Page 3

NATALIE

B linking, I stared up into nothing for a moment, not sure what had awakened me. Then I heard the soft little cry again, and I shot straight up. My face burned, my heart thudding. How could I have fallen asleep without a care in the world?

I have a BABY. A helpless infant. She depends on me.

Kroktl curled around me, giving me his chest to lean back against. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you need to rest.”

His tone surprised me, sharper and firmer than he’d ever spoken to me, though his hands stroked my back soothingly.

“You had major surgery.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, Snryx retracted one of his implements. “Not to mention the fact that you grew an entire healthy youngling in a matter of months. Your body has been through traumas that could have easily killed you numerous times.”

Swaying back and forth to rock the infant in his arms, Lohr grinned at me like he was having the time of his life. “I believe she’s hungry.”

He stepped closer and gently transferred her over to me. Guilt tightened my throat. She was clean and bathed, wrapped in some of the new blankets. Diapered. They’d done everything they could—except feed her.

“I’m sorry.” Lohr’s voice trembled, achingly soft. “I’ll do better next time.”

I jerked my gaze up to his, shaking my head. “No, I’m sorry. You did everything perfectly. I’m just completely out of my element and feeling pretty useless.”

Kroktl rumbled deep in his chest. “Nothing could be further from the truth. None of us would even be alive without you.”

“That’s not true.”

“It absolutely is. What do you think would have happened to the rest of us with Axxol captured?”

The baby cried again, more insistently, and I brought her back to my breast. I fumbled for a moment, trying to shift her around more comfortably. Her hungry little mouth rooted and searched against my skin and then boom. She latched on, knowing better than me what to do.

I couldn’t remember if she’d nursed on the same side or not. Wasn’t I supposed to switch back and forth? I didn’t want to be lopsided.

“He would have found a way to escape,” I muttered.

“No fucking way,” Axxol retorted.

He stood at the door, not quite as comfortable in the room we’d claimed as our primary sleeping space as the rest of the squad. In fact, he’d only been in here briefly once that I could recall, and he’d never slept in here.

He’d certainly never joined me in bed. Even though the rest of us had regularly slept and cuddled together.

I honestly thought he was mocking me at first, but now that I was on their grid, I could feel his emotions like another facet of my own. A bitter, acidic burn like a churning stomach, mixed with a whirling, sickening tumble as if the ground had suddenly fallen out from beneath my feet.

Fear. The prime alpha T-rex of the squad had been scared to death. Trapped and easily incapacitated, unable to free himself. Knowing he was dead. The squad, wiped out. Without him, they wouldn’t be able to escape.

Beneath the fear, another quivering wave of volcanic fire rippled. Rage. Not at DSC for trapping him, but at himself.

Because he’d refused to allow himself to even think about the possibilities of having a mate. He’d deliberately held himself apart, even going as far as to humiliate and insult me for being human. Lesser. Which only incapacitated the entire squad.

Until I miraculously showed up and freed him. Me. The ragged, weak, annoying human.

I couldn’t help but grin at him, even though my vision swam as my eyes filled up with unshed tears. “Glad my inferior genetics managed to save the day.”

“Inferior genetics my ass,” Snryx muttered.

“No offense, but I’m still confused about how none of you were able to sense the Myrm DNA inside me.”

Axxol’s upper lip curled in a grimace. “Especially since exterminating mrions is our sole purpose.”

“I ran numerous tests comparing your DNA with Kroktl’s, and I didn’t find any specific correlations,” Snryx admitted. “Lohr and I hoped to be able to understand what made you a compatible mate when all other humans simply smelled like food. No offense, Natalie.”

I had been terrified at first that the terrible lizard monster would eat me alive.

Kroktl rumbled in my head. :This lizard monster will eat you alive all day, all night, for the rest of our lives.:

Blushing beet red, I was thankful he hadn’t said it aloud.

But Snryx’s lips quirked and Axxol huffed out a low huff of amusement, and somehow it was even more embarrassing to realize they’d all heard his—and my—thoughts.

The grid opened us all up to each other, sharing not just thoughts but every little emotion and physical response.

At least my body didn’t immediately roar into overdrive at the thought of Kroktl settling in for a long feast. Though my heart rate quickened, my muscles loosening, melting me back against him.

Just the memory of how he filled me up or worshipped me with his tongue, which only reminded me of Lohr’s tongue. Or Snryx’s implements…

It took all my willpower to drag my mind back to focus on the present issue.

“That’s what makes the Myrm strategy all the more impressive,” Lohr said. “Even two of the best specialists in DSC didn’t notice anything suspicious in your DNA, even when we were looking for answers.”

“Which begs the question,” Axxol drawled. “How and what the fuck did HQ discover to decide to annihilate Earth in the first place?”

“How often were dyni squads deployed to Earth?” I asked.

Kroktl let out a rumbly growl. “No way for us to know. All missions are classified. We only ever had access to our own shit, and only while we were on the mission itself.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Snryx replied. “As the medic, I did keep basic health files on all of us across all the missions. Certainly not to the detail HQ had but maybe there’s something there.”

I craned my neck trying to turn my head enough to see Kroktl’s face. “Wait, don’t you remember the other missions?”

“Only details that might serve a future mission. Even then, it usually wasn’t our memories solely but a conglomeration of all squads’ activity in the area, sanitized and stripped down to only what we needed to know.”

Rizan wasn’t in the room with us but he immediately replied on the grid. :I’ll run some analysis from the comms side and see if I can find anything in the logs they might not have thought of.:

Kroktl traced a gentle finger over our baby’s downy head and across her cheek. Her eyes blinked heavily, her swallows slowing. She hadn’t nursed very long.

A thousand questions flickered through my mind rapid fire.

Did I have enough milk? Was it sufficient for her needs?

What if she needed meat like her father?

How would I know? Then my thoughts quickly shifted to the squad.

How they’d lived only during their missions, knowing they would return to HQ and have their own memories sanitized . What an awful word.

Her little mouth softened enough to allow my nipple to slide out, though her mouth still made little sucking motions in her sleep.

“You’re both perfect,” Snryx said in a low, solemn voice. “She has everything she could possibly need to survive and thrive.”

Blinking back tears again, I tucked her close, while Kroktl enfolded us both against his broad chest. “I hope so. I just don’t want to mess up and put her at risk.”

“You’ve got this, baby. And I got you.”

Axxol grunted. “We all do.”