Page 14

The first competitions were today, and Lizzy looked forward to her family and the Lucases’ picnic as they watched the races.

Mr Collins was due to appear the day before, but she still hadn’t seen any sign of him.

With everything that happened yesterday, Lizzy had forgotten about him until her mother, who had the appearance of a cat who had swallowed a canary, reminded her of his visit.

They joined others from the hotel and travelled by cart to the expanse of lawns crowded with spectators having their noon repast. Once they had settled in their spot, folding chairs, small tables, and blankets were spread out on the lawn.

Lydia looked at their mother. “Oh, Mama, why can’t we picnic on one of those lovely boats with the striped canopies and eat on the river?

” She summoned that pout that made Lizzy want to shake her.

It did seem to have the desired effect on her parents.

“ You know that your sister, Mary, gets seasick with even the slightest movement, dear girl. You saw that yesterday. We would like this outing to be pleasant for everybody. Besides, we don’t want our Lizzy falling in the Thames again, do we?”

Her father cleared his throat and shot Elizabeth a knowing look. “We are eating on shore and let us hear no more about it. We will be close to the river soon enough. I’d like to have my luncheon in peace, if you don’t mind.”

Mary piped up, never taking her nose out of her book.

“Too much of water hast thou, poor Ophelia, And therefore I forbid my tears.” Lizzy sighed.

Any opportunity to quote Shakespeare or the Bible, Mary would do it.

She loved her family dearly but appreciated them much more when she was in London and they were in Hertfordshire.

It promised to be a long afternoon before the races began.

From her spot on the lawn, Lizzy could see everything.

Many other families were gathered for picnics and lawn games.

Soon, a horse-drawn carriage arrived filled with other revellers who went in immediate search of a suitable picnic spot.

With them, a rather slight man, dressed in dog collar and clerical robes, climbed down from the wagon, waved in their direction, and approached.

“ Oh, so there you all are. I have been searching for you for half an hour.” He seemed a bit flustered as the rest of Lizzy’s party turned to stare at him. “I am Mr Collins, cousin to you, Mr Bennet.” He brushed back his hair nervously and extended his hand to Lizzy’s father.

It appeared that Mr Collins’s designs on them had not dissipated. Lizzy tried to smile, but she knew it appeared forced. It was the best she could do.

“ So, you see, Mrs Bennet, Mr Bennet, I do not rejoice in your daughters’ misfortune, but have come to make amends as much as I can…

even though I do not bear any responsibility for the entailment of your estate, of course.

I am an innocent bystander, as it were.” He laughed nervously.

Lizzy disliked him more and more with every word.

He was so pompous and supercilious. “The only way that I feel I can remedy this situation is to make myself known to your daughters, and, in the fullness of time, perhaps one of them might consider becoming my wife.”

Lizzy nearly burst out laughing as a gasp of horror came from Lydia.

The sound of it mustn’t have reached Mr Collins’s ears or his ego for he continued.

“Perhaps Miss Jane would like to take a stroll about the grounds with me for a short while.” Jane looked wide-eyed at Mr Collins, then her mother, then Lizzy.

She was about to vacate her rickety folding chair when their mother spoke up.

“I believe Jane is nearly engaged, Mr Collins…” This remark caused all of them, Jane especially, to gape at her mother in surprise.

“But Elizabeth, I’m sure, would love to walk with you. ”

Lizzy looked daggers at her mother, who smiled sweetly and motioned for her to stand.

And stand she did, taking Mr Collins’s arm.

Lydia was now audibly snickering into her hankie, which caused the same reaction in Kitty.

Mary merely lifted one eyebrow. Her mind working, Elizabeth surmised that Jane must have been waxing rhapsodic about Mr Bingley in her letters home, so her mother, as was her wont, just extrapolated the situation in the direction that she desired.

At least Jane was spared Mr Collins’s attentions.

“ So, Miss Bennet, are you enjoying the regatta?” Before she could answer, he continued.

“I have been here before, of course, as a guest of my most prominent parishioner and my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.” His smile widened and his expression took on an expectant look.

Elizabeth supposed that she was to be impressed by this news, but she had no idea who this person was.

“ Lady Catherine?” she asked. “I am afraid I am not familiar with the name. Is she very prominent in social circles?”

Mr Collins raised his eyebrows. “Of course, of course, she is quite well known… quite. In Huntsford there is not a citizen for miles around who does not benefit from her magnanimity and condescension.”

“ Ah.” What was she to say to that?

“ Any wife of mine would be privileged to dine with her on occasion and also with her charming daughter Anne. I, myself, have been there often.”

Again, Lizzy supposed that she was expected to be impressed. She didn’t know what to say, exactly, so she tried, “That must be wonderful for you.”

“ Oh, it is, it is. I suppose you may one day visit from Meryton and see for yourself.”

“ Meryton, Mr Collins? Jane and I live in London.”

Now it was Mr Collins’s turn to be surprised. “Really? I got the impression from your mother that you girls were all at home.”

“ Oh, no, sir. Jane and I have been for some months in London working for Mr Selfridge in his store.”

Mr Collins stopped in his tracks. “So, you are saying that you and Miss Jane Bennet are… shopgirls?”

Elizabeth tried to hide her amusement, but she could feel her eyes crinkling and she bit her lip to keep from smiling too widely. “Yes, I suppose you could say that is exactly what we are.”

Mr Collins took a breath and then resumed his walking. He asked his questions to the air in front of him and would not meet Elizabeth’s eye. “And your father… he approves of such…goings-on?”

“ What exactly do you think is going on, Mr Collins? My sister and I are employed at a perfectly respectable place of business and live in a perfectly respectable boardinghouse.”

Mr Collins mopped his brow with his handkerchief, kept his eyes firmly on the horizon, and stammered over his words.

“I-I did not mean to give offence, Miss Elizabeth… really, I did not... It’s just that your situation is…

how shall I put it? Not what I expected from my conversations with your mother. ”

This time Elizabeth couldn’t suppress a chuckle.

“I do not doubt that in the least, Mr Collins. My mother tends to see the world as she would like it to be, rather than what it is.” Mr Collins still didn’t meet her gaze, so she pressed on.

“I suppose she also neglected to mention that I am in the women’s suffrage movement. ”

“ A suffragette?” he squeaked. He stared at her.

She felt rather sorry for him since he looked as though he might faint.

Finally, he spoke. “Oh, I am afraid my patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, would never approve, never approve. A parson’s wife a suffragette?

What example would that set for the women in the community?

Oh, dear…” He stood muttering to himself for a few moments.

Elizabeth decided to take him in hand. She slipped her arm into his, and he started.

“ Come along, Mr Collins. Let’s go back to the family. I think we both have had enough of this conversation.”

He looked at her quite intently for a moment. “I don’t suppose you would ever consider giving up your—”

“ No,” she said. “No, Mr Collins. I would never consider giving up anything.”

As Elizabeth approached their party, Mr Collins uncomfortably took his leave.

They hadn’t spoken a word to one another on the short walk back to the picnic, and Mr Collins nearly ran from her once he could politely escape.

Her mother waved and called to her. “Look, Lizzy, we have a guest. This is Col Fitzwilliam; he is a friend of Mr Bingley.”

“ And Mr Darcy’s cousin,” Col Fitzwilliam added,

“ Oh, how do you do, Colonel Fitzwilliam. However did you find us?” The appearance of Mr Darcy’s cousin made Elizabeth uneasy.

Did he know of what happened the day before?

Had he come to tease her, to triumph over her, or worse, to thank her in front of her mother and spoil their entire charade of yesterday?

“ Mr Bingley had a note from your sister written on the hotel stationary. It was not difficult after that.”

“ Stop interrogating the poor man, Lizzy. Do have some lunch with us, Colonel.”

“ Ah, I will have some refreshment, thank you, but my real purpose in coming here is to invite you all to observe the Beefeaters Club race this afternoon from our place on the shoreline. You will have a very good view from there. It won’t be too crowded, as it is reserved.”

Mrs Bennet rolled her gaze appreciatively. “Reserved, how nice. Of course, we will join you, Colonel. Mary…Mary, put down that book and go join your sisters at badminton. The colonel can take your seat.”

Mary looked up over her book at her mother stoically, reluctantly put it down, and went to join Kitty and Lydia, who were squealing over a flying shuttlecock.