Page 21 of Mrs. Victoria Buys A Brothel

C hapter 21

Pie

They passed the hours lazily, laughing and discovering each other’s bodies. They cooked and ate together. At one point, they tried to go riding, but when Victoria put on the jeans, Natane dragged her back to bed. They eventually took the horses out in the evening and rode across the plains under a golden sky.

Night came. In bed, sated for the moment, Victoria explored. The bronze skin under her hands, seen up close, held a million tiny secrets. Small dots, splotches of colour, red pigments, constellations of moles, veins, scars. Natane simply laid there, letting Victoria discover in wonder the rougher skin of her elbows, knees, feet; and the delicate skin inside of her wrists, behind her ears, under her breasts.

Victoria felt drunk in the reality of this. She had spent so many years being touched only to be hurt, and, like a flower in a drought, she had shrivelled and stopped wanting. But here, the heat of that body, the concreteness of it, the loving permission, the weight of that trust, it was all making her dizzy.

She traced eyebrows and lashes with the tip of her fingers, feeling them flutter like a butterfly’s wings. She traced the long nose, the lips, the high cheekbones. The traces of aging in the corner of her eyes, the wrinkles of the brow. The skin was patterned after a life under the sun. It was old and tired, and so beautiful in its existence.

Victoria’s hands travelled to the fine dark hair of her arms, legs, underarms. She looked closer until she could see the thin duvet over her face. She scratched the coarser hair below her stomach. She took the time to discover the smells of another human, delicate behind the ear and dizzying between the legs. She kissed, licked and tasted the salt of her sweat, the sweetness of her lips, the strangeness of her privates.

Natane laid there, open to all of her questions, beautiful in the candlelight. When Victoria was done, Natane switched their places and loved her softly until they were both sated. Victoria kept her on top of her, relishing the crushing weight anchoring her. Her eyes teared up at the heavy human contact.

They slept and woke side by side. They kissed, washed, dressed, and ate together, in comfortable harmony.

“Do you need help with the chores?” asked Victoria, trying to stretch out their time.

Natane kissed her, sadly, and pressed their foreheads together. “You can’t hide here forever.”

They travelled back, talking softly, holding hands. Victoria’s heart broke a little bit when they reached the town and had to let go.

“Would it look strange if I invited you over again, tonight?” whispered Natane as they stopped in front of the brothel.

“Yes, and I don’t care.”

“We have to be careful about this. I’ll come tomorrow, instead.”

“I already miss you.”

A gentle smile. “I always miss you.”

Victoria could not stand being so close without being able to kiss her. She got off the chariot before she did anything foolish. She waved from the porch, watching Natane leave town, her silhouette growing smaller against the bright blue of the morning sky.

“Victoria?” It was Lisette, walking back from the water pump. “You’re here.” It was said with surprise, as if she had doubted Victoria would ever return.

Victoria huffed and grabbed a bucket. “Of course I am. Did you think I was leaving town for good?”

A sheepish one-shouldered shrug. “You never know. You do have an empty manor in Salt Lake. Siobhan said you’d be back for your things first.”

“I’m not leaving,” she frowned. “As long as you three want me here, I will stay.”

When Lisette averted her eyes, she stepped inside, feeling angry. She left the bucket on the nearest table, a bit brusque. “The place is clean.”

“Not like you helped much,” said Siobhan from the second floor.

“Where were you?” asked Consuelo from the kitchen door.

“Salt Lake City,” she snapped back. “I don’t see how what a grown woman does with her time is any of your business.”

Consuelo frowned. “What were you doing with your time, Victoria?”

Being happy, she wanted to yell. Feeling beautiful, loved, and alive. Committing sins against God and feeling closer to heaven than she had ever felt before.

She shouldered past Consuelo and closed the kitchen door in her face. There was unfinished washing from breakfast and she took over with angry fervour.

When she was done with the dishes, she started cooking. Once she was done with dinner and supper, she made two pies. She put them in the oven and sat on the steps of the back door, furious at the unfairness of everything.

At one point in the afternoon, Siobhan walked the long way around to the outhouse. She came back and hesitated. The bucket of rainwater was three feet away from Victoria, who glared and refused to move from her spot.

Siobhan rolled her eyes and went to wash her hands. “This is ridiculous. Consuelo spent the whole day at the blacksmith’s, Lisette’s been moping, about to start crying at any moment, and then you lock the kitchen door so we can’t get lunch.”

“I made lunch,” she snapped.

“Doesn’t help much if we can’t get to it. This is stupid. I can’t stand drama. I can’t believe I’m the most sensible one in this house.” She grabbed Victoria’s sleeve. “Up. I’m not walking around again. We’re going to eat whatever you’ve been cooking because it smells delicious. Lisette is going to fetch Consuelo, and we’ll talk this over until someone cries or breaks something.”

Victoria wanted to refuse, but she had to know if she needed to pack her things. Maybe she could move with Natane. Maybe they could run away together, live in the woods near a Canadian lake.

No one said anything over dinner. Siobhan ate with gusto, but Lisette looked miserable and Consuelo glared at the table. Victoria made a mental list of what she would need to pack.

“Alright,” said Siobhan after her last bite. “Let’s talk.”

“What were you doing yesterday?” asked Consuelo immediately.

“Still none of your business, young lady.”

“Don’t be daft,” cut in Siobhan. “We know she was at Mrs.Díaz’s.”

Victoria bit her lip and waited for the accusations. Consuelo opened her mouth, but it was Lisette who spoke first.

“We’re just worried, Victoria,” she said in a small voice. “You’ve been acting strangely.”

“You mean besides killing her husband?” muttered Siobhan.

“Yes, of course, but also,” Lisette made a vague gesture encompassing everything. “You know.”

“Please, do tell me,” said Victoria through gritted teeth.

“She’s talking about the kiss,” huffed Siobhan. “And probably the crying, and the moping in your room, and probably the murder too, but mostly, Victoria, you kissed a woman. What.”

“I can understand,” said Lisette with kindness. “We were drinking and emotions were high. It must have been very strange, for you.”

Victoria did not take the out. “I kissed her because I wanted to,” she stated plainly, defiant in her happiness. “I do not regret it.”

Consuelo slammed her hands on the table. “What are you even doing, Victoria?”

“I think I was clear enough.”

“You should have lied,” snapped Consuelo. “You had the chance to blame the whisky, you can even blame the stress. You could have lied to us and things would have gone back the way they were.”

“And what will you do, now that I did not lie?” she asked in a cold voice.

“Then we’ll have to lie for you, you idiot. People talk and you’re their favourite subject of conversation. What do you think will happen if anyone looks too closely?”

Victoria paused, thrown off. Consuelo put her head in her hands, grabbing at her hair. “Mrs.Smith was already asking about you, yesterday. She saw you leave with Mrs.Díaz. I said you were still unnerved by your husband making a scene. That’s only going to work for a while, though. If you keep acting strangely, people will look, and they’ll find things.”

“They’ll find out about the dead body,” grumbled Siobhan, cutting herself a piece of pie.

“Among other things!”

“…You were worried?” asked Victoria.

Consuelo huffed and crossed her arms.

“She’s an angry worrier,” said Siobhan, mouth full of pie.

“Victoria,” said Lisette with her huge eyes. “You have to be careful. People are dangerous, and if they don’t like what you are or what you do, they will hurt you.”

Victoria thought of David and of Lisette’s ugly, heartbroken sobs.

“I don’t even know what you’re doing,” blurted Consuelo, “but don’t do it again. It’s not safe.”

“Don’t be absurd, I am very much doing this again,” said Victoria. “I am seeing Natane again.”

Lisette wailed and hid her face in her hands. Siobhan and Consuelo exchanged looks.

“So, that’s what’s happening?” asked Siobhan. “You’re, huh, what’s the word for a girl sodomite?”

“Tribade,” said Consuelo through her teeth.

Victoria winced. She was not even aware there was a word for that.

Consuelo huffed and waved away the notion. “No, she’s just trying something weird because of her husband. I’d be scared of men too if I had to endure what she went through.”

“No, don’t do that,” said Victoria. “It has nothing to do with Earl or what he did to me. This is not ugly. This is… this is something good.”

“Like love?” whispered Lisette.

Victoria hesitated, and nodded.

“We all love our friends,” tried to reason Consuelo. “Maybe you’re confused?”

“I don’t do what I did yesterday with my friends,” snapped Victoria, tired of being treated like a child.

“Huh,” said Siobhan. “How does that even work?” She made V’s with her fingers and arranged them in obscene poses.

“We find ways,” she scrunched her nose at the configurations. “Please do not be crude.”

“I’m a whore,” she grumbled back, not stopping.

Victoria sighed, already exhausted. “I will be honest, this is new for me too. I wasn’t planning on being… that word you mentioned. It simply happened, and I find that it makes me happy. I want to see Natane again and she wants to see me.”

Lisette sighed.

Victoria went on. “I am not asking for your permission. But I need to know if you want me to leave.”

“This is your house,” said Consuelo. “You bought it.”

“And yet I would leave it to you three and move away if you do not want me here anymore.”

“I want you here,” said Lisette.

“Same,” shrugged Siobhan. “I don’t really get it, but I don’t care what happens in other people’s beds. I barely care about what goes on in mine.”

They turned to Consuelo, who was frowning at Victoria. “This is strange and dangerous,” she said. “But I’m not kicking you out of your own house. I’m just begging you to be careful.”

“I will be.”

“Is anyone going to want pie, or can I take more?” asked Siobhan, pulling the tin towards her, ready to eat directly from it. “Because the blackberry one is delicious.”

“Give it here,” said Consuelo, cutting slices for everyone.

Victoria tutted. “You took pieces of both. I wanted to bring one to Natane.”

“Are you heading there tonight?” asked Lisette.

“No.” She blushed. “Tomorrow.”

Consuelo raised her arms in exasperation. “Victoria! That’s not being smart and safe!”

She shrugged, feeling exposed. “I just want to see her again.”

Siobhan leaned forward. “But seriously, how does it even work? Do you do the things men do, and if so, how ?”

“Siobhan, honestly, we are at the table.”

Consuelo scoffed. “There’s a lot of things people can do if they don’t have all the parts. You just have to be imaginative.”

“I don’t think anyone is as imaginative as you are.”

“I’d rather not share such intimate details,” said Victoria. “Let’s not be vulgar.”

“Again, whores.”

“I’m still trying to understand,” said Lisette, genuinely curious. “Do you get the feelings? The butterflies in the stomach, the fire inside of you, the certitude you could die if they don’t look your way?”

“Now I’m worried about your feelings,” said Siobhan.

“I… Yes, I do,” said Victoria. “It’s wonderful, and somewhat terrifying at the same time.”

“Yes!” smiled Lisette. “The most beautiful and terrible thing in the world. You spend every day in pain, and still you couldn’t live without it.”

“Lisette, are you alright?” asked Consuelo.

She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes. “Don’t listen to me. I’m just being overdramatic; you know how I am.”

Consuelo opened her mouth to ask, but Siobhan raised her hand to stop her. “No. Only one complicated discussion at a time. We were talking about Victoria.”

Victoria squeezed Lisette’s hand. “I thought we covered everything.”

“I’m just curious,” said Siobhan. “I mean, I knew men could be like that. They’re men, wanting is what they do. Some of them want weird things, just look at Consuelo’s clients.” Consuelo nodded. “I just never heard of a woman being like that. And if I knew, I wouldn’t expect you to be a… what was the word, tribade?”

“Fricatrice is also good,” said Consuelo, avoiding Victoria’s eye.

Victoria decided to ignore it. “I was not expecting anything of the sort either. It was a surprise.”

“How can you be so sure?” asked Consuelo, more curious than judging. “If it’s so new?”

Victoria thought for a moment. “I had a friend, when I was your age, Lisette,” she said, eyes lost in the past. “Diana. She had the most beautiful smile. We were inseparable. And when she got married and moved to another city, it tore me apart. Oh, I must have cried for an entire year. Looking back, I realize what these feelings were.”

“But you got married, after that.”

“To Mister Rotting-in-a-ditch,” said Siobhan.

“I did love Earl, at first,” she said, ignoring Siobhan’s coughed “ Earl ”. “He was charming and polite to my parents. It is one of the many reasons it made it so hard to leave.” She sighed. “The first years of our marriage were happy ones. Then I spent decades convincing myself we could go back to that if I was good enough.”

It was Lisette’s turn to squeeze her hand. Victoria went on, lost in thought. “It’s been so long since I felt any sort of joy. I would be foolish to refuse it now that I found it again, no matter how strange its shape.”

“Alright,” sighed Consuelo. “Alright. Eat your pie before it gets colder.” She went back to put the kettle on. When everyone’s cup was full, she raised her eyebrows at Siobhan. “Now, can I?”

Siobhan gestured her to go on. Consuelo immediately turned to Lisette. “What’s happening with you?”

“What?” she squeaked. “Nothing!”

“We’re not going through this again. Talk.” Lisette averted her eyes, and she pressed on. “Is this about David?”

Lisette burst into tears. Victoria hugged her, letting her sob on her shoulder.

Consuelo pursed her lips. “Simone and I figured it out a while ago.”

Siobhan turned to her. “Since when are you and Mrs.Jackson talking? You hate each other.”

“…Not really.” She looked very sad, at that moment. “Simone was a pleasant neighbour before all of this. Do you remember the day Lisette came to town?”

“Vaguely.”

“Simone was sitting on her porch; I was about to head over there for tea. And David arrived, with his deliveries, accompanied with the latest girl sent from Rock Springs by Mrs.Porter.” She glanced at Lisette. “They looked so happy, the both of them. Simone and I glanced at each other, and… you should have seen the terror in her eyes. I can’t forget it.”

“So you started fighting? What happened, did you plan it, or what?”

“We didn’t need to. That same day, Simone insulted me for the first time, in front of other people. I knew what she was doing, so I played along.”

Lisette sobbed harder. “I— I didn’t know! I’m so sorry, Consuelo…”

Consuelo tucked a lock of Lisette’s hair behind her ear. “You did look very sweet together. You were blushing, and David had the biggest smile on his face. You were both laughing. It was heartbreaking to see.”

“We talked the entire way,” cried Lisette. “He was so kind, and smart, and funny. I’d never met anyone like him before. It’s like… it’s like the sun came out, and it made everything look brighter.”

“Lis,” said Siobhan with unusual gentleness. “I know you’re a romantic, but really? After only two days of travel?”

“There was… there was also the Spring festival, last year.”

“Big party at the barn,” explained Consuelo for Victoria’s benefit. “Like a church weekend, but with more flowers.”

“The first saloon was still unburned,” added Siobhan. “It wasn’t our job to water all those fools.”

Lisette dried her tears. “It was all a bit much, so I came back here, and I sat on the porch steps to catch my breath. David walked by and he wished me a good evening.” She smiled softly in her tea. “He looked so dashing in his Sunday best. It was pretty dark, and everyone in town was at the intersection. So I did something foolish. I asked if he wanted to sit with me.”

“Oh, so that’s the stairs thing,” said Siobhan.

“He didn’t sit too close, in fact, he left a huge gap between us. But we talked, and it was like those first days, so easy and fun. When it got cold, he handed me his jacket; I can still remember how good it smelled. We talked for hours in the dark until the party was over and people started heading back home.” A pause. “We haven’t talked since then. The smallest thing could put his life in danger and I won’t stand for it.”

She drank more tea and grimaced at its lukewarmness.

“So, that’s it?” asked Siobhan. “You’re just going to be sad forever?”

“I’m happy he lives,” she snapped.

“Thank you for telling us, sweetheart,” said Victoria, leaning their heads together.

“It’s nice to talk to someone. I just felt so alone.”

“You are not. We are family, aren’t we?”

Lisette nodded without a word. Consuelo and Siobhan exchanged a look.

“Yeah, I can see it,” said Siobhan. “Anyway, people are already calling Victoria our mother, might as well roll with it.”

Overcome with emotion, Victoria stretched to grab Siobhan’s hand, which she allowed.

“Strange family,” sighed Consuelo. “And you, Siobhan? Anything dramatic happening in your life?”

“Nothing at all, I’m very boring. You?”

“I think I will marry Paul.”

“Paul the blacksmith?”

“Do you know any other Paul in this town?”

Lisette dabbed her eyes with a smile. “Really? That’s wonderful! How did it happen? Did he ask you? Did he declare his love for you?”

“Ha, nothing like you’re imagining,” she chuckled. “He’s not big on words. But he makes me the most beautiful things.”

She removed a hair clip, letting her long waves fall over her shoulders. It was a piece of dark leather carved with roses, and the stick holding it together was made of white bone engraved with minuscule details.

“Isn’t this the most darling thing!” squealed Lisette.

“He also made me a new riding crop,” she smirked at Lisette’s dismay. “Bigger, hackberry wood with the handle interlaced in red leather strips. He even added a metal tip at the end to make it really sting. You need to see it, it’s a work of art,” she stood up and ran upstairs, leaving them to exchange bewildered glances.

“This is weirdly adorable,” said Siobhan. “Good for her.”

“I guess romance takes many forms,” giggled Lisette, grabbing the tray. “I’m glad for you both,” she smiled at Victoria before disappearing in the kitchen.

Suddenly, there were heavy knocks at the door. “Barkeep!” yelled a voice from outside. “Open up, we’re thirsty!”

Siobhan headed to the bar with a groan while Victoria went to unlock the doors.

What she saw on the front porch made her freeze.

It was a group of men from out of town, their horses tied up nearby. She had never seen them at any of their events, but she knew their faces.

The one who knocked was the one who had pointed a gun at Victoria’s head on the road to the Shoshone village.