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forty-six

Shock after shock after shock—yet everything seemed so distant now.

The talk with the seer.

The talk with Lyall.

Most importantly, the talk with the Seelie Queen.

It all was separated from me now by this thin veil that always seemed to be wrapped around me when Rune was near. Like he could protect me against anything and anyone, from the people and the absurdities of the Seelie Court.

He was there and his hand was between mine, and his eyes were wide and dark, the silver line in them barely visible—but he was alive.

“How in the world?” Lyall said for possibly the fifth time, shaking his head, pushing back his hair, rubbing his face as if to make sure he was seeing right as he looked at Rune.

Looking at him like he would rather believe he was a fucking ghost .

Then he came in front of him and put his hand on his shoulder. “ How ? How in the world did you survive that?!”

Terrified and impressed and suspicious—that’s what his voice sounded like.

“The same way I survive everything. Shadows,” Rune said, his eyes on the prince, and he did not look happy.

His shoulders were rigid and his muscles tight, and just the way he was gripping my hand—but it didn’t matter, did it?

He was here and I was fighting those damn tears to keep them from spilling out of my eyes, but a couple still slipped.

For a moment, all Lyall knew how to do was nod his head. Respect flashed in his eyes before he could help himself, before he smiled. “Well done, my friend. Impressive, as always. Well done .”

“Appreciate it, friend,” Rune said, his voice dark and just slightly above a whisper. “And you’re done with Nilah, too. The life bond is broken.”

“Yes, it is,” I said before Lyall could, and I was so damn eager to get the fuck out of there I had to stop myself from pulling Rune through the doorway. “It’s done. The ritual is over. I’m ready to leave.”

Please, please, let’s just leave…

“Well, you’re certainly not surprised,” Lyall said, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he looked at Rune’s hand in mine, then up at me. That smile on his face reminded me of snakes. “That means you knew, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “You knew Rune survived, and you didn’t tell me?”

“She didn’t know, only guessed,” Rune answered for me.

Lyall laughed. “Oh, so you’re speaking on her behalf now, too.”

“Lyall, we did the ritual. There’s nothing for me here anymore,” I said, my voice strong and clear, which didn’t surprise me.

Rune was here, and with every breath I took, I felt more like myself.

I fit my skin better, and even the cold that had spread all over my insides didn’t hurt anymore. Didn’t feel entirely uncomfortable.

“I will take her back home to Nerith, the same way I brought her here,” Rune said, squeezing my fingers, which meant he was thinking exactly what I was thinking—Lyall was not to be trusted. I could tell by the way his voice was strained—Rune was on edge, and he was prepared.

Prepared for an attack.

Meanwhile Lyall continued to shake his head and wrap a hand around his chin, sometimes looking at the floor and sometimes at us.

“Just give me a moment here,” he finally said. “Difficult not to feel… betrayed by the same people who are alive because of me.”

Stabs at my gut.

He looked at me. “You could have just told me about Rune, you know. Not let me make a fool out of myself trying to woo you, Nilah. And you—what kind of a man are you to stand there and watch another trying to win over a woman you obviously claim to care about?”

I squeezed Rune’s hand this time— please, don’t fall for it, don’t take the bait…

“I mean, you do, right?” Lyall looked at our linked hands again. “You do care about Nilah?”

Rune’s head leaned to the side just slightly, but he didn’t answer the question. Instead, he said, “Nobody betrayed you, Lyall. Nilah just wants to go back home, that’s all. This is no place for her and you know it.”

“You have no idea what I know,” Lyall spit. “And you’re still in my debt. Both of you. ”

Every inch of my skin rose in goose bumps. A bad feeling settled in my gut like I’d just swallowed a sack of fucking rocks. Now I was expecting an attack from Lyall—something bad. Something really bad, when…

“But despite”—he paused for a second as if searching for the right words—“ all of this , we were still lifebound, Nilah. And we were still friends, Rune. Tomorrow I will announce my coronation to the entire court, and I demand you be there to witness it. After all this time, after all we’ve gone through, you want to leave without seeing me with a crown on my head? ”

Fucking hell, he was a goddamn master at this.

One second he looked like he was going to cut your throat when you were asleep, and the next, Lyall would have you believe that he was truly heartbroken, that he really hadn’t known about me and Rune, that he felt betrayed—and that he wanted us to see him rise to power.

“Lyall, please,” I whispered because I had no clue what the fuck else to do, and I didn’t want to have to run, damn it. I didn’t want to have to leave here on bad terms, not after everything. I wanted to go back home without being fucking chased by the royal guard—by anyone at all.

“I saved your life, Nilah. And you saved mine. We have a lot of history together, and tomorrow will be the most important day of my life. You really want to leave right now, like this?”

My heart all but beat of my chest. Something inside me clicked—a memory of his young face, when he was just a boy, and I was just a girl in a forest. I remembered the light in his eyes and in his hands. I remembered the way he used to be.

“I’ll stay,” I said despite the thoughts rioting in my head and my instincts telling me to run already .

Then Rune said, “It will be an honor, friend.”

Lyall smiled.

Don’t ask me if it was genuine—he was too damn good at making any expression look authentic.

“Good, good. I’m glad to see you haven’t forgotten,” the prince said, straightening his shoulders. “And you, bastard, have a lot of explaining to do while Nilah rests.”

“Of course,” Rune said. “I’ll just escort her to her room, and we can have a drink.”

“Or two,” Lyall said and stepped back. “Go on. Go now. I’ll be waiting for you in my chambers.”

Just like that, he looked… okay. Calm. Exactly like he did in the beginning.

“And goodnight to you, beautiful Nilah. I will see you tomorrow.”

I don’t know what I said, if I even said anything, but when Rune pulled me by the hand, I walked. My legs carried me forward, down corridors and up stairs, and I didn’t want to be alone, damn it. Not now. I didn’t want to be away from Rune after everything!

Guards stayed behind us, six of them this time.

“Rune,” I whispered when we reached the sixth floor, but he squeezed my hand and shook his head just slightly. Not yet .

The patience cost me. I felt like I aged years in the time it took to get to that bedroom. The guards followed, then stationed near the walls when Rune pushed the door open to let me through.

Tears in my eyes, and they came out of nowhere. I gripped his hand tightly and I was determined not to let go—until Rune stepped in front of me and closed his other hand around my cheek.

He leaned down until our noses touched and his eyes were clearer now, a deep indigo, the silver maps there again.

“Don’t go,” I whispered, gripping his torn shirt, touching his face, his neck, his hair.

He’s here. He’s really here— yet some part of me still refused to believe it.

“I have to. Listen to me, Wildcat. We’re going to be okay, but we need to do this right, do you understand?” Rune whispered, and it was like the entire world was mine again.

I closed my eyes and more tears rolled down my cheeks. “I thought you…I thought you…”

No, I couldn’t even say it.

“I’m okay,” Rune said. “I’m not going anywhere. Look at me.”

I did. I blinked the blur of the tears away and I looked at him.

“You’re okay.”

“I am,” he said. “I’m fine.”

“Where were you, Rune? Why do you look like this, what?—”

“On purpose,” he whispered. “I look like this on purpose. And I have to go now, meet with the prince. Do not speak a word to anyone while I’m gone, okay? We can do this. We’re close.”

“Are you sure you can trust him?” I asked because I wasn’t.

“I don’t,” Rune said. “But that’s okay.”

“How? How is it okay?!” Because Lyall was a prince and he was powerful and he had a damn army at his back, too.

But Rune shook his head, brought his lips closer until they touched mine. “Trust me, wildling. Just trust me.”

I did. I trusted him more than I trusted myself, and when he kissed me, just a gentle press of his lips, I no longer felt as desperate.

For a moment, I hung onto his shoulders, felt him, felt all of him against me with my breath held.

Maybe it was my imagination, but he felt different. Still Rune, just…

“Different,” I whispered against his lips. “You’re different. What happened?”

I leaned back to look at him, but all he did was close his eyes and kiss the tips of my fingers. “I will be back.”

When he walked out of the door and closed it, his shadows slipped through the keyhole and the lock turned, I thought.

I spun around with my heart in my throat and analyzed every corner of the large room I’d slept in so many times now, feeling like it was suddenly filled with invisible snakes coming for my neck.

Fuck, it was so hard to breathe.

The cloak Lyall put around my shoulders ended up on the floor.

I kicked it all the way to the wall. Then I opened the balcony doors, hoping the fresh air would calm my racing thoughts, but it didn’t work.

So much had happened in such a short time and I was afraid my body wasn’t capable of handling it.

My limbs felt weak, frozen over, though my eyes saw no ice on my skin.

I was at a risk of losing my mind for real.