Page 85 of Mistletoe and Christmas Kisses
A step ahead, Adam paused, turned.
“I was investigating a story. Falsified government contracts. Bribery. It involved a family business, which I infiltrated. Asher. You may remember the name, one of your father’s associates, I think. Anyway, I met Kate at a company event. Before either one of us realized it, we were spending a lot of time together. Just good friends. Then, the walks along the river turned into dinners at a restaurant I frequented, followed by two-hour chess matches.” He laughed. “She was a damn good chess player. Anyway, I didn’t tell her, I never had the chance to tell her, I should say...about the investigation. I didn’t tell her anything about the newspaper. Just acted like I worked for Asher, nothing more, nothing less.”
He kicked a lump of dirt into the weeds lining the road. “Except, there was more than her working for Asher. She” —he glanced at Adam, then at his feet— “she was his fiancé.”
“As in supposed to marry him?”
“Sounds really bad, doesn’t it?”
Adam closed his eyes on a worn sigh. “Tell me you didn’t use her for information.”
“I didn’t. Adam, I found more than enough on my own.”
An accusing silence, fraught with guilt and the severe snap of half-frozen straw, settled between them.
Adam cupped his hands around his mouth and blew into them. “She found out by reading your article? Couldn’t you have told her before the damn thing went to press?”
Tanner tilted his head and gazed at the sky. Thousands of stars, more than he had ever seen, winked back at him from black velvet folds. “I took the finished story to my editor and told him everything. How I infiltrated the company, about my friendship with Kate, that I needed time. One week. I asked him to wait to print. He agreed. The next morning I...we, Kate and I…had a luncheon appointment. I dressed, opened the newspaper over coffee and—” He shook his head, unable to finish.
“He printed.”
A grim laugh burst from Tanner’s mouth. “Under my byline. Largest type I’d ever been given.”
“Did you explain it to her?”
“Of course. I pleaded. Me” —he rapped his chest— “Tanner Barkley. Pleading. With a woman. Went rushing to her house, all the way practicing these desperate explanations. I had been planning to tell her for three weeks. Gathering courage to tell her, I guess.”
Tanner didn’t mention arriving at the Times office later that day, arguing with his editor and breaking the bastard’s nose. Or, just after, picking up his grandmother’s engagement ring—resized to fit Kat’s dainty finger. A ring now sitting in the top drawer of his desk. “She was pretty cold-hearted. Returned my letters. Refused my calling cards, which I had to dig out of my moldy university trunk, mind you. Threw a rock at my head from a second story window. Hell, I even sent a telegraph to her crab of a mother.”
“Mrs. Peters?”
“Who else?”
Adam clapped his hands over his eyes. “Heaven help us all.”
“Come to think of it, she wasn’t too pleased to see me this morning.”
Adam groaned. “Charlie’s decorating party is going to have more spark than she can handle.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Nothing.” Adam dropped his hands by his side, his shoulders slumping. “So, you haven’t spoken with Kate since then?”
“No. Except a distant greeting at a ball. Once outside a shop. Oh, and a crowded street two months ago. And only if I sneak up on her. Catch her unaware. If she sees me coming, forget it.”
“You could try again.”
“No, I damn well will not try again. Not after she ran right out and hooked old Crawford like a limp fish. I know I hurt her, when she deserved honesty. But, at the time, I couldn’t afford to give up the information. I realize the blame lies with me, yet....” Yet, he’d come to think she had hurt him even worse than he had hurt her. She hadn’t been the fool who fell in love, left holding an empty bag of dreams. And an engagement ring he could not stand to touch.
They continued along the road, through a dense copse of pines. Moonlight lit the path in scattered patches, but Tanner followed Adam, stepping blindly, not sure how far they were from the house. He would not have cared except his strength leaked away faster than water from a sieve.
“Left here, Tan.”
They turned onto a narrow drive, centered by a rounded ridge of brown grass. Tanner forced one foot in front of the other. A crisp breeze raised his hair from his collar. He coughed, shivered. Glancing to the side, he caught Adam’s frown.
He searched the shadowed porch, finding two rocking chairs and a large orange cat. “She’s not here, is she?” he asked and blinked, the edges of his vision fading. If he made a fool of himself, collapsed or something, he didn’t want to do it in front of Kat.
If he woke to find her touching him, gazing at him with those mysterious amber eyes, he honestly didn’t know what he might do.