Page 14 of Missing

Dear Mr. Dalton,

I have taken the liberty of writing this letter to express my feelings toward you freely and honestly.

You may be surprised to learn that I also deeply admire you, though it is clear that my sentiments are of no consequence to you.

Evidently, what matters most to you is what you believe, think, and feel.

Believe me when I tell you that you are not the only gentleman who has declared his admiration for me, regardless of my own feelings.

In this letter, I wish to tell you more about myself and my opinion of you. I am indeed a gentleman's daughter; still, my supposed social superiority over you will exist only as long as my father lives…

Elizabeth then explained in detail the situation of her father's estate and its entailment. She eloquently pointed out that once her father died, she, her mother, and her unmarried sisters would be left virtually homeless, dependent on their family's charity.

I want you to understand that despite my good disposition and joy, nothing can recommend me in the eyes of people like you.

Nobody is interested in learning about my feelings or what I desire for my future.

It seems that I am too insignificant, and no one wishes to take the trouble to see me for who I am, rather than for what I represent.

The irony of it all is that if you had been a wealthy gentleman, you would also have rejected me for being too poor and belonging to an unsuitable family.

On the letter's second page, Elizabeth described her family's circumstances and the dysfunctional atmosphere of her home. At last, she confessed her disappointment and assured him that he need not worry, for she would do everything possible to prevent their meeting again.

Today, more than ever, I know that my future depends only on myself and that I cannot expect anything from anyone. I was willing to give you a chance if you were willing to give me one, but I know that will never happen. I sincerely wish you the best and hope you may fulfil all your dreams.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Bennet

William read the letter several times. Everything Elizabeth had written forced him to reflect on his behaviour towards her.

He realized he had deeply wounded the woman he loved by assuming many things that were not even remotely true.

She, however, had been willing to give their affection a chance, while he had been weak, placing social expectations between them.

He could not help but weep and wonder what he had done.

The night before, he had scarcely slept, and now sadness and hopelessness overwhelmed him entirely.

In his exhaustion, he fell asleep, his head resting upon the desk, Elizabeth's letter still in his hands.

As always, he dreamt of that woman shouting at him while she pushed him into the river.

Violet grew concerned. Her son had been locked in his study for more than an hour and had not emerged. She decided to make sure all was well. Entering the room, she found William asleep, muttering incoherently, apparently in the midst of a nightmare.

"William, son, are you well?" Violet asked, trying to wake him.

William started awake, rose, and embraced his mother for several minutes without uttering a word. She stroked his hair, speaking gentle words of comfort. Since childhood, he had been plagued by nightmares, and she had always known how to calm him, reminding him of her love.

"I am sorry, Mother. I fell asleep and was dreaming. I should go to the port now," William explained more calmly.

Violet noticed the tears on his face and became distressed. He was a man who maintained absolute control of his emotions, and as an adult, she had only seen him weep on the day his father died.

"I am sorry, son, but you are not going anywhere until you explain what has happened." She saw the letter in his hands and asked, "Is it that letter which has disturbed you so? Are there problems with your business?"

"No, Mother, everything goes well with the company." William sighed and invited her to sit near the fireplace.

"Son, please tell me, what troubles you?"

"I believe I am the most foolish man in all England, Mother." Seeing her questioning look, William told her everything that had passed between himself and Elizabeth, and the contents of the letter.

Violet was not surprised that her son loved Elizabeth, but she was astonished at his conduct. Nor had she known Elizabeth's situation, for her niece Madeline was most discreet.

"What are you going to do, son?"

"I do not know, Mother."

"But I trust you are not considering giving up so easily?"

"Mother, there are so many things I must consider. Besides, I do not wish to wound her again, and I fear she has lost all respect for me." William began to arrange the papers on his desk. "I think it is best to go to the port before it grows too late."

"You are just like your father, son. You always think and overthink, which is useful in business, but not in matters of the heart.

You have met a wonderful lady who admires you and desperately needs a good gentleman's love and protection.

Son, do not miss this opportunity. You and Elizabeth deserve to be happy, and I am certain that once you resolve your differences, all will be well between you. "

"So what do you think I should do, Mother?" William asked at once.

"I think you should travel to Hertfordshire as soon as possible and tell Elizabeth how much you love her."

Violet approached him, kissed his forehead, and added, "William, do not be afraid of happiness."

She then left him alone in the study to give him time to think.

William remained seated for several minutes in reflection.

At last, before leaving for the port, he summoned his assistant to put everything in order and to inform him that they would travel to Hertfordshire the following day.

He had resolved to give his relationship with Elizabeth a chance and to be honest with her concerning his true origin.

◆◆◆

Mr. Bennet noticed a change in his daughter. She appeared more withdrawn, as though something weighed upon her mind. Yet he did not know how to approach the subject; speaking with a young girl was never easy. He therefore resorted to sarcasm to break the cold silence.

"Lizzy, what are you pondering so intently? Remember, your mother insists that a young lady ought not to waste her time in thought—unless, of course, she is considering how to capture the attention of a wealthy gentleman."

Elizabeth usually found her father's wit amusing, but this time she was not inclined to endure his teasing. She chose instead to change the subject.

"I am a little concerned about Jane, Papa."

"You should not be, Lizzy. She is marrying a wealthy gentleman who loves her dearly. As your mother says, she has saved you," Mr. Bennet replied, winking at his daughter.

But Elizabeth was not jesting. "Papa, do you truly not care that Jane will belong to a family where her opinion holds no weight?"

Mr. Bennet's manner grew serious, and he answered curtly. "Jane is a practical girl, and I believe she understands that one cannot have everything in life. She will marry a rich man who loves her, and she supposes that is enough to make her happy."

"I suppose you are correct, Father," Elizabeth replied, though unconvinced. Indeed, Jane always accepted both fortune and misfortune with composure. Perhaps that was why her dear sister deserved happiness, while she herself never would.

She took up a book and pretended to read, for she had no desire to continue the conversation. She felt too sad and disappointed with life to engage in a cynical discussion with her father.

She could not help but compare Mr. Bennet with William. The man she loved was so responsible that he would sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of honour, while her father accepted nearly everything with resignation, provided he need not leave his study or his books.

"Lizzy, do not waste your time reading! I require your help urgently," Mrs. Bennet declared as she entered her husband's study abruptly.

"I told you so, Lizzy," added Mr. Bennet, amused.

"Jane does not spend all her time reading or walking in the fields, and you see, she has caught a rich husband who will help you all to meet and marry other rich men. But no man will love you if you are so rebellious."

Elizabeth only smiled, knowing her mother spoke such nonsense with the best intentions. She remembered with a tender pang that William had once told her he admired her precisely for those very qualities her mother condemned.

"How may I assist you, Mama?"

"I want you to speak with Jane and persuade her to disregard her sisters-in-law's opinions, so that I may decorate the church with flowers of many colours. A church with only white flowers will look dismal, and my daughter's wedding must be a joyous occasion."

"I shall see what I can do, but if Caroline and Louisa insist upon white flowers only, I think Jane will not contradict them."

"Those women are always hovering about Jane, telling her what to do. Mr. Bennet, you ought to intervene and remind them that we, as the bride's parents, are in charge of the wedding arrangements."

"I am sorry, Mrs. Bennet, but I know nothing of flowers, lace, or weddings, so I would rather keep out of it," Mr. Bennet replied without lifting his eyes from his book.

"Oh, Mr. Bennet!"

"Mama, we had better let my father finish his book. Let us go speak with Jane before she leaves for Netherfield," Elizabeth interposed, wishing to prevent a quarrel between her parents.

"Very well, Lizzy. We shall speak to Jane, for your father delights in tormenting my poor nerves."

Elizabeth took her mother's arm, and together they went to speak with Jane, while Mr. Bennet rejoiced at having regained his peace.

P&P