Page 5 of Midnight Rendezvous (Sins & Sensibilities #4)

CHAPTER 5

P enelope walked down the corridor to the library, her heart hammering so hard she could barely hear over the rush of her breath. She badly wanted to look behind her to see if he followed but was afraid.

Oh, please, Alexander, do come .

The seconds crawled by, stretching her anticipation into agony. Her hands trembled as she opened the door to the library. A soft rustling made her pause. The heavy drapes near the window shifted, but it was only the wind. Her nerves had never felt this frayed.

Then she felt his heat behind her.

"Go inside, Penny."

"You came," she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper, taking a few steps forward, still afraid to look at him.

He closed the door behind him with a soft click . Swallowing, she faced Alexander. His shoulders were rigid, his gaze unreadable. Candlelight flickered over his sharp cheekbones, casting shadows that made him look dangerous.

"I almost did not," he said, his voice low and rough. "Why are we here?"

Her throat burned. "Because I wanted this moment with you."

Silence stretched between them. He stared at her as if searching for a reason to turn away. "Penelope..."

She closed the distance between them, pressing a trembling hand to his chest. Through the fine weave of his jacket, she felt the steady, strong beat of his heart. Her fingers curled slightly as if anchoring herself to him.

"I know what I am doing," she whispered.

His entire body tensed. "Do you?"

"Yes."

"That you are alone with a man like me reveals you do not."

She tilted her chin, meeting his gaze in the dim candlelight. "A man like you?"

His lips quirked in something too dark to be called a smile. "That is to say, there are depths to me you have not yet begun to understand."

A warning coasted over her skin at the veiled promise in his words.

"I was watching you from the upper bowers earlier," he murmured.

Her eyes widened. He had been watching her before she even saw him? "I..."

"You stood by the sidelines, and your mouth did not smile, and your eyes..." His voice roughened. "There was no joy in them. Until you saw me walking toward you."

A painful, aching knot formed in her chest. "Alexander..."

"You are right. We have only known each other for a few weeks, but tell me, do you like being with me? Do you think of the future and hope I am in it with you, Penny?"

Tears burned the back of her throat. But she would not lie. "Yes."

A slow, devastating smile curved his mouth. His eyes darkened, and he lifted a hand, his thumb brushing tenderly across her cheek.

"I want to protect your smile," he said. "This sadness and uncertainty I see in your eyes... I would replace it with pleasure and with happiness."

Penny could not bear to repeat what her mother had told her. Instead, she reached for him, wrapped her arms around his nape, and pulled herself onto her toes to press her mouth to his.

A soft, desperate kiss.

For a moment, he did not move. Then he shattered. His hands framed her face, angling her head as he took control, his mouth consuming hers with a hunger so raw it made her knees weaken. His tongue swept between her lips, teasing, coaxing, until she moaned into him. He pulled her flush against him, and she felt the hard, undeniable evidence of his desire pressing against her belly.

"For weeks, I fought the temptation to taste you," he rasped against her mouth. "By God, I was a fool. Tell me to stop, Penelope."

"No."

"Penny—"

She kissed the words from his mouth, gliding her tongue against the seam of his mouth as he had just done to hers. He groaned, and their mouths tangled in breathless passion.

So this is a kiss...

It felt wonderful . He broke their embrace, threading his fingers through her hair to lift her face to his. Alexander brushed a thumb over her lips, a grimace of lust darkening his gaze.

"I will escort you home now. How did you arrive—"

"No. I want this ...I want your kisses...."

"We will have many nights to—"

She whispered against his lips, "I have to marry the Duke of Merrick."

Alexander went still.

A terrible silence filled the room.

"What did you say?"

"My father... he will not accept your courtship. The duke... he..." Her fingers curled into his jacket, and she trembled in the cage of his arms.

Oh, what am I doing ?

Penny did not wish to speak about her parents' demands or of her duty to her family.

"I...kiss me until I feel nothing but you . I do not want to think about marrying someone else to save my family. Tonight, I want to be selfish because I am never allowed to be."

A soft curse escaped him. Then his lips were on hers again, softer this time, almost reverent, as if memorizing her. He kissed her over and over until thought unraveled until there was nothing but the deep, slow burn of desire. His fingers trembled as he slid down the bodice of her gown, loosening the ties.

"I am not the lover for you," he rasped. "Not for your first time."

"Yes, you are."

"Do you know the things I want to do to you?" he ground out. "Do you know how filthy my thoughts were when I saw your swollen lips just now?"

Penny fell over the edge of recklessness she had been poised on the entire night. "Tell me," she breathed.

His low chuckle was almost mocking, and Penny sensed that he was angry—at himself. The awareness slammed into her. Acting on wild instinct, she lifted a finger to caress along his jawline.

"You are angry because you cannot resist me."

She felt it—his sexuality was controlled and barely leashed, giving the sense that only Penny could ever unmoor him. She felt awe and shocked and tumbled hopelessly deeper.

Something dark flashed in his eyes. Alexander stepped back, his storm-dark gaze raking over her. "On your knees!"

The low command lashed through her, and before Penny could even process the riotous feeling of alarm and arousal that surged through her body, she fell to the lush carpet on her knees, staring up at him almost helplessly. Why...why had she responded so instantly and instinctively to that rough order? She blushed, and a tremor worked through her body.

A thrill coursed through her as he shed his coat and waistcoat, pulling the cravat free with a swift motion. Then he unbuttoned his shirt, shrugging it from his broad shoulders, baring the hard planes of his chest. Penny's breath hitched. She had imagined him like this, but nothing had prepared her for his raw power. The low candlelight cast golden shadows over his skin, highlighting the taut ridges of muscle and the lean, sculpted lines of his stomach.

Then he removed his trousers, and Penny's breath strangled in her throat. A tremor moved through her as her gaze dropped to his thick, rigid length. She felt uncertain and intimidated, but she was also drawn to him with an aching hunger that weakened her knees.

"Unpin your hair."

She obeyed, loosing the chignon so her dark raven hair tumbled over her shoulder and down to her back.

"For weeks, I have imagined those lips around my cock...your eyes watering as I coax your throat to take my cock."

Her breath stuttered, and she felt breathless confusion. Penny arched a brow and lowered her gaze to the length jutting out so proudly. "Ah...I presume this is your...cock?"

His dark chuckle rasped over her.

"The innocence in your eyes makes me feel like a depraved libertine," he hissed. "Go, stand—"

" No !"

He narrowed his gaze to a dangerous slit as if her defiance had stoked something inside of him. Penny only knew that should she leave, she might never touch or kiss him or be like this with him ever again.

She flicked her gaze to his and murmured, "I thought rakes should want to despoil... innocence. Afraid ?"

His mouth quirked into a half smile. Alexander shifted closer and threaded his fingers through her hair. Alexander's jaw flexed, the muscle ticking beneath his cheek as he stared at her. The storm in his eyes had changed—it was no longer simply desire but conflict and restraint battling behind that pale, glacial blue.

"I should not be like this with you," he said, voice low and raw. "You don't know what it means to give yourself this way."

But she did know. At least, some part of her did. She felt it deep inside—this reckless hunger to see him undone, to have his need laid bare for her and no one else.

"Then show me," she whispered.

He shuddered as if the words gutted him. She watched as he guided her hand to his arousal, and her breath caught at the heat and weight of him. Her fingers trembled around him, barely managing the breadth of his shaft. Her skin tingled with nerves, yet there was a wild, delicious thrill in knowing she had caused this. Her. Not a courtesan or a mistress. Not some experienced woman who knew how to wield her power with practiced ease.

"Wet your lips," he murmured.

She obeyed, nervously drawing her tongue across them. His eyes darkened, and he looked almost pained. With a tender and reverent hand, he cradled her cheek, his thumb sweeping the edge of her mouth.

"Open for me."

Her lips parted, and she felt the hot, velvet weight of him brush her tongue. She took him in slowly, uncertainly, aware of every new sensation—the silky skin, the way his breath hissed sharply through his teeth as her lips closed around him.

She looked up at him through her lashes. The expression he wore stole her breath—eyes nearly closed, brows furrowed, mouth parted in a silent groan.

He liked this. I am making him feel this.

A powerful rush of want surged through her.

He moved gently, guiding her—no roughness, only care. His fingers threaded through her hair, urging her to take more of him. Her jaw stretched wider as he slid deeper, and a dull ache bloomed. Still, she pushed forward, greedy for the look on his face. Then she felt his hand at her throat—his thumb caressing lightly as if soothing her.

"You're doing so well," he rasped. "Relax. Breathe through your nose."

She tried. Her throat resisted. Her eyes stung. But still, she let him guide her. He pushed deeper, and she made a choking sound, a tear slipping down her cheek. Gasping, she drew back with a wet sound, blinking up at him, breathless and dazed. The taste of him lingered on her lips. She had never felt so... powerful. And yet, so vulnerable. She wanted more. She wanted everything .

His gaze was steady, locked on hers. "You should run from me. You should demand I take you home. That's what a good, proper young lady would do."

She smiled, just faintly. "I don't want to be good or proper tonight. Can't you tell?"

A look of wicked carnality settled across his features as his fingers tightened in her hair. With a slow, deliberate thrust, he guided his cock deeper into her mouth. Penny moaned around the strain in her jaw, feeling the thick length push farther than she thought possible.

His hips moved again—rougher this time—and her eyes burned as the stretch became almost unbearable. Her muffled moan vibrated against him, desperate and needy, even as her throat protested.

She clutched at his thighs, grounding herself, and stared up at him through damp lashes. There was something darkly sensual in his gaze, almost cruel in its intensity, and for a wild, shivering moment, she thought he might push even deeper past the limits of her breath.

A hiss escaped him, sharp and low before he pulled free with a wet sound that left her gasping—jaw aching, lips tingling, and a wet heat pulsing between her thighs.

That wetness startled her and confused her.

She had never imagined such pleasure could stem from something so raw. And yet, her body trembled for more. The regret that flashed across his face shocked her.

"Christ," he muttered, kneeling and gathering her into his arms. "Penny—I'm sorry. I lost control. I should never lose that kind of control with you."

Somehow, that word— control —unnerved her. It implied there was a part of him she would never see. That with her, he could not be entirely himself. That the man she was permitted to know was only a tempered version, carefully curated.

A flare of panic twisted through her, sharp and unexpected. She swallowed it down with calm pragmatism.

What does it matter if he's holding something back? After tonight... we are strangers again.

He kissed the crown of her head, then held her close. When he drew back, it was only to tilt her chin up with gentle fingers. His mouth found hers again—not with the consuming heat of before, but with reverence. Tender. Restrained.

And it was that restraint that made her ache. A strange sense of loss unfurled inside her. As if the man who had kissed her with wild hunger only moments ago had vanished, replaced by someone cooler, more deliberate. A controlled seducer, composed and distant.

And God help her... she wanted the other version. The one who had trembled when she touched him. The one who couldn't resist her. His lips were warm and slow, worshipful, brushing over hers again and again until her racing heart calmed, until the moment turned from heated to heartbreakingly intimate.

Cool air whispered over her skin, but it was nothing compared to the fire of his mouth closing over her bare shoulder. She shuddered as he kissed his way down, dragging the silk from her arms, exposing inch by inch of flushed, trembling skin.

She gasped when her gown pooled at her feet.

"You are exquisite," he rasped. "If you do not want this...tell me before we cross the point of no return."

She rushed into his arms, cupping his jaw. "I want you...I want this with every breath inside my body."

He groaned, dragging her against his body and crashing his mouth against hers with violent tenderness. He lowered her onto the carpet, his weight pressing into her. His lips dragged down her throat, over the swells of her breasts, before capturing one aching peak between his teeth. A cry spilled from her as he laved his tongue over the sensitized tip, the pleasure shocking, sharp, and unbearably sweet.

His mouth moved lower, pressing kisses along her belly, her navel. Then he settled between her parted thighs.

" Oh —"

She gasped as his mouth pressed against her sex, his tongue sweeping over her most intimate flesh with devastating slowness. The sensation was foreign, shocking, and impossibly good . She sobbed his name, her body trembling, her hips arching helplessly into the caress of his tongue. Over and over, he loved her with his tongue and lips.

Pleasure curled through her, tightening, pulsing, winding her higher and higher until she shattered with a cry, shuddering beneath him. Then he was above her again, his breathing ragged, his gaze burning into hers. He guided himself to her entrance, the thick, swollen head of his cock pressing against her slick but trembling flesh.

"Look at me," he said, voice husky, low. "You're tight, untried—and I'm not a small man. It will hurt."

Penny's breath caught. "Hurt?" she whispered, her voice thread-thin.

"Only for a short while," he promised, brushing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "I swear—the pleasure will come back."

She held his gaze, her arms locked around his neck as he began to press into her. The intrusion was immediate and shocking. Pain bloomed sharp and deep, stealing the air from her lungs. A cry tore from her throat as her nails bit into his shoulders, her entire body going taut with resistance.

It was too much. Too thick. Too deep.

Tears stung her eyes, and for one breathless moment, she almost begged him to stop. But then his hand slid between their bodies, and his fingers found her. A gasp broke from her lips as he stroked her clitoris in slow, skilled circles—soft, coaxing, knowing.

The ache remained sharp and stretching, but now it mingled with a flicker of something else. A rush of heat licked through her belly, tightening the muscles of her belly. She moaned shakily, the pain dulling, blurred by the unexpected ripple of pleasure his fingers summoned.

She grew wetter, her body relaxing by increments, and he slid deeper. Penny whimpered as he filled her inch by relentless inch, the pain still there—but softened. Confused by the way her body ached for more, even as it trembled from the shock of taking him.

"That's it," Alexander murmured, his mouth brushing her cheek. "You're doing so well... Let me in, Penny."

And she did. Her thighs parted wider, her nails curling tighter into his skin as he rocked deeper, stretching her fully, the pain and pleasure blending until she no longer knew where one ended and the other began.

His movements were slow at first, careful. But when her body softened around him, when her nails dug into his back, pulling him closer, he lost control. He drove into her deeper, his breath rough against her ear as he filled her completely.

It was bliss.

It was devastation.

It was everything she would never have again. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she clung to him, her body trembling as the pleasure crested. His hips rolled with deep, purposeful thrusts, and with a soft, broken cry, Penny shattered around him—her inner muscles pulsing as ecstasy tore through her in waves. Alexander groaned her name like a curse and a prayer, his thrusts turning erratic before he buried himself deep and found his own release with a shudder.

For a long, breathless moment, they remained tangled together, limbs entwined. Their breathing came in harsh, uneven pants, and he was still joined with her, their bodies locked in perfect, aching stillness.

She held on tightly, memorizing everything—his weight pressing her into the carpet, the musk and spice of his scent, the way his mouth sought hers even in the aftermath, soft and reverent, as if he hadn't just taken her body but something more.

Something Penny wasn't ready to name, not when it was so fleeting.