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W hat have I done! She was such a selfish fool. She thought she’d done his party and Julian a favor by letting the world know why their party pushed for more. If people understood the issues, they would vote to ban the owning of slaves, not just the trading in them. They’d return his party to power at the coming election.

But she’d not thought things through, as usual. That was what she had Julian for. He always tempered her extreme ideas, but she’d thought to surprise him. And now he could barely look at her. She’d betrayed him and destroyed his career. She’d taken his private information and used it. She should not have done it.

How could she ever look at him again? How could she earn his forgiveness?

How could she make it right?

As she entered the ballroom, it was as if everyone knew what she’d done. All she remembered was the anger and disappointment on Julian’s face. Would he forgive her? Would he still want to marry her? She wanted to go home and cry and cry and cry.

She couldn’t marry him if he hated her. She could not bear to live with him when he despised her.

“There you are,” Valora said. “Where have you… I say, are you all right?”

“No. I want to go home. Can we go home?” She couldn’t face Julian. She wanted to leave.

Claire and Tiffany arrived at Valora’s side just as Valora said, “Mother won’t let me go home until I’ve had my dance with Northbrook.”

The ladies could see how upset Serena was. Claire said, “Tiffany and I are leaving. I’ll escort you home. Valora, you can tell your mother Serena’s not well.”

It was the truth. She felt sick to her stomach. “Thank you.”

They gathered their shawls and soon they were out in the fresh night air, waiting for the carriage to be brought round.

“You know I’m here for you,” Claire mentioned. “If Julian has upset—”

“No,” she almost screamed. “It’s not Julian’s fault. I have done something so stupid and so terrible.” Then she promptly burst into tears.

Thankfully, the carriage arrived, and she scampered in.

“Let us help.” Tiffany took her hand and handed her a handkerchief.

“You can’t. No one can.”

“Not even the ladies called the Sisterhood?” Tiffany meant to lighten the mood, but Serena could only shake her head.

“This is my problem to fix. And I think I know how.” The others looked at her expectantly, but she said nothing more. She knew what her solution would cost her, but rather than have Julian hate her for the rest of her life, she would put this right, no matter what it cost her. He would not lose everything he’d dreamed of because of her.

What a shame it had taken this mistake to make her understand her only dream all along was him. And now she would lose him. Or rather, now she had lost him.

Oh, she knew he would still turn up at her house soon to ask for her hand. Julian was too honorable to do anything else. But she’d not hold him to his promise. She could not marry a man who despised her. She had lost his trust and probably his love.

And she did not blame him.

This was her fault. She’d taken Julian’s friendship and love for granted. It was a bitter lesson to learn. And she’d pay for it the rest of her life.