Page 43 of Moving to Love

Joci looked surprised, her brows furrowed, and she said, “Yes, I think it is.”

“Why?” Connor said.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean, why?”

“Why him? Why not me?” Connor’s voice cracked a little.

Okay, there it was. That’s why he was different today.

“I don’t know, Connor. I can’t explain it. The first time I met Jeremiah, it was like getting hit by lightning. There was just something electric and powerful between us. It’s not something you make happen, it just…is.”

Connor swallowed and nodded slightly. They looked at each other for a long time. Connor took a deep breath. “I always thought we would end up together. But I watch you with Jeremiah, and I realize you will never be mine. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in his. I hate it, but I see it.”

Joci didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t expecting this. Never had she thought Connor felt that way.

Connor took a deep breath. “Can we still be friends?”

“Of course, Connor. You’ve been in my life for so long; I don’t know how I could live it without you. Over the years, if it weren’t for you, Gunnar and I would have had a hard time. I hope I’ve always thanked you for your help and willingness to step in.”

Connor shook his head and looked away. He stared off into space for a long time and sighed.

“I did it because I love you. I love both of you. I would do it all over again if I had to.”

Joci stepped forward and hugged Connor. “Thank you. I love you, and so does Gunnar.”

“Yes, but you’re not in love with me.”

Joci’s voice was so soft it was hard to hear. “No, I’m not in love with you.”

A tear slipped down Joci’s cheek. She didn’t want to hurt him. He had done so much for her and Gunnar over the years. She always thought he had taken on Keith’s guilt as his own. He had once told her he felt guilty that he hadn’t tried harder to make Keith see the error of his ways. Then, he felt guilty for maintaining a friendship with Keith because of Joci and Gunnar.

Connor sighed and scraped his hand through his hair. He swallowed hard. “Okay. Well, I just needed to know. I’ll talk to you later.”

He turned and walked away. Joci watched for a few steps, and the tears started rolling faster down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with her fingers. She turned and walked toward Gunnar and Jeremiah. They both had worried looks on their faces.

“You okay, Mom? What happened?”

“I’m okay. It’s nothing.” Joci smiled weakly.

Jeremiah took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He looked at Gunnar and then back at Joci. Gunnar’s brows were furrowed in worry. He glanced at Jeremiah and then back at his mom.

Jeremiah put his arm around Joci’s shoulders. “He’s in love with you.”

Joci nodded slightly. Gunnar looked at Jeremiah again with his brows furrowed.

“You mean…as in in love...in love?” Gunnar asked, disbelief in his voice.

She nodded and hugged Gunnar. “Have a great rest of your day, baby. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Joci turned to get into Jeremiah’s truck. Gunnar got into his own pickup. He looked back at Joci and Jeremiah, the confusion on his face. Jeremiah slid in beside Joci and started his truck. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Do you love him, Joci?”

A lone tear traveled down Joci’s cheek. “Yes.” Her voice cracked.

Jeremiah sucked in a deep breath. “Jesus.”

“But I’m not in love with him. Jeremiah, I’m in love with you,” Joci said.