Page 15 of Mrs. Marley’s Christmas Ghost (Men, Mistletoe, and Marriage)
Chapter Fifteen
A s Caroline approached the parish church for services, her heart felt a little different than before. Compared to her first Sunday back in Hamstead, she had walked up dreading the entire affair, still annoyed with her aunt for the stipulations of the will and wanting to avoid any eye contact or conversation with the rabble. But now, she could hardly recall such anger. Various members of the congregation gave her reason to smile, and she actually looked forward to hearing her brother’s sermon. She did not appreciate being called to repentance, but after their shared recent apologies, she felt lighter somehow, and wondered if that feeling would only continue to grow.
Once she stepped beyond the chapel doors, Caroline smiled, for Robert’s family had already arrived. He sat beside an elderly woman whom Caroline did not know by name, but when she looked up and met Caroline’s gaze, the woman’s smile fell and she turned away. No matter, at least Robert and Kitty would be sure to offer their greeting. His son Tim seemed a quiet sort, but that didn’t bother her at all, and in fact would be her preference, that children remained quiet. But as she made her way to walk by and wish them a good morning, it seemed another family seated in front of them already had them occupied. An older woman surrounded by family, all of them turned to keep the Cratchits in conversation.
And one pretty young woman speaking directly with Robert.
Caroline found herself frozen in the aisle, which gave her a moment to ponder and frown. Why had she never considered there could be other women out vying for Robert’s affections? Of course, he was a handsome man, a dedicated father, and though some did not find his profession genteel enough, she knew the good he was capable of, which only added to his character and charm. He might not be a duke, but he did not need to be. Any woman would be lucky to have him on her arm.
Which was a difficult truth to swallow, considering her previous actions.
The young woman flashed her dazzling smile at him, fair hair pinned up in beautiful curls, and a sparkle in her eye that she was certain bespoke of more than just youth and enjoying a conversation. It reminded Caroline of how she had once looked at Robert in days long past.
She remembered the elderly woman next to her who had made a statement about her inheritance the week prior, so she must be the intended match for Robert. Though every part of Caroline’s body protested against the notion, there was nothing she could say or do against it. She’d already had her chance with him, and ruined it, burned it to the ground. Robert could only be her friend and nothing more.
Besides, wasn’t she leaving after the Christmas party? None of that mattered.
Caroline walked past their pew without a word and moved around the front of the chapel to her exclusive box on the side.
“Good morning, Aunt Caroline!” came a little voice from another pew.
Looking up, Caroline caught the eyes of her niece, the one just younger than Kitty. What was it, Hattie or Harriet? The girl was no more than four or five, a young innocent with large imploring eyes and an addictive smile, and charming brown braids hanging over each shoulder.
Kitty sat beside the young girl, and also waved in response. “Good morning, Aunt Caroline! Won’t you come sit with us?”
Caroline blinked. She had not thought changing her seat would be an option, but in this moment, after the disheartening realization about Robert, she did not want to be alone. She might know nothing about children, but they would likely provide a welcome distraction from her lonely thoughts.
She cast her eyes at Lily, who nodded encouragingly.
“Very well,” Caroline said, turning to join their pew.
The girls squealed in delight, only to have their mother shush them while barely holding back her own amusement.
“Good morning,” Caroline greeted Lily, whose hand rested on her overly large belly.
Lily motioned her hand in welcome, but then turned her attention to her daughters. “Girls, make some room for Aunt Caroline. Hannah, scoot to one side, dear.”
Ah, it was Hannah.
Once Caroline was situated next to them, she asked, “You don’t mind if I join your row?”
“Not at all. The more, the merrier,” Lily said. “And the girls will be positively tickled.”
With two young girls looking up with expectant wonder, Caroline thought for certain she would be overwhelmed, out of place, or otherwise stressed to not be in her normal seat. But instead, she felt an interesting sense of calm and peace from their welcome, as well as a responsibility to not disappoint their happiness.
Fred stood to his post at the podium and started the services. After the scriptures and prayers, she listened intently to the sermon, for he was speaking about death. Not just the physical kind, though it was not a welcoming subject to say the least, but also the spiritual kind. The thought of losing one’s soul bothered her deeply for a reason she could not define. She did not consider herself a sinful woman, for she had always honored her marital vows, despite her loathsome husband, and she did not participate in other unbecoming behaviors, such as drunkenness or gambling or gossip. But perhaps it was not just abstinence that saved a soul for heaven. There had to be more to it than that.
Aunt Fanny’s letter came back to mind. To give, to care, to love. Such things required action. She was beginning to understand why charity was the Christian thing to do, for not only did it bless the lives of others, but it could help heal her heart as well. It was the doing and the giving that made all the difference, not just in life, but also after death.
When the service ended and the congregation made their way out to the courtyard, Caroline found herself looking for Robert. She had no words to speak to him, but she found she simply wanted to see him. If that did not make her a desperate sop, she didn’t know what else would.
“Mrs. Marley!” Caroline turned to see Mrs. Fezziwig following after her. “I had a thought just now, and I wanted to know if you would join me in an endeavor.”
“What did you have in mind?” Caroline asked.
“Seeing as it is now December, I should like to make a few visits and go caroling to spread some Christmas cheer. You see, there are some families who I have not seen in some time, and I should like to let them know they are not forgotten.”
Caroline stood in awe of the woman Mrs. Fezziwig was. With her wealthy and successful husband in trade, she had the world at her fingertips and could spend her time and money any way she wished. Yet she was always conscious of what was happening around her. She had the power to make people happy or miserable, and she always used that power for good. She was ever present, and aware of those in need, and always looking for an opportunity to help. It was admirable to say the least, and Caroline fervently wished she could be a little more like her.
“What a lovely idea, Mrs. Fezziwig. It would be my honor to join you. How shall I help?”
“Well, perhaps you might suggest a family or two to accompany us?” she asked lightly.
Caroline bit her lip. Her eyes flicked across the gathering crowd, already knowing which two families she should like to invite. Kitty and Hannah smiled up at her with eager waves, but right by her side stood Martha and Tim, while Robert spoke with Fred. She did not want to linger on her motives, for at the moment, she was not feeling rather Christian. The twinge of jealousy was strong, even though she had no claim on Robert. But could she not spend time with him during these festive days of the year, even as friends?
“Perhaps my brother’s family, and Mr. Cratchit?” she suggested. “Their children would be diligent singers, I am sure.”
Mrs. Fezziwig smiled sadly. “Yes, well, the girls might, but little Tim won’t. He hasn’t spoken a word since his mother died, poor soul.”
Caroline’s eyes widened. “I had no idea. He always seemed like such a pleasant child.”
“Oh, he is the most darling boy, but he is mute. Robert is confident he will find his voice again someday. Only time will tell.”
With a frown, Caroline watched the boy more carefully now. He held his father’s hand, looking around and smiling patiently.
“But I approve of your suggestions, as I’m certain the girls would love to accompany us. We can all gather in my home at sundown, for chocolate and refreshments, and I think my two carriages can hold all of us. I will prepare a list of homes to visit. Let me go invite them. Oh, this will be such a treat!”
Caroline couldn’t help chuckling. “You seem to have shouldered much of the planning yourself. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Mrs. Fezziwig waved her off. “No, no, just come at sundown. It will be an excellent evening!”
Shaking her head with a smile, Caroline took the path home and rounded the corner heading back to Longford Manor. But as she walked by the graveyard, she felt the stony glare of the black angel statue, leaving her more disturbed than before. Something about that figure had always left her so unsettled, which was to say nothing of her last final experience there.
She knew she had not done her part in the world, that she had not shared enough good. But with her ever-shifting perspective on things, that desire was starting to change.
Once the sun had set, Caroline traveled to Mrs. Fezziwig’s estate as directed. She was shown into the drawing room where she learned she was the last to arrive, as Fred’s and Robert’s families were already snacking on cookies and hot drinks. It was a merry scene, with Mr. Fezziwig standing by the fire and talking animatedly with the children. She spotted Lily seated beside the elderly woman of Robert’s household, making Caroline itch to join them for some feminine conversation. But before she could, Robert had left his discussion with Fred and Mrs. Fezziwig to join her in the doorway.
“Is this your doing?” he asked, lips quirked in a smile.
“Not at all. It was Mrs. Fezziwig’s idea. She simply wanted to check in on families she had not seen in a while, who might need assistance or visitors.”
Robert raised an eyebrow. “So you invited the rector and the doctor to come call on the poor and disheartened?”
Caroline shook her head. “That thought had not crossed my mind at all. Mrs. Fezziwig asked who I would invite, and I gave her the names of the families I felt comfortable with, whose company I would most enjoy.”
She realized how her words may have sounded, but Caroline did not wish to take them back, for it was the truth. He took in her words and their meaning, and she let him consider them without saying anything more.
“Come now, everyone gather here around the fire,” called Mr. Fezziwig. “We should be on our way.”
“I believe I shall wait for you here,” Lily explained, relaxing back into the settee. “And I will hear all about it when you return.”
“Then I will remain with you, Mrs. Scrooge,” said the elderly woman.
“Oh, please do not feel obligated to keep me company, Mrs. Rosemont,” Lily said, but the old woman waved her off.
“I’m afraid I do not have Mrs. Fezziwig’s same stamina,” she explained, and everyone laughed.
“Not many do,” Mr. Fezziwig said, leaning over to kiss his wife on the cheek. “Now, we should at least plan a little in advance. Which carols should we sing?”
“Angels from the Realms of Glory!” cried Kitty.
“The First Noel,” said Martha.
Everyone looked to Hannah, who bashfully said, “Bring us figgy pudding,” and they all chuckled.
“What of you, lad?” Mr. Fezziwig pointed to Tim. “Are you coming with us tonight?”
Tim nodded eagerly.
“And are you to sing?”
Caroline held her breath as he pinched his lips together, and just shrugged his shoulders in response, earning more laughter from the room. How precious each one of them were.
“Well, come then. If we’re two ladies short, then we might all fit in our large carriage,” Mrs. Fezziwig said. “We can huddle close and keep each other warm that way.”
The children all hurried out to the carriage, and under the direction of Mr. Fezziwig, they were all seated snuggly inside. That is what found Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig on one side, seated by Fred who held Tim on his lap, while Caroline was seated next to Robert on the other side, and they were sandwiched between Martha and Kitty, who wanted unobstructed views of the windows.
Caroline was flooded with memories of when she was a younger girl, and what she would have done to be stuck in a situation like this with Robert. To have his shoulder nestled against hers, the warmth of his thigh bleeding through the layers of her dress. She glanced at him through the corner of her eye, and he did not meet her gaze, but he looked about as flustered as she felt.
The carriage lurched forward, and the conversation turned to whose houses they would visit first. But Caroline was distracted by all the thoughts and feelings swirling around in her head, and this might be a rare opportunity to get some answers to her questions.
She turned toward Robert, lowering her voice to ask, “Who is Mrs. Rosemont?”
He looked at her a moment, perhaps realizing how very close together they were, for he shot his gaze forward again. “She is my mother-in-law who came to live with us after my… wife passed.”
Ah. Caroline closed her eyes and nodded, turning away from him. She should have known. And though she was aware it was a sensitive topic between them, her burning curiosity could not stop her from asking, “What was your wife’s name?”
Robert clenched his jaw and swallowed. “Edith.”
A deep sorrow settled over Caroline. She did not know the nature of their marriage, but she knew that in refusing him all those years ago, she had hurt him. She had sent him away, into the arms of another woman. This Edith had given him two beautiful children, had likely supported him through the difficulties of their station, but in the end, Robert had to lose his wife as well when she died. Caroline was awash with guilt and shame, and a desire to meet the woman who had no doubt tried to piece back Robert from the mess Caroline had made of him.
“I’m sorry,” Caroline whispered. He would no doubt take it as an acknowledgement of his loss, but she meant it as so much more than that.
The carriage came to a stop, and they all piled out. Caroline fell into step beside Robert, just as Tim came running up to take his father’s hand, standing between them. She watched him for a moment, and he did seem to be a happy boy. Her earlier notion of wishing him to remain silent was long gone, if it meant he could find his voice again.
They hurried up to the door of a little cottage, and Mr. Fezziwig said, “We’ll sing Miss Kitty’s song first,” and then with his booming voice, he led them in the first verse of “Angels from the Realms of Glory.”
“Will you sing, son?” Robert asked gently, but Tim just shrugged and shook his head.
“What about humming?” Caroline offered, and the boy looked up at her in surprise. “I can hum with you, if you’d like.”
She didn’t know if her suggestion would be appreciated, but the way Tim’s eyes lit up filled her with relief. He nodded vigorously, then reached up to wrap his gloved hand into hers.
Now it was her turn to be surprised. She lifted her eyes to Robert, whose brow was also raised, but she also found a warm smile settling over his lips.
Tim’s immediate acceptance of Caroline brought a burn of tears to her eyes, which in turn brought the word “Humbug” to her tongue. She despised crying in any form and would hate to do so here. But she bit back the expression, for she did not want to do anything that would discourage this little boy from finding the peace and reassurance he needed. So she cleared her throat, and squeezed Tim’s hand, and hummed the tune of the festive hymn until the front door of the cottage opened wide.
Even thinking back on her nearly thirty years of life, Caroline could not remember a happier Christmas season.