Page 51 of Moody's Grumpy Holiday

“You’re not my rebound, and you’re definitely no second-place prize.”

Moody huffed. “You say that now because you’re a gentleman. Next you’ll claim I’m a sexual dynamo with untapped potential.”

Hudson lifted my hand to his lips. “You are.”

I squeezed his fingers and whispered, “I’m simply afraid this is a seasonal romance. I can’t tell if it’s too much, too fast, too sudden, and…to be honest, it scares me.”

Silence.

“Oh.”

That single syllable echoed in my ears. “I ruined this, didn’t I?”

“Don’t be silly. We’re good.” He worried his bottom lip. “I don’t have all the answers, Moody. I know that I like this place and I love being with you, but I can’t tell you the future.”

“I know.” I laced our fingers, hoping my smile met my eyes. “It’s okay. There’s no rush.”

“You still don’t trust December, do you?”

I was too surprised to comment at first. “I…I suppose I don’t.”

Hudson nodded. “I understand. Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but I think you need space. More than you’ll get here with me.”

His Adam’s apple slid in his throat. “If you need me to go, I’ll go. But I’m not leaving, Moody. Not really. I’ll be back.”

“And I’ll be here.” I pushed hair from his eyes.

He crashed his mouth over mine, piercing me with a weighty look as he released me.

“Just so you know, it’s the same for me. You’re always on my mind. Always.”

Hudson made love to me that night…and it was different. He branded my lips with greedy kisses and moved inside me with a ferocity that took my breath away. It was as if he were saying words that couldn’t be spoken aloud with his body. Though I’d had no practice, I understood this language.

I detected the notes of distress and fear in both of us and gave them grace.

But in the morning, I was alone.

I was usedto being alone.

I was used to hollow expectations and disappointment. I was used to loss and sorrow. I braced for a flash of pain as a cold December wind whistled through the trees, testing the tethered blow-up reindeer on my neighbor’s lawn. It didn’t come.

So strange. I couldn’t figure it out. I should have been a wreck. I should have been a mess of tears and sadness. Eventually, the tears would clear, and I’d be cranky about my situation and before you could say Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I’d be my grouchy December self again. And I’d have no one but myself to blame.

But there were no stinging regrets, no angst against the universe, or bah-humbug malaise. I was still…happy.

Don’t get me wrong, my heart was a little tender, but it was full too.

I loved Hudson, and somehow, I knew he felt the same way. Maybe not the L-word, but something close.

Someday, when he was ready to hear the words and let me in, I’d tell him. And maybe we could be something special.

For now, there was power in letting go.

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HUDSON