Page 3 of Messy AF (At First #3)

three

~ Tobias ~

S eated in my favorite spot on the sofa, laptop perched on my thighs, I reread the same sentence for the third time. And again, the words blended together, letters seemingly rearranging themselves into a jumble of nonsense.

Huffing in frustration, I rubbed my eyes and tapped my cheeks roughly, trying to shake myself out of the fog that had settled over me. It didn’t work. My brain still felt like scrambled eggs.

The constant fatigue probably didn’t help, but this particular problem didn’t stem from distractions or a lack of concentration. I literally couldn’t make sense of the words in front of me, as if my brain had hung an “Out to Lunch” sign and logged offline for the foreseeable future.

Closing my laptop with an irritated grunt, I set it aside and shoved to my feet. A mistake, and one I should have known better than to make.

The dizziness slammed into me instantly, toppling me back onto the sofa.

Perched on the edge of the cushions, I squeezed my eyes closed and hunched forward, dropping my face into my hands.

My stomach rolled uncomfortably, forcing me to take low, deep breaths while I waited for the world to stop spinning.

With my eyes closed, I didn’t see Warren approach, nor had I heard him. Honestly, the guy moved like a freaking ghost. I sensed him, though, like a steadying presence, right before strong hands came to rest on my shoulders.

He didn’t say anything as he guided me upright, then into a slightly reclined position. His large hand settled on my chest, right over my sternum, a solid, comforting weight that both grounded and reassured.

We sat that way for a few minutes until the dizziness subsided and the nausea passed, but I didn’t try to sit up or move right away. Instead, I rolled my head and blinked my eyes open with an embarrassed smile.

“Thank you.”

It had taken barely forty-eight hours for Warren to integrate himself into my life so seamlessly that it felt as if he had always been there.

Not forcibly. Not aggressively.

He had simply come in and filled a space I hadn’t even realized existed.

I had worried it would be weird, or that I would regret inviting a stranger into my space. Warren made it easy, though. Natural. A constant fixture in my days that had quickly become a comfort rather than an intrusion.

Quiet, calm, attentive without being suffocating, he always knew exactly what I needed. More importantly, he provided care in a way that always made me feel like I was doing him a favor rather than being a burden. Like I could make him happy just by letting him watch over me.

Of course, I still struggled with my limitations, and according to Warren, I still tried to do too much, like now.

“What happened?” he asked.

There was no heat behind his words, just gentle exasperation mixed with a thread of indulgence.

“I tried to stand up too fast.”

He carded his fingers through his thick blond hair and sighed. “Why didn’t you call for me?”

“I didn’t think about it,” I admitted.

Resting his head on the back of the sofa, his face only inches from mine, he arched an eyebrow in question. “Where did you want to go?”

“No idea.” I shrugged, a quiet chuckle puffing from my lips. “I was frustrated with work, and the next thing I knew, I was on my feet.”

He echoed my laughter, the sound warm and infectious.

I glanced away, cheeks flushing. “I guess I just thought moving would help.”

His gaze softened, his smoky gray eyes flashing with an emotion gone too quickly for me to read. “I get that, but this isn’t something you can run away from.”

I rolled my eyes, but the weight in my chest eased a fraction. “I wasn’t running away. I’m just used to doing things on my own.”

“Trust me, I know, but asking for help doesn’t make you weak. That’s why I’m here, remember?” He winged his leg to the side, nudging my knee with his. “Besides, I like being needed.”

His words hung between us, bold and unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world to wait for me to believe them.

My throat tightened, thick with emotion. Unable to form a response, I offered a smile and a shallow nod of understanding.

“You’re not too much,” he continued. “You’re not going to annoy me by asking for something that makes things easier for you. So, let me help you, okay?”

I released a shaky breath and nodded again.

When I hired him, it had been based purely on practicality, and I hadn’t actually believed I would get used to someone taking care of me. Certainly not this quickly.

Yet, for reasons I couldn’t explain, I trusted the vampire. Even more confusing, I found myself wanting to make him happy, wanting him to like me.

Piece by piece, he had been dismantling the walls I had built around myself without me even realizing it. He made it feel okay to be vulnerable, proving with actions instead of words that I could rely on him.

Which, of course, was his job.

It didn’t mean anything, and it damn sure didn’t make me special.

“Good,” Warren said, his tone full of praise as he reached out to lightly cuff the side of my head. “Now, are you hungry?”

I kept my smile firmly in place, doing my best to ignore the way his touch made my heart do backflips in my chest. “I could eat.”

“Do you want to wait here or keep me company in the kitchen?”

“I can help,” I offered.

For obvious reasons, Warren didn’t like it when I handled knives, but I could do other things. I mean, I could definitely stack a sandwich without causing an emergency.

A fleeting expression of disapproval flashed across his handsome face, there and gone so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it.

“Perfect,” he responded as he pushed up from the sofa. “Let’s do it.”

He offered a hand, helping me to my feet, and while he didn’t hover, he stayed close by my side as we made our way to the kitchen. There, he guided me to the table, a square-top with a tinted glass surface, just big enough for two people.

Tucked safely into one of the padded chairs, I drummed my fingers against my thigh while I waited for him to gather ingredients from the pantry and fridge. I watched him navigate the space with increasing fascination, mesmerized by the way every movement flowed seamlessly into the next.

Lithe and graceful, he moved faster than any human, though not as quickly as I knew he could. More like watching a video clip on double speed rather than witnessing anything supernatural.

He had just finished spreading everything out on the table when I felt the recognizable tingle at the top of my spine. My vision blurred, dimming at the edges, and my head started to buzz, a low hum that made my thoughts muted and hazy.

Folding my arms on top of the glass surface took far more effort than it should have, and just as I started to lower my head to rest atop them, I remembered what Warren had said. He liked being needed. He wanted me to ask for help.

I didn’t have to go through this alone.

“Warren.”

I managed only his name, and even that sounded slurred and garbled.

Then I was falling, tumbling into the darkness.

A few seconds or a couple of hours could have passed without me knowing, but when I came to again, I found myself on the kitchen floor. Unlike the other times when I had roused alone and confused, face down on a hard surface, I awoke cradled in the protection of Warren’s arms.

Curled in his lap, my head resting on his shoulder, his icy scent filling my head, I didn’t immediately open my eyes or move. Still, the vampire knew. I couldn’t say what had given me away—a change in breathing, an increase in my heart rate—but his arms tightened around me, holding me in place.

“Don’t try to move yet.”

“Okay,” I agreed easily, perfectly content to remain right where I was. “How long was I out?”

“A few minutes.” He caressed my back in long, soothing strokes. “How do you feel?”

“Fine.” No aches or pains. No new scrapes or bruises. I couldn’t even process how fast he must have moved to prevent me from crashing to the floor. “Thanks for not letting me fall.”

His fingers slid into my hair, the tips gently massaging my scalp. “Thank you for trusting me to catch you.”

He tilted his head, his cheek brushing my temple briefly before he pulled away again. When he exhaled, I could feel the shakiness of the breath vibrate in his chest, could hear the stutter of air that flowed from his lips.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” I offered, my face still hidden against the side of his neck.

“You didn’t scare me.”

Then why did he breathe like that? Why did his pulse flutter in his throat like a hummingbird’s wings?

Not sure I wanted to know the answer, I said nothing and curled into him, soaking up his attention for as long as I could.

Stupid, of course. I had no business being in his lap. No right to expect anything beyond basic care as it pertained to his job. I knew better than to get attached, or to assume his actions equaled affection.

I didn’t know why I felt so drawn to him, or why I no longer saw him as a stranger. Yes, he had been kind to me, but so had a lot of other people in my life. I didn’t constantly think about kissing them.

For a moment, I let myself consider the idea that I had been alone for too long. Maybe allowing someone, anyone, to get close made me realize how starved I’d been for connection.

A tidy conclusion that fit into a neat little box, but that didn’t make it real.

In truth, I didn’t mind being alone. Although I had been single for over a year, it hadn’t been because I feared intimacy or commitment. I just hadn’t felt the desire for it.

Until now.

Something about Warren called to me, reawakening feelings that had been dormant for a long time, emotions that went beyond mere gratitude. I just didn’t understand why.

On the next upward glide, Warren’s hand stilled on my nape, his thumb tracing idle circles across the skin. “Do you think you could eat something now?”

Swallowing back a sigh, I pushed away all those messy, tangled emotions and lifted my head, meeting his gaze with a smile. “Yeah, and I’ll try not to pass out this time.”

I didn’t know where these feelings had come from, but they were mine to deal with. It wouldn’t be fair to push my wants onto him, and I would never ask him for more than he could give.

“That’s okay.” He pinched the end of my nose and wiggled it playfully. “I’ll just catch you again.”

We both laughed, and something inside me settled at his antics.

For however long it lasted, this was enough.