Page 15 of Muted Voices (Broken Ashes #1)

“A lright, let's get back on track. Neith still needs to rest, but I think it’s a good idea to see if she did enter the spirit realm. I have never heard of a human being able to do it, but then again, you aren’t a normal human. That much is clear.” Doc says.

“It’s extremely rare for supes to be able to do it with no negative effects, which is why I want to check,” Raiden explains.

“Tell me what’s going to happen then?” I ask him with a confident smile. I know that it's important to him that I don’t fear him, and for some unknown reason, it’s important to me that he knows that I don’t.

“I promise you that it won’t hurt. All I’m going to do is hold your hands and let my magic run over you. It’s going to check your aura for signs of a trip to the spirit realm; if it turns out you really did go there, then we’ll have to keep an eye on you for side effects and do some research to see if it’s ever happened to another human before and what exactly happened to them.” Raiden explains.

I nod and hold my hands out to him again as he gently and cautiously takes them. “Sounds good to me. I do have a favor to ask though?”

“Sure?” he replies, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“If my mental barrier goes down and you hear my thoughts, no, you didn’t, got it?”

Amusement dances in his eyes, and I swear the voices are equally amused as he nods, “Sure thing, Neith, I heard nothing. Now, I want your barrier to come down. I’m extremely curious.”

I roll my eyes, “Just get on with it.”

His face becomes serious again, “I’m going to have Doc put his hand on your back and monitor your vitals, just in case something goes wrong and you can’t tell me to stop.”

“Is that okay?” Doc asks me as he takes a step closer.

“Are you really asking if being sandwiched between two hot supes is okay?” I ask, and then realising my brain-to-mouth filter failed again, I add immediately, “I mean, yes, that’s fine, but Raiden’s not going to hurt me.”

Doc’s smile is massive. I’ve clearly said something right, and I don’t think it was the sandwich thing.

“I’m going to start now, okay?” Raiden asks me, sounding nervous but trying to hide it.

“Go for it,” I reply, desperately wanting to ask him more about being a Reaper but aware that now is most likely not the right time to ask him.

A gentle wash of peaceful magic smooths over me, and I have honestly never felt so calm. It’s beautiful, and although gentle, I can sense that it is vast and incredibly strong and while it has the capacity to be gentle and soothing as it is now, it can also decimate, and honestly, I should be terrified as the sheer scope of Raiden’s magic starts to make itself known. Instead, I find myself just watching it with my mind's eye as it slowly and methodically goes through my aura, looking for something that I can’t see.

I have never experienced anything like it before, and I am in awe.

Far too soon for my liking, he pulls his magic back, and I open my eyes to find him already watching me closely. Our eyes lock for an indescribable amount of time before he finally looks away.

“Well?” Evander asks, always the impatient one out of the two of us.

“She’s definitely been to the spirit world; the makers are on her aura. I would’ve been more surprised not to find them if I’m honest; the animals accompanying her were the biggest giveaway.”

“So, I guess it’s a good thing that I can’t go anywhere then,” I reply, “anything in particular I should be looking out for?”

“Why aren’t you more freaked out?” Reed asks me.

“Simple, there’s fuck all I can do to change the past, so there’s no point dwelling on it. It’s happened. I’m not actually dead, and I’m grateful for that; if this is the price that I have to pay, then I’ll pay it.” I explain before adding, “Besides, this doesn’t even begin to hit my weird meter.”

“Fair enough,” Reed replies, although it's clear that his curiosity has been piqued.

“To answer your question, I actually don’t have any idea about what you should look out for. Just let us know immediately if something out of the ordinary happens or you feel unwell,” Raiden says and then adds with a deep frown, “or you can suddenly put your hand through something that’s supposed to be solid.”

“Wait, seriously?” I ask, unsure whether that would be cool or not. I guess if I could turn it on or off, it would be pretty fucking awesome.

Raiden nods seriously, “Yeah, I read about that happening to someone after they crossed over into the spirit realm, but they didn’t have spirit guides, which is what the animals who accompanied you were, so hopefully that’s going to work in your favor instead of against you.”

“Cool,” I reply because there really isn’t much else to say to that.

“I’ll see if I can find any medical information on the supes that crossed over and see if it gives us any better information on what to look out for,” Doc suggests.

“That’s a great idea,” Evander says, “something else we can talk about tomorrow. For now, Neith is about to fall asleep on her feet, and I think we all need to get some rest.”

“I am not,” I retort childishly.

“Your eyes are closed,” Van points out drily.

I open them and stick my tongue out at him, not bothering to argue because it's evident to everyone, and they’re all smirking at me anyway.

“Here,” River says as he hands me the pile of clothes that Doc summoned for me.

“When did I give you them?” I ask.

He smirks, “When you got all excited about holding hands with Raiden.”

Instead of getting embarrassed like I think he expects me to, I shrug, “He’s pretty, and Reapers have always interested me. I always thought they got an unfair reputation.”

“Come on, Nene, before you say something that you really didn’t want to say out loud,” Evander teases as we continue to leave the room again.

“Night, guys,” I yell as I step out and get a chorus of goodnights in return that makes me smile.

Evander is quiet as I follow him up the vast staircase and down a long hallway to the last door, right at the end.

“This is you. We keep it well stocked, so you should have everything you need. If not though, just yell, and we’ll find it for you,” Evander says as he shuffles his feet.

It was a nervous habit of his when we were kids, and I found it utterly adorable then; as a giant man, a dangerous one at that, it’s still fucking adorable, he turns to leave, but I stop him.

“I’m sorry, I just turned up here. I didn’t know where else to go, and you were the first person I thought of,” I try to explain. It must be a big shock; I’ve been out of his life for over a decade now, and me being back complicates things in more ways than he realises, ways that I’m going to have to explain to him, to all of them eventually.

He sighs heavily, his shoulders releasing the tension he was holding there as he does something I wasn’t expecting and reaches out, pulling me against his broad chest in a tight hug. I melt. He may be bigger and more dangerous now, but his hugs still give me the same sense of safety that they always have. I wasn’t expecting that to be the case, and if I’m honest, it knocks the air out of me.

“Don’t ever apologize for coming to me, Neith. I promised I’d always be there for you when we were kids, and I meant it. You’ve clearly been through some shit over the last decade, and I wish you had come to me before now,” he says softly.

“I couldn’t, and I will fill you in, but you’re going to have to give me time to work up to that,” I reply honestly, my voice muffled by his chest.

“Okay, but I want to know.” He says firmly.

I just nod because I know I have to tell him some things, not all of it, but just enough that he understands the risk that comes with being associated with me, and not just because the HID wants me dead.

“Good, now go and shower. You stink,” he chuckles as I push away from him and flip him off.

“I hope I got you muddy,” I snark back, amused as I turn on my heel and head into the room, his laughter following even after I've shut the door behind me.

It’s strange to me how easily we seem to have been able to slip back into our friendship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive enough to think that we can go back to exactly how it used to be. We’re both different now, and if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want to go back to how it was.

Everything is about to get really complicated.

“Holy fuck,” I say out loud as I finally manage to drag myself out of my thoughts and look around the room.

It’s huge. As in, you could hold a party in here. Hell, I could have all my friends from the forest in here, and there would still be plenty of room. The décor is strangely calming with earth tones throughout, sage green on the wall behind the bed, and deep cream carpet that I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to stain, standing here covered in mud and blood and with only one shoe on, I’m surprised the guys didn’t point that out. There are accents of green, some browns, and burnt oranges throughout, and I absolutely fucking love it.

The bed, like the room itself, is big and is calling to me, and as much as I want to run and jump on it, I refuse to do that in the state that I’m currently in. Instead, I look for the bathroom. Fortunately, there are only two other doors in this room. One is on the wall to the right of the bed, and they’re actually big double doors, so I’m assuming that leads to the closet, which means that the single door that’s on the same wall as the entrance to the room is the bathroom. At least, I hope it is because it’s closest to me, and I have less chance of marking the carpet that I definitely can't afford to get cleaned.

Walking incredibly gingerly and on my tiptoes, I make my way to the door and breathe a sigh of relief when the door opens up into a lavish bathroom. I feel some of the tension drain out of me when my feet hit the tiled floor, a tile floor I can clean easily. I place Betty and the pile of clothes that Doc gave me on the counter, glad that all the stuff covering me is dry and hasn’t gotten on the clothes. Now that a shower is so close, I desperately want to be clean, and I quickly strip, or at least I try to, but my clothes are stuck to me in various places and require a strong tug in order to unstick them by the time I’m down to my underwear my skin is red raw in places thanks to my impatient pulling.

Reaching in to turn the giant shower head on, I’m beginning to sense a theme: everything has to be big. But then again, all of the guys are big guys, so it makes sense.

I spend a long time in the shower. The first wash is one to get all the grime off me, and those red patches soon cover me entirely as I scrub myself clean. The second wash is more of a luxury just double checking that I got all the ick off me in the first round and rewashing my hair because it’s so damn long it needs it. I then just stand there, the murmur of the voices especially quiet, almost as if they’re as exhausted as I am, which happens sometimes and which I’m particularly grateful for at the moment because it gives me a bit more space to be able to think.

I can’t believe that after all my hard work of staying away from Evander and making sure he couldn’t find me, I willingly walked here. I know that’s what my instincts told me; I know that there were several other things, clearly out of my control, that led me here, and I’m aware that there is most likely a higher power that’s out there and pulling the strings, and that there’s a reason why I’m here now, why after more than ten years now is the right time for us to be in each others lives again.

I know all that, but I’m still scared. I’ve got secrets now, dangerous ones, and I’ve got some equally dangerous people who want me dead.

When I realise that I’ve managed to fall asleep with my head resting on the shower wall, I decide it's probably best to get out. Wrapping an extremely thick towel around myself, I rummage through the pile of clothes, finding underwear that’s the right size and not pervy. Thank you, Doc. I would’ve had to stab him otherwise. There’s also a giant T-shirt and some leggings. I pull on the underwear, leaving the bra and the leggings for tomorrow as I put the oversized shirt on.

I plan to sleep for a while, I’m exhausted, and actually, I usually fall asleep for a good few hours after a darkness episode anyway, and because of that, I intend to be comfortable. I leave the clothes in the bathroom and make a mental note to ask one of the guys where I can burn the clothes I was wearing; they aren’t salvageable, that much is obvious.

I let my impulsiveness take over as I run and jump on the bed before wriggling my way under the thick and pillowy covers.

Groaning, I say out loud, “That’s it. I’m never going to leave this bed. It’s mine. I’ll take it with me when I go.”

I have no idea who I’m talking to, but I feel like if I say it out loud, then that makes it real, and I really can take it with me. I wonder how I could get it out without any of the guys realising. Would they be mad if I stole one of their beds?

Shit, I left Betty in the bathroom, and the lights are still on. I’m going to have to go and get her and make sure that everything is turned off, or future me is going to be cursing past me, and that just doesn’t work for the whole harmonious vibe that I’m trying to have with myself.

Fucking hell, I’m a few bats short of a cave.

Sighing and shaking my head at my own thoughts, I reluctantly climb out of bed again and go and grab Betty, switching off the light as I leave and then moving back toward the entrance to the room to switch off the main lights. The room plunges into darkness, and I pause. I have no idea how I’m going to get to the bed in pitch-black darkness. Fortunately, when I inevitably trip over it, I’ll have a soft landing.

I manage to make it to what I think is halfway across the room before I trip over something that shockingly feels like it has fur, which of course, makes me let out a giant girly screech as I throw my hands out to stop myself from breaking my nose, the carpet may be soft, but it’ll still hurt like a bitch if I faceplant it.

“Neith!” River is the first one to yell as my door is suddenly forced open, flooding the room with light as all of the men, in various versions of pyjamas, rush through it.

“Well, this is embarrassing,” I mutter, standing up.

“What happened?” Reed asks, and I glance at him just long enough to see genuine concern in his eyes before I go back to looking for whatever tripped me.

I may be crazy, but I’m not crazy enough to imagine something with fur tripping me up.

“Did you fall out of bed?” Griff smirks.

I automatically flip him off and then reply, “No, I tripped over something, ass.”

My reply has Griff and the others chuckling. I decide to ignore them as I continue to search the room, going as far as to look in the closet and pull open all of the drawers even though the door was firmly closed, and it would have been impossible for something big enough to trip me up to get through the door.

“Why are you looking in the closet if something tripped you up?” River asks, the frown on his face, utterly and adorably confused.

“Okay, this is going to sound absolutely fucking crazy, but I tripped over something furry, so unless you guys have a disappearing cat?” I ask, and when they all shake their heads, I continue, “Well, in that case, there’s something furry in here, and I’m going to find it.”

“Are you sure?” Raiden asks.

I nod, “I trip over a lot, and I know when it’s just air, that wasn’t just air.”

“Why were you wandering around in the dark?” Van asks me.

“I was turning the light off,” I explain as if it’s a no-brainer.

Evander winces, “Shit, sorry, Nene, I should’ve told you. You can clap to turn them on and off.”

I pause in my search and turn back to face him, my hands on my hips, “You dick.”