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“A baby? Of course you would not want a child. Nor do I.” He looked like the idea of pregnancy was outside the realms of possibility. “We are both far too young.”

“Are you saying you’ve been…?” She mimed scissors with her fingers.

His look of horror grew, and he stared down at his crotch.

“I thought not.” Poppy sighed and walked around Rai and the car to find her shirt, shaking it out extra well to make sure a scorpion hadn’t decided to settle in.

“You are angry,” Rai said, voice wary.

“I’m not.” Frustrated and horny and a little disappointed, yes.

“It's not just on you. I could have brought something, and I”— didn't have the money, didn't have the time, didn't think it was likely to happen, no matter what my hormones wanted —“I wasn't prepared.” She bit her lip, returning his wariness. “Are you angry?”

His brow knit. “I have no reason for anger.”

She could name a good dozen guys she’d known who would have been furious.

But he didn’t look angry, either. “I’m glad.

I don’t mean to be… I don’t know. A flake?

” More unflattering words came squirming into her mind, in Brendan’s voice, but she was in control again.

She shoved them ruthlessly back in their can.

“But I think…this is probably a good place to stop for the night.”

Part of her felt guilty—she should at least offer him a hand job, after the way he'd sent her soul flying—but while it would have felt natural and beautiful before, now it would feel forced, like a chore instead of a joy, and she suspected Rai would be able to tell the difference.

There was not being in the mood, which might be fixable, and there was having that mood ripped out of you by demons of the past, which was definitely not.

Rai’s face sank into glum lines, as she'd half expected, but then he surprised her again. “You will leave me in the desert.”

Poppy laughed at that. The idea that Rai was trying to trap or manipulate her seemed more ridiculous every moment.

“No, I’ll take you back to your hotel. Um, just…

Maybe drop by the drugstore before our next date?

” She'd crunch the numbers after she collected her payment from Cafe Legend.

Maybe there would be enough left over after the tests to get a box.

She'd rather have sex with Rai than a scone, that was for damn sure.

He nodded vigorously and took a few steps toward her. “I do not wish to hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” Poppy replied honestly. “I just… Well, I thought I was ready, but I’m not. I wasn’t expecting it to hit me like that. ”

Rai came closer. “I do not regret it,” he said. “Except the end.”

“I don’t, either.” She closed the rest of the distance between them and set her hand to his cheek, searching his face.

He didn’t seem resentful, though there was turmoil in his eyes—if she didn’t know better, she’d think there were actual storm clouds swirling in his irises.

“I’m sorry. I’m a mess. A selfish, broken mess.

I’d totally understand if you never wanted to call me again. ”

He smiled faintly, leaning into her hand. “I have not called you the first time yet. I do not have your number.”

“We can fix that.” She tipped up her face to his, and he met her halfway in a kiss that was sweet enough to make her want to cry. “You’re sure you want to?”

He frowned, fierce. “I have said it. I wish to.”

Poppy laughed. “Fine. I’ll work on getting over my need to apologize for existing.

Get your phone out. I’ll add my number.” She leaned in the open car window to retrieve her phone from where she’d left it in the dashboard mount.

No new messages, thank fuck. When she turned back around, Rai was beaming and holding up a phone-shaped object that glittered in the moonlight. “Holy shit, what’s that?”

“My phone case,” Rai said proudly, tilting it to reflect the moonlight more. “Is it not glorious?”

Poppy turned on her flashlight, angling her phone to illuminate the phone case.

“It’s…not what I expected.” Though perhaps she should have expected that the guy who had proudly donned a Great-Wave-of-Kanagawa Hawaiian shirt would also choose a phone case covered in thousands of colorful rhinestones depicting a design of— “Are those poppies?”

“They are.” Rai was staring at her phone, though. “It makes light.”

“Yeah, they all do.” She reached out and traced one of the bright flowers. “Why poppies?”

“They made me think of you,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice. “Can you teach me to make light, as yours does?”

“Y-yes, of course.” Poppy took his phone from his hand, suppressing a tremble.

“Let me get my number in, first.” She went to his contacts, blinking.

He had only one other, someone named Ofelia with no last name.

She resisted the urge to pry about her—or him, but Ofelia sounded female to her—quickly typing in her name and number instead.

It wasn’t any of her business who Rai had in his contacts, and having been stabbed in the back once didn’t entitle her to spying from the get-go.

“Okay, so send me a text later on, and then I’ll have your number, too. ”

Rai watched in awe as Poppy showed him the flashlight feature. He accepted his phone back and switched it on and off a few times, concentrating, then gave a sharp nod. “You must return to your mother now.”

“Yeah.” Poppy shifted uncomfortably, not wanting the evening to end, even though she’d been the one to say it had to. “So…are you busy tomorrow?”

He shook his head. “I am yours.”

“Did you want to get coffee again? I have to go there to collect… Rai, do you remember the drawing that you liked?”

He looked out into the darkness quickly. “Yes, I remember.”

Poppy frowned in the same direction. “Is there a coyote?”

“No.”

“Oh. Okay. Anyhow, that drawing? I… I sold it.”

“That is wonderful and very surprising news,” he said, then looked back at her. “So you must collect your payment?”

“Yeah, and I was thinking…” She huffed out a nervous breath. “Maybe we can meet up and just…talk some more. You know, in a situation where we’re not going to get all…gropey.”

“Yes,” he said quickly. “At what time? I will treat.”

They hammered out the details quickly, then got on the road. The address Rai gave her wasn’t far from her mom’s house, actually, close enough that she could walk over if she wanted to. Except she didn’t want to, once she saw it.

“You’re staying here ?” she asked as she pulled into the parking lot. She didn’t mean for that last word to come out with such disbelief, but to be fair, it looked absolutely appalling. Like it made half its money as a location for low-budget horror movies.

“Yes,” Rai said cheerfully. “That is my room.” He pointed at a door on the second floor. “They have promised not to tell, but you may know.”

“Okay. I hope you checked for bedbugs.”

He gave her a blank look. “They…have wifi.”

“The bedbugs do?” she teased.

He grinned and leaned across the gear shift to kiss her, somehow managing to set her toes curling in just a brief brush of lips. “I will meet you at the ants at nine,” he said, and exited.

Poppy watched wistfully until he had gone inside, wishing briefly that she’d just said fuck it and taken him on a condom shopping spree, then back to her place.

(Not his, ever.) But it was for the best. It wasn’t fair to load Rai up with all her baggage and then expect him to want to be her lover.

Especially since he probably wouldn’t be in town much longer—he hadn’t said yet, and she hadn’t thought to ask, but it was unlikely there were enough businesses needing toilet paper for him to be in town for months.

She’d lay it on the line tomorrow, see how he felt in the harsh light of day, find out what his timeline was, and go from there.

And if that involved a condom shopping spree, well, she could work on the therapy to make that worth Rai’s while.