Page 25

25

ADELLUM

I hate that Sior is here. It has me unsettled and angry, reminds me of all the things I left behind. I realize how much I've come to love being in Saufort, and not just because of Harmony.

Though she will always be the main factor for me.

She should be finishing with work soon, and I am desperate to see her already. I round the corner of Marda's restaurant and the world narrows to a single point.

Sior. His fingers wrapped around Harmony's arm. Her face, pale with shock and pain.

"You won't do it again." His voice carries across the yard, dripping with contempt. He yanks her closer, his other hand raised. "I won't let you get in the way after all I've done?—"

I don't make the conscious decision to move. One heartbeat I'm across the yard, the next I'm there, a sound tearing from my throat that doesn't resemble anything human or xaphan. It's the sound of something ancient, something that lived in the dark before there were names for monsters.

"Get your fucking hands off her."

Sior's head whips toward me, eyes widening. Too late, he recognizes his mistake.

My magic doesn't build gradually like it usually does. It explodes from me in a concussive wave, raw and unfiltered. The pale silver light that normally dances at my fingertips now surges forth like liquid metal, superheated and unstoppable. It slams into Sior with such force that he's lifted off his feet before he can even raise a defensive shield.

"Adellum, don—" Harmony's voice cuts off as I step between her and Sior.

I don't speak. I can't. Everything I am has channeled into the magic pouring from me like blood from an arterial wound. The ground beneath us trembles—not metaphorically, but actually shakes as though the earth itself recoils from what's happening above it. The very air seems to splinter around Sior's body as my magic consumes him.

Sior's mouth opens, but whatever plea or curse he means to utter never forms. His body contorts, spine arching at an impossible angle. His wings crumple like paper in flame. The man who shaped my career, who I once looked to as family, falls to the ground at my feet with a soft, anticlimactic thud.

The silence that follows roars in my ears. Sior lies crumpled like a discarded marionette, limbs bent at unnatural angles, eyes open but seeing nothing.

"You actually killed him." Harmony's voice comes from behind me, quiet with shock.

I turn to her, my breath still coming in harsh pants. "He touched you."

My words hang in the air between us. Simple. Factual. As if they explain everything—and to me, they do.

"You just... gods, Adellum. You didn't even hesitate." She's not moving away from me, but her arms wrap around herself protectively.

I look down at Sior's body, then back to her. The rage that fueled me moments ago doesn't ebb. It transforms, crystallizing into something colder and more focused.

"He was going to hurt you." I flex my fingers, still crackling with residual magic. "I've spent five years without you. I will not lose you again—not to him, not to anyone."

"That's not—" She stops, swallows. "That's not normal, Adellum. You can't just kill people who threaten me."

A harsh laugh escapes me. "Can't I?" The blue crystal in my pocket digs into my palm where I've unconsciously grabbed it. "I told you I would tear the world apart to find you. Did you think I was being poetic?"

The wind shifts, carrying the scent of smoke and cooking food from the restaurant. Behind us, there's the sound of a door opening, someone shouting in alarm.

Harmony meets my eyes, and I see something there I hadn't expected: not fear, but a dawning realization. "You really would do anything, wouldn't you?"

"For you. For Brooke." I step closer to her, careful not to touch her though every cell in my body screams to hold her. "Everything I am belongs to you both now. I failed you once. Never again."

Harmony just stares at me, looking at me like she did after I killed that nymph. Right before I found her trying to run again.

And I can almost feel it now. That I've shattered what little I've been able to rebuild with her because she will never be able to accept me for who I am, for how I became so twisted and obsessed over her.

I stand over Sior's body, my chest heaving with ragged breaths that feel like they're tearing my lungs apart. The silver light still dances at my fingertips, unwilling to recede back into my body. My wings spread behind me involuntarily, the soft gray feathers bristled and full—a defensive posture I haven't needed since I was a child being beaten in the streets.

Sior's eyes stare emptily at the sky. The man who shaped me, molded me, used me. The man I trusted for years despite everything screaming that I shouldn't. Dead by my hand without a second's hesitation.

I turn to Harmony, and the expression on her face hits me harder than any magic ever could. She looks at me like I'm a stranger. No—worse. Like I'm exactly what she always feared I might be.

"Harmony." My voice breaks on her name. "He was?—"

The restaurant door bangs open wider behind us. I hear Marda's sharp intake of breath, followed by her urgent whisper, "Gods above and below."

Panic floods through me, a cold rush replacing the hot fury of moments ago. I can't lose her again. Not after finding her. Not after finally getting this close to her. The thought of Harmony pulling away, taking Brooke, running where I can't follow—it hollows me out from the inside.

"Get inside," I say to Harmony, my voice rough. "I'll take care of this."

I bend down, grabbing Sior's cooling corpse by the shoulders. His wings drag uselessly behind him as I start hauling him away from the restaurant. Away from her. My own wings fold tight against my back, an unconscious attempt to make myself smaller, less threatening. The irony doesn't escape me—as if I could erase what she just witnessed.

"What are you doing?" Harmony calls after me, still frozen in place.

"I'm protecting you." The words come out more harshly than I intend. I drag Sior's body toward the tree line at the edge of Marda's property. "Go inside. Please."

"Adellum, stop." Her voice has that edge to it, that steel I'd first fallen in love with. "You can't just drag a body through town."

I halt, my hands still fisted in Sior's fine jacket. "Then what would you have me do? Leave him for everyone to see? For Brooke to see?" My voice cracks on our daughter's name. "I won't—I can't have her look at me the way you're looking at me right now."

Harmony takes a hesitant step forward. "How am I looking at you?"

"Like I'm a monster." The words tear from my throat. "Like I'm everything you ran from."

I wait for her to speak, to tell me I'm wrong. To reach out and pull me back from this cliff edge I'm teetering on.

She doesn't.

Her silence is a blade between my ribs, twisting deeper with each heartbeat. I've seen that look on others' faces before—the day I realized she was gone, when I tore through Lord Arkan's estate searching for her, terrorizing servants and guards alike until I realized she was well and truly gone.

I can't bear it. Not again.

Without another word, I haul Sior's lifeless body over my shoulder. His weight feels inconsequential compared to the heaviness settling in my chest. I stride toward the tree line at the edge of town, my wings tight against my back, the tips occasionally brushing the ground in my haste. The brush of feathers against dirt makes my skin crawl, but I can't slow down.

Harmony's gaze burns into my back. I feel it like a physical touch but I don't turn around. Can't. If I see rejection in her eyes, I'll shatter right here in the middle of this godsforsaken village square.

The woods grow denser as I follow the narrow path that leads to the river. Fallen leaves crunch under my boots, branches catch on my clothing as if the forest itself tries to hold me back. The sun sinks low, casting long fingers of light through the trees, turning everything gold and shadow. Any other time, I would find it beautiful—the kind of scene I'd want to paint with Harmony watching over my shoulder, her chin resting on the crown of my head.

"What have I done?" I mutter to myself, the words escaping before I can trap them behind my teeth.

Killed the man who was like a father to me. The man who made me what I am today. The man who tried to touch what's mine.

No, I don't regret killing him. I'd do it again. But the timing—gods, the timing. Just when I thought I was making progress with her.

The sound of rushing water grows louder. I approach the riverbank, my steps slowing as I consider what to do with Sior's body. The river is deep here, the current swift. It would carry him far from Saufort, perhaps all the way to the sea.

I kneel, gently laying Sior's body on the mossy ground. His face looks peaceful in death, more serene than I ever saw it in life. Always calculating, always scheming, always pushing me toward what he thought I should be.

"You should have left her alone," I tell him, my voice hollow in the empty forest. "I would have forgiven anything else."

I reach into his jacket pocket, retrieving the papers I know he always carries. Contracts, probably. Agreements for my next commission, my next performance. All the ways he planned to profit from me while keeping me trapped in my gilded cage.

I drop them next to his body before lifting him again. The water is cold when I wade in, soaking through my clothes. Sior's wings drag behind us, water-logged and heavy. When I'm chest-deep, I release him, watching as the current takes him. His body floats for a moment before being pulled under, disappearing into the murky depths.

"Goodbye, Sior." The words taste like ash.

I stand in the river, letting the cold water numb me from the feet up. What now? How do I go back to her? How do I make her understand that everything I've done—everything I am—is for her and Brooke?

The blue crystal digs into my palm where I've unconsciously squeezed it again. I pull it out, studying its rough edges in the fading light. It was meant to be a gift for Harmony, set in silver for her birthday. Now I wonder if she'll even let me near her again.

Five years I searched for her. Five years of becoming something harder, darker, more desperate. And in the span of moments, I've shown her exactly what those years made me.

I wade back to shore, my clothes clinging to me like a second skin. Night is falling fast now, the forest growing darker around me. I should head back to the village, face whatever comes next. But my feet won't move.

What if she tries to run again?

The thought freezes my blood despite my soaked, freezing clothing. I can't lose her. Not again. Not ever again. I'll chase her to the ends of every realm if I have to.

But gods, I don't want to chase. I want her to choose me. To love me. To see that everything—every monstrous, terrible thing I've become—I became for her…

And still want every part of the blackened soul that has only belonged to her.