Page 40 of Mushy Stuff (Guardian Mates #1)

Allium leads me into the bathroom. One glance at the water in the tub tells me that it’s lukewarm at best, but I don’t care. Soaking in any water would be nice right now.

Allium stands by the tub and looks at me expectantly. I should take my clothes off. I can’t exactly bathe fully dressed. Suddenly though, I’m feeling shy. He didn’t actually see all of me when we had sex, and the thought of being naked makes me feel so exposed.

Feeling exposed causes fear to suddenly slice into my chest. Lord Varik made me strip down in front of him like this.

Mental images of the things he made me do suddenly flash through my mind.

I can hear his cruel words ringing in my head.

All his taunts and criticisms. All the pain and humiliation.

All of it designed to tear me apart, both physically and mentally.

All of it swirls together in my mind and I feel like I can’t breathe.

My pulse pounds in my ears, and I feel like I’m gasping for air. All I can hear is Lord Varik’s taunting voice echoing in my head. Allium must be able to sense my panic. He walks towards me and cups my cheek as he says, “Faylen, do you want me to go? I can wait in the bedroom.”

I shake my head sharply, both to tell him no and to clear the memories. This is Allium. I don’t have to be afraid of him. I’m safe.

I finally say, “No, I want you to stay.”

He studies my face. “If you change your mind, tell me. I don’t want you to be afraid. I know it might take some time.”

“No, please stay. I’m not afraid of you.”

I begin taking off my dress and underclothes and Allium steps back and watches me. Once my dress is off, I hand it to him. Then I quickly slip my underclothes off and hand them to him too.

“Can you lay those out on the bed for me?”

He nods, but his eyes are riveted to me and he doesn’t move.

I feel self-conscious for a moment, however I see that his eyes are drinking me in.

I can tell from the bulge in his trousers that he likes what he sees.

It gives me a little bit of confidence, and I stand up a little straighter and give him a small smile.

Then I walk over to the tub and step in. I was right, the water is barely warm, but it still feels so good as I sink down into it. I sigh as I settle in and relax.

I cast a glance back at Allium and he’s still standing there staring at me, entranced, while holding my clothes. He has the most adorable look of wonder on his face.

I smile at that, then I laugh when I say, “Are you going to just stand there holding my clothes?”

He snaps out of his trance and slumps his shoulders a little bit in embarrassment before he says, “Oh…um…I’ll just go lay these out.”

I giggle a little as he walks out. Then I look around the bathroom, trying to find the soap.

Allium comes back a moment later, and I say, “Do you see soap?”

He looks around the small bathroom and sighs. “I bet we have to buy it.” He lets out a frustrated little growl, and his tail flicks from side to side.

I quickly say, “Don’t worry, I don’t need it. I’m fine with just water.”

He scoffs. “Give me a couple of minutes and I will get soap from the innkeeper. You stay here and relax. ”

I watch him walk out of the bathroom, tail still flicking, then I relax into the tub, lay my head back, and shut my eyes.