Page 71 of Mess

“Love and comfort. Actually, you’re right, Jane, I think that covers most of what I want from life. Maybe also to be appreciated, instead of or in addition to being loved? I like it when my work is valued.”

“I categorize appreciation as a subset of love: appreciation, admiration, it’s all covered by that.”

“Oh, of course you have it all categorized! You kill me, Jane....”

“Occupational hazard.”

“ ‘Love’ is a pretty high bar, though, right? Maybe the appreciation and admiration, when you can get it, should be enough.”

“I don’t know, I’m a dyed-in-the-wool romantic. I want to find love.”

Anna put down her taco and stared at Jane. “Are you joking?”

“No.”

“Jane, I love you, but you are, like, one of the most cynical people I know.”

“If you were a true romantic, wouldn’t the world we live in make you cynical?”

“Okay, yes, I can see that.”

“Maybe I’m more of a fantasist than a romantic, I don’t know,” Jane mused, poking at the rivulets of cheese congealing on her plate. “I probably have unrealistic expectations about, well, pretty much everything.”

“Like Teddy?” Anna asked, gently.

“Maybe. I don’t know.... That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

“You never know for sure, do you? Until maybe you just do? I just had a date with this guy, and he is, like—a whole new paradigm. His name is Joey and get this, he’s not an actor, he’s a dog trainer!”

“I love that! Where’d you meet him?”

“On the set of that moronic show I cast about the family of geniuses. There was a dog in one scene—this beautiful German shepherd named Pepper—and he was the handler. He was so good with the dog, it seemed auspicious.”

“Good with animals is very auspicious.”

“Well, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I like hanging out with him. And his dog. How is it going with Teddy?”

Jane groaned. “Honestly, I have no idea. He got another tattoo.”

“You must hate that.”

“No, I don’t really. I mean, it’s a little cheesy....”

“What does it say?”

“ ‘To thine own self be true,’ ” Jane recited, trying to sound neutral.

“Okay. Well, Shakespeare, right...?”

“Right, so one could say that it is literate.”

“What does it mean to Teddy?”

“I think that he wants to be true to himself?”

“That’s the obvious read, Jane, and therefore, probably the correct one.”

“The question is, what does being true to yourself mean to Teddy?” Jane wondered aloud.