Page 38

The wine is a little too sweet, and it isn’t cold at all, but it hits the spot nonetheless. I glance outside and see that the sun is going down. I haven’t even taken a tour of the land yet to figure out how I’m going to set up my vineyard.

There are so many technical details to put together, including a map of the terrain with soil and lighting specifications. An irrigation system. I need another sip before I overwhelm myself on the first day here.

“Let’s go for a walk,” I suggest.

“Absolutely. But we’re taking the bottle with us,” Janet says.

“No argument here.”

It’s too early to start mapping out rows or creating scaffolding for the grapes, but I can get a general sense of what’s what. I already know that I don’t have to grow the grapes from seeds. But even with a healthy starter crop, it will take a year or two for the fruit to mature.

“Let me wash up for a second,” Janet says, hurrying upstairs to change.

“I’ll be here with my many, many… MANY thoughts.”

“We’ve got this, Mac. Don’t get overwhelmed.”

“So, we’ve got hot and cold water running,” she’s back downstairs in just a few minutes. “It’ll take a while for the hot water to come through, though. I only got a tepid stream. But it seems clean enough.”

She’s wearing a heavy sweater and a knit hat, making her look like someone out of a Christmas catalog.

“Did you check out the shower?” I wonder. “I’m not sure if we’re going to be able to use it right away.”

“I poked my head into the upstairs bathroom,” she reports. “And you’re right. We should do that next, either when we get back to the house or early tomorrow morning. The pipes were singing like sopranos up there, but I didn’t notice leaks anywhere. The sinks are definitely good.”

“I can’t believe you’re willing to do all this with me,” I respond, walking out the door and into the crisp evening air. “Did you ever think you would be moving all the way out to the boondocks on a whim?”

“Hey, it wasn’t a whim—it was a calculated emotional decision in an increasingly volatile socioeconomic landscape,” Janet counters.

“Hot damn, that’s one hell of a take.”

“It’s the truth. If you have the opportunity to work remotely, you take it. There is so much more to life than wasting away in a cubicle for way too many hours per week. It just isn’t worth it if you find better options. This, for me, is a better option.”

“Still, I’ll never be able to thank you for doing this. It takes guts, Jan.”

“I’m the lucky one,” she says with a wry smile. “Too bad for those Anderson guys, if you think about it. This house would’ve definitely been big enough for the four of you.”

“The thought did cross my mind,” I confess. “Before we broke up, I considered asking them to come with me. They could work from pretty much anywhere, given the nature of their business. But, you know what, Jan? Their loss is my gain. I couldn’t imagine doing this without you.”

“It means a lot,” she replies. “And when you’re ready, you know… I am here. If you want to talk about them, about what it was like, about how it ended the way it ended.”

I sigh deeply. “Thank you.”

“It’s written all over your face, Mac. You’re in a lot of pain.”

“It will pass. Everything passes, right?” I lie to myself, hoping she’ll support this small delusion of mine. But Janet doesn’t respond. Her eyes tell me enough, though. She’s not buying it, either.

We walk around the opposite side of the house where a small path leads down between two massive fields.

They’re both overgrown and riddled with weeds, but I can tell that at one point, they were farming land.

The weeds themselves grow in straight lines, something that could only be accomplished after domesticated use.

“If we can clear all this out, then I can set up the supports right here,” I say, gesturing toward the middle row.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds good to me,” she laughs lightly.

I sigh deeply, wishing that I could just wipe the slate clean and forget everything that happened to me halfway around the world. It would be so easy to turn the page and begin a new story, instead of rehashing the old one that caused me so much pain.

“You’re right, Jan.I do need to talk about this,” I surrender with a roll of my eyes.

She gives me a subtle smile. “And I’m here. Listening.”

“First, let me start with what you said earlier. I know that you’ve given up a lot to help me out here, so I would never push you aside, even if my guys came back into my life,” I reply.

“Your guys…”

“I don’t know how else to call them,” I reply with a shrug. “My boyfriends? My lovers? My friends-turned-lovers? It sounds weird however I put it.”

“It sounds weird because there’s more than one,” she quips. “But it’s okay, Mac, I promise. And I get it.”

“Truth is… I still care about them, and I think I always will. But this vineyard is yours and mine, and so you don’t have to worry about me settling for you to be a part of it or about me ever pushing you aside, should the Anderson triplets and I ever find our way back to each other.”

“I know, honey…”

“Second… I’m pretty sure they cheated with that tits-and-ass chick I mentioned. While we were there.”

“In Sweden? Seriously?”

“I have proof that they cheated, so I’m really not interested in them anymore.”

“What kind of proof do you have?” Janet wonders.

“I overheard them talking—they basically confirmed everything Melanie?—”

“Melanie?”

“Tits-and-ass. Everything Melanie said,” I respond, leaning into the anger that threatens to consume me whenever I pause to take a break.

As long as I’m working or concentrating on something else, I’m fine.

But in those spare moments when nothing is happening, I can feel the rage still simmering in my bones.

“I thought she was lying at first. I thought maybe she was just bitter when she realized that I had something going on with them. But when I heard them… Jan, it broke me.”

“They actually said they slept with her?” Janet presses.

“I know you’re trying to give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe cast suspicion on what Melanie said, that maybe I twisted their words or… I don’t know, maybe I didn’t hear the whole thing, but I wish you wouldn’t ask me to relive those painful moments.”

Janet offers a shrug. “I really am trying to get the full story here. We tend to forget crucial details in the heat of the moment.”

“They said what they said,” I reply. “Trust me, I’m not going to get back together with them. It was a one-time thing. Maybe I’ll just go back to dating one man, and I’ll get married and raise a typical family and this’ll be a blip in an otherwise ordinary life.”

Janet studies me carefully, and I can’t tell what she’s thinking until she bursts out laughing.

“Girl? You? You’re never going to settle.

Whoever you end up with is going to be perfect for you, I have no doubt.

Whether it’s one man, or three or five, the number isn’t important. Don’t sell yourself short.”

I nibble on my bottom lip, considering the good parts of the affair. “I really did like being with all three of them at once.”

“I bet!” Janet shouts, startling a few birds out of the field. “I need more alcohol for the details of this particular aspect of the affair, so… glad we’ve got a bottle of white to back to.”

“It was intense. On a different level,” I say, my mind slipping back to that hot tub. “Maybe it was the emotional connection that I had with them, maybe it amplified everything about the experience.”

“Maybe it wasn’t just you,” she replies. “Maybe they, too, played their cards right. I’m guessing six hands were better than two.”

“Oh, yes.”

“And three mouths were better than one.”

“You can say that again.”

“And three cocks—” Janet is about to go overboard so I raise my wine mug to stop her.

“That’s enough,” I laugh. “But yes.”

She gives me a long, curious look. “You miss them.”

“So much already…”

“Did you give them a chance to explain the whole thing with Melanie, then? You overheard them or eavesdropped or whatever. But did you confront them about it?”

I lower my gaze—I’ve been doing that a lot lately. “No.”

“Don’t you think you should?”

“I don’t think it matters anymore. I was there.

They could’ve told me. The entire situation could’ve been handled differently, but…

to be honest, I was already hurting. I have feelings for these men, Janet.

Feelings which I doubt are compatible with a menage of four.

I was hopeful that we might figure out a way to make it work, but?—”

“But learning about their affair with Melanie was the much-needed nail in a coffin you were already building, right?”

I stop and turn to look at her. “The way you’re saying it…”

“It’s not wrong nor right. Your reaction, I mean.

It was already a complicated situation. I get it,” Janet says.

“I’m just saying… You were in quite the rush to get out of there.

Maybe you already knew that it wasn’t going to work out, hence your decision to vamoose without even confronting them about it. ”

That’s food for thought and then some.

I didn’t consider it this way. Granted, I was so hurt, so offended, I set my reason aside altogether. My decision to leave was purely emotional, and the way I left things… There wasn’t room for any kind of do-over.

“It’s too late now, anyway,” I conclude. “It’s over. There’s no turning back.”