Page 59 of Mrs. Endicott's Splendid Adventure

As Ellie stood alone on the back terrace, the pain overwhelmed her.

No Nico, no Abbot Gerard. Two men she had truly loved and respected.

She tried to picture life without them and saw only a dark tunnel with no light at the end.

She had been brave and defiant for Clive, but now she wondered if her words really meant anything.

Did she want to go on? Completely alone, unloved?

But the one feeling that still drove her was her anger, her desire for revenge.

She was not going to give that Nazi monster the satisfaction of knowing he had killed her, too.

As soon as Ellie had processed her loss, she thought of Nico’s mother.

She would have to give her the news. And she remembered that she had promised Nico to take care of the old lady.

She went down to the village and was heading for Nico’s house when she remembered Mavis.

Mavis was still here, a true friend, a kind woman.

Ellie hesitated. Did she want to take her grief to someone who was happy, settled, loved?

Then she thought tomorrow it could be Louis who was taken.

None of them was safe. So she kept walking until she came to the house behind the toolshed.

There was no sign of Louis working as she walked past, for which she was grateful.

She had no wish for polite conversation today.

Mavis was out in the back garden, hanging up washing.

“At last a fine day,” she called when she saw Ellie. “I thought these bloody sheets would never dry.” Then she saw Ellie’s face. “What’s happened, love? Bad news?”

Ellie nodded, unable to speak. Then when she spoke the words came out in a torrent: “Took Tommy, killed Nico, killed the abbot ...” She fought back great sobs as Mavis took her into her arms.

“Killed them? Why?”

“Because they were helping Jewish men to escape from France,” Ellie said. “They knew they were risking their lives, and they still did it ... for strangers, Mavis.”

“And I always thought that Nico was a crook,” Mavis said. “You know, black market smuggling. That kind of thing. And all the time he was doing this?”

Ellie nodded. “He always did like to live dangerously, but—” She couldn’t finish.

“Oh my love, I’m so sorry,” Mavis said. “The bastards. The absolute monsters. If only we could give them what’s coming to them.

” She paused. “What you need is a good cup of tea. I can’t give you that, on account of no proper tea any more, but I can make you a cup of chamomile. Supposed to be restorative.”

Ellie shook her head. “I don’t want anything. I was actually on my way to Nico’s mother. She doesn’t know yet. And I promised him I’d take his mother in if anything happened to him.”

Mavis regarded her. “You were very fond of him, weren’t you?”

“More than fond. We loved each other,” Ellie said. “How strange it is to say that, but it’s true. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that I loved him. I suppose I was scared of getting hurt again. And now he’s gone, Mavis. I won’t ever see him again.”

She turned away. “First Jojo, then Dora and now this. It’s too much, Mavis.

I can’t take any more. Why did I ever come to this horrible place?

I could have stayed in England and done the sensible thing, acted as I’d always acted all my life: sane, sensible, reasonable.

I’d have made jam and knitted socks for the Women’s Institute.

Accepted my fate as a rejected woman .. . and not had to feel ...”

Mavis put her hands on Ellie’s shoulders.

“Would you, really? Never have played with Jojo and listened to her laugh? Never have learned to love Dora or Nico? Never have looked out at your view? At least you experienced those once, didn’t you?

At least you were loved by a good man. How many people can say that? ”

Ellie nodded. Then she said, “I don’t know how I can keep going, Mavis. I’ve been strong all my life, but now I feel broken.”

Mavis slipped an arm around her. “Look, come and stay with us for a while. Louis and me, we’ll take care of you.”

“I can’t. I’ve got Clive. He’s broken, too. He needs me. And Nico’s mother. I have to keep going for them.” She pulled away. “I should go and tell her the news right now. I can’t put it off any longer.”

“Well, you know where I am if you need me,” Mavis said. “I’ll come up and visit as much as I can. Help you take care of the house.”

“You’re such a good friend, Mavis.” Ellie reached out to touch her hand. “I’m so glad I’ve got you. Please take care of yourself. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.”

“Don’t you worry, love. Those Germans need to keep Louis around to help fix their stupid motor cars. They even gave him some coffee the other day. So I’ll be here, I promise.”

She walked with Ellie to the road.

“I’d better get it over with,” Ellie said. She gave Mavis a quick hug, then set off resolutely, heading straight for Nico’s house. It seemed strange that she had never been in there before when she had become so comfortable with his presence at her own home.

“Come in, my dear,” Nico’s mother said and led her to a tiny, immaculate kitchen. Rows of pots hung above the stove. There was a marble-topped table. Madame Barbou invited her to sit, but Ellie shook her head.

“I’m afraid I’ve come with bad news,” she said and told her the whole story.

The old woman didn’t weep but shook her head. “I knew he was doing something brave. That was my boy. Always wanting to take a risk, and I knew he’d want to be involved against these invaders. At least he died doing something good. But I’m not sure how I’ll go on without him.”

“I feel the same way,” Ellie said.

The old woman looked up at her. “He spoke about you all the time,” she said. “He loved you.”

“And I loved him,” Ellie replied. “He asked me to take care of you if anything happened to him, and I want to do that. Will you come and live up at the villa with me and Clive? We’ve chickens and goats, vegetables and fruit. You won’t starve, and you’ll have company.”

The old woman paused, looking around her kitchen. “I’d like that, my dear,” she said. “This house feels very empty without him and my late husband. Two big men seemed to take up all the space. Now it’s just me.”

Ellie enlisted Clive to help carry Madame Barbou’s possessions up the hill.

She was most impressed with the villa. “I was here once, all those years ago,” she said, nodding with approval.

“Jeannette invited us, me and my husband. She was with child at the time and didn’t want anyone to know.

We were sworn to secrecy. She said she had consulted the priest, and he knew we wanted a child but God had not provided.

So she offered us hers. We went up again to collect Nico after he was born.

She wanted him called Nicolas, so we obliged.

I don’t know why that name was special to her.

She did not elaborate. Poor woman. She did not want to give up her child, I could tell, but she didn’t want to lose all that she had, either. But her loss was our blessing.”

She was settled into Nico’s room and taken around the garden to be introduced to the animals.

“I want to do my share,” she said. “I’m not afraid of hard work.”

Having something positive to do, being able to help someone else, made a small difference for Ellie. Now she’d have to be brave for Nico’s mother’s sake.

However, they were not to be left ignored. The next day German soldiers came back and took away the chickens and one of the goats as well as any spring vegetables that could be grabbed.

“We’ll have a feast tonight, boys.” Ellie thought she understood the German. “Good meat at last.”

The goat they took was Hortense, Clive’s favourite, and it hurt him almost as much as the loss of Tommy.

“Not Hortense,” he kept saying. “How could they? They are devils. I’m praying they’ll use her for milk, not meat, but I’m sure they’ll roast her, the brutes. I hope she chokes them.”

“We must hide the other two,” Ellie said. “Take them up on the hill, out of sight, and tether them well away from the paths. We’ll move the goats every day.”

“Just let them take the others. Starving to death wouldn’t be the worst way to go.”

She put her hands on his shoulders. “You mustn’t think like that.

I am not going to give them the satisfaction of killing me.

I will survive no matter what, and you must, too.

You’re an artist, Clive. Paint your feelings.

I wish I could write poetry like Dora.” She paused.

“But I’m glad Dora isn’t here right now. I hope she’s looking down on us.”

Clive gave a sad smile. “I’m glad you have such na?ve beliefs,” he said. “I can’t believe there is anything after this. If you saw what I did in the trenches, when you hear what is happening now, how can you believe there is a God?”

“The abbot did,” Ellie said. “He was quite confident. I hope he’s looking down on us at this moment.”

Everyone in the village had learned of the death of Nico and the abbot.

A Mass of the Resurrection was held for Nico.

The church was packed. Ellie felt that she had to attend, as Nico’s mother was deeply religious and insisted on going.

“It’s my son’s soul we are praying for,” she said.

It was almost more than Ellie could bear to sit amongst the whole village and listen to a eulogy in which the priest praised Nico for his kindness and generosity.

I’ll never see him again. The words kept repeating in her head.

It felt as if there were a great hole where her heart had once been.

As they came out after Mass, Monsieur Danton drew Ellie aside.

“Nicolas came to me a while ago,” he said. “He made a will. He’s left everything to you on the condition that you look after his mother for the rest of her life. You’re quite a rich woman.”