can’t restrain. “Every night I had to do something to earn food. That’s why one of the first things I asked Dad was what I’d have to do to get dinner.”

Arizona makes a sniffing sound.

“The last couple of weeks I was there, every day when it was time to eat, they said if I wanted a bite of food, I’d have to stand out in the cold in just my underwear and I’d have to beat Wilder.”

I remember the determined set to Wilder’s jaw when he told me to hit him. I remember how scared River was when he sneaked me a piece of sandwich bread and almost got caught.

“I nearly froze and starved,” I say and the leaves rustle like they’re catching my words, taking the pain of that moment and carrying them off on the wind.

“Oh, Flint…”

I look at Arizona, at the tears trickling down her beautiful face. I wipe them away. “It’s okay, honey. I made it.”

“I guess we’re a couple of survivors.”

“What happened with you?” I ask gently.

“I lost my parents in a car accident and the shock was too much. At first, I’d hide in the attic. Then later I used to sit on this huge swing in our backyard. It’s where my parents would go to talk when they didn’t agree on stuff and needed to discuss something they didn’t want us to overhear.”

She twists her hands together and I cover them with one of mine.

“My dad built it. He was great at making stuff. And my mom…she could cook so well and they loved to dance together in the living room.” Arizona’s lips tremble. “I was sitting on that swing when the house got foreclosed on and just like that, I had no place to go.”

My heart burns at her words. I want to wrap myself around this woman. I want to protect her heart for the rest of my life. I want to be the place where she always has a home.

I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and she looks deep into my eyes.

“Today has been amazing. Thank you,” she says. “But…”

“But?”

“I’m about to be one with the tree if the bark digs any deeper into my ass.”

I laugh and climb down, then hold my arms up to help her down. I kiss her gently knowing that I’m all in with this woman, the only one I can imagine building a home for.

Arizona

Flint looks like he’s about to say something but when I ask him what, he shakes his head.

We ride back to the ranch in the late afternoon.

“Stay for supper?” he asks once we take care of the horses.

“I can’t.” My sister will be home for dinner, and I don’t want her to have to fend for herself. “I need to get home.”

He looks disappointed. “Then I guess I’ll see you Monday?”

“You will, boss,” I say and his eyes flash.

“I’m going to get hard every time you call me boss.”

“Oh, no, boss” I say, eyes wide.

He growls and takes a step forward.

“There you are!” Wilder calls, jogging across the yard to us. “Marshall needs our help. The bull broke through the fence, and we got go round his ass up.”

“He probably broke out to find River. He thinks they’re brothers or something.”

Marshall grins at me. “River rescued that bull when it was tiny, and it acts like a big dog now wanting to be petted all the time.”

“I’ll leave you to your bull finding,” I say, opening my car door.

Flint waits until I’m in, then he closes it.

I drive forward glancing at him in the rearview mirror. He stands in the driveway watching me until Wilder says something to him and then he turns away.

Halfway home, the doubts throw themselves at me. And the guilt that was once a small seed has grown into a forest now.

I’m flushed as I walk into the apartment. Riddled with what I should have said and shouldn’t have done to and with Flint.

My sister, who can read me like a book, straightens up instantly from where she’s relaxing on the couch. “What is it?”

“I fucked up so bad.”

“We can fix it. Just tell me.”

“I slept with my boss. I mean your boss. I love him. I didn’t know I loved him, but I do and I’m so sorry.” I sob into my hands. “When I tell him the truth, he’ll fire me. I mean you. Us. Whatever.”

“Oh, Sis.” Aspen pulls me into a hug and pats my back the way she used to do when I was younger. “It’s okay. I’ll find something else.”

“What should I do?” I lift my head. “I can’t lie to him about this anymore and I don’t want to.

I don’t want him to be hurt. I can’t believe I talked you into this situation and now he’ll be hurt and you’ll be hurt and me, too.

” I press my hand against my stomach. “I feel so nauseated by everything.”

“That’s because you’re a good person and you want to do the right thing.”

“I do.” I grab a tissue to wipe my nose.

“You have to tell him the truth and if he does choose to fire you, at least it’ll be a clean break. Do you need me there?”

“No. I’m the one that created this mess so I’m the one who should handle it.”

“But if he gets angry—”

“He might but Flint isn’t mean. The worst he’ll do is tell me to leave the ranch.” That thought fills me with desolation. How could I not have known I’d fallen for my boss? No wonder I felt so thrilled whenever he was around.

“You need to keep your energy up. I bought an extra salad while I was out today and put it in the refrigerator for you,” Aspen says.

I’m afraid if I eat something it’ll only taste like sawdust but my sister looks worried so I put half of the food on a plate and quickly eat it.

The rest of the day drags on and turns into night. Sunday is the same.

I go to bed but toss and turn, unable to sleep except in short fits. I jolt awake repeatedly from dreams of Flint. In them, after I tell him how I lied, he turns his back to me and walks away. No matter how loudly I call his name or how long I chase him, I can’t reach him.

By the time Monday morning dawns, I’m an exhausted mess.

Foregoing wearing my sister’s usual attire, I dress in a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, then get my sneakers from where I’d left them. I’m leaving earlier than I normally do because I want to stop in town and get something sweet from Dough Corner for Flint and his brothers.

I guess I want something good to come from my final goodbye.

After I buy a large order of cinnamon rolls, the drive to the ranch is over much too fast. When I pull into the driveway, Flint bounds down the porch steps, smiling and so handsome that I feel a physical pain in my heart.

Grabbing the bag of treats, I step out of the car and walk toward him knowing this is the beginning of the end.