Page 49 of Missing Pieces (Brantley Walker: Off the Books #12)

Granted, he hadn’t spent the past decade waiting.

Quite the opposite, really. No, he’d spent that time doing his best to piss off any potential romantic interest because the desire hadn’t been there.

Initially, it was due to the fact he’d been raped.

Waking up to find out he’d been roofied, force-fed Viagra, and sexually assaulted by his brother’s wife was a hell he never wanted to relive.

Almost as bad was the fact that his sister-in-law had set it up so that Slade found them. Of course, his brother believed the worst of him, and to this day, Spencer hadn’t bothered to correct him. Why should he?

Spencer had steered clear of pretty much anyone for the first few years after that.

Trying to wrap his head around how something like that could happen wasn’t easy.

But several years later, he’d gotten past the denial and realized it wasn’t his fault.

Of course, therapy would’ve fast-tracked that, but he’d fought the idea of opening up to anyone about the event.

It was just easier to pretend it never happened.

For the most part, that worked, since he didn’t remember the actual incident, only the lingering effects of the drugs afterward.

If it weren’t for Jennifer’s boasting about how good it was for her, he could’ve put the whole thing behind him.

Probably.

Okay, probably not, but Spencer liked to believe that.

He didn’t remember what happened, but now and then, there would be a flash of something that niggled at his brain.

He suspected it was remnants of that night, so he always forced them back.

As far as he was concerned, the repressed memories were better off buried.

These days, as had been the case every day since, Spencer was doing the one day at a time thing. It wasn’t until Archer that he’d felt that flame come to life, burning hot inside him.

Did he want a relationship with Archer? The correct answer should be yes, but he couldn’t help thinking, probably not.

Sure, he realized that sounded crass, but it was the truth.

Spencer figured he needed to get a few rolls in the hay under his belt before he decided to settle down.

He was pretty sure Archer was looking for something a bit more serious, and since Spencer didn’t want to scare him off, he was willing to oblige.

At the same time, he was getting irritated by Archer’s stalling tactic.

The man claimed he wanted to take things slow, but he was throwing some serious mixed signals—a steady yellow light, never green, never red.

Spencer was looking for the green light.

He saw no reason why they couldn’t indulge for a while.

Sex for the sake of pleasure had to be a good thing. No strings, no complications.

Hitting the button to place the pizza order on his phone, he took a deep breath and set his phone down.

“So what do we do while we wait?” he asked, turning to see Archer sitting on the couch.

The man was enormous. And hot as a Texas summer. Fuck. Just looking at him made Spencer’s dick hard and that wasn’t something that happened often.

“We could talk,” Archer suggested.

“Talk?” Yeah, he knew he sounded disappointed. He was.

“It’s what people do on dates.”

“They also fuck,” he said, trying to sound like he was teasing. He wasn’t.

Archer’s brow furrowed. He opened his mouth as though to speak, but then closed it.

“What?” Spencer took a step toward him. “You’ve never had casual sex before?”

“Plenty,” Archer said, watching him.

He joined Archer on the couch, keeping some space between them. “Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m not looking for casual.”

This time, Spencer frowned. “Then what are you lookin’ for?” Before Archer could respond, Spencer shook his head. “And don’t tell me you’re lookin’ for a relationship.”

“And what if I am?”

“Bullshit.”

Archer’s frown deepened.

“Look,” Spencer told him. “I get that I probably freaked you out and all that, but I’m good. I swear it. I don’t have a problem with casual. In fact, I prefer it.”

Right before his eyes, Archer’s entire countenance shifted. He closed down the same as if someone had shut a door behind his eyes. A second later, Archer looked at his watch.

“I should probably be goin’.”

“Pizza’s on the way, remember?”

“I’m not all that hungry.”

As soon as Archer got to his feet, Spencer did too. “So what? Are you a dick tease? Is that what gets you off?”

Archer continued toward the door, not looking back, and not responding.

“Fuck you, then,” Spencer bit out. “I’m sorry if I’m not lookin’ to pledge my love just to get fucked.”

When Archer did look back as he opened the front door, Spencer saw a wealth of disappointment in his gaze.

As soon as the sexy man stepped outside, Spencer was slammed with guilt and regret.

Funny that. He’d managed to push away plenty of guys over the years, but this was the first time he felt bad about it.

Probably for the best. Spencer doubted he could give anyone what Archer was looking for. Though he would never admit it, there was a piece of him that was broken and likely always would be. There was nothing he could do to change that.